


Beating Like A Hammer

by uncreativename



Series: Beating Like A Hammer universe (Carmilla AU) [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/F, Tour AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 68,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6234487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncreativename/pseuds/uncreativename
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The magazine Laura works for has been given a substantial amount of money to profile and promote an up-and-coming band. She’s sent to join them on their summer promo tour, to be the ‘eyes and ears’ of their growing fan base. Of course, her natural instinct to turn everything into an investigation leads her to make surprising discoveries about the band’s past and their elusive guitarist and main songwriter, Carmilla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the following people who were part of the earlier stages of this fic: duckiesurprise, makethingsfunny, ghostmachine and calledfor. It’s finally at a point where I can start to post it. Wild, eh?  
> Biggest thanks to platypiandi, my beta, who has had to endure my questions about this fic for almost a year. She's the best!  
>  ~~And yes, the band is called Non! Anon. A hipster band needs a hipster name.~~

Laura Hollis had a great life. She had a great job, which was setting her up for a great career. She lived in a great apartment, with a great roommate, in a great city.

Things were _great_.

Great, great, great.

Good.

_Okay._

Things were just…

Alright.

Sure, it could be a little dull sometimes. She was a little too focused on work and not much else. But it was still great.

Or it was getting there.

She was twenty-four years old and set in her routine. Every day was the same, which suited her just fine (for now). She knew what to expect, which lots of people would’ve envied. She had stability.

Her alarm set for every weekday morning at 6 am (Alarm Name: _Wake up!_ ). She’d set one more for 6:15 am (Alarm Name: _Come on, Laura!_ ) and one more for when she’d inevitably get up, 6:30 am (Alarm Name: _Fine. Don’t shower. Be gross._ ).

She’d drag herself out of bed, take the fastest shower known to humankind, run a brush through her hair, and then brush her teeth. She’d grab an apple or banana and a granola bar for breakfast and whatever leftovers or bag salad she had in the fridge for her sad desk lunch (which she’d supplement with some cookies from the stash she kept at her desk). She’d be out the door by 7:15 and catch the streetcar.

She’d stroll into work a little before 8 am, with a smile to the custodial staff, who were usually the only other people there that early. She’d work on whatever concert review she’d need to finish or copy edit whatever article that would fall on her desk. By the time everyone else would show up, she’d be ready for more work. She’d go to the video team, see if they had anything they needed any help reviewing footage for their YouTube channel. She’d see if any of the other writers needed help with their research or contacting sources or anything else they could possibly need help with.

Laura worked at _The Society_ , Toronto’s premiere music industry and pop culture magazine. It was sometimes called the _Buzzfeed_ of Canada’s music scene (much to the chagrin of her super hipster pretentious coworkers). She was part of the social media team and a reviewer of gigs, concerts, shows, and the occasional busker.

Of course, that was just semantics. The position they hired her for was not necessarily the position she worked. Laura would cover anything and everything. She was on top of every department at work. She offered to stay late, work weekends, travel when needed. She knew she had a reputation for being eager – _too_ eager – but _whatever_ . She was _Laura Hollis_ , journalist extraordinaire, _highly undervalued at her current place of employment_ , but otherwise happy.

All this extra work, was just setting her up. Her time was coming. She’d worked there for the last thirteen months and was finally starting to feel like she was getting somewhere, you know?

(Her coworkers thought she was a bit of a pushover, ‘cause she wanted in on _every_ project, even the grunt work, but that was fine. It was all for the experience. She’d be rewarded one day. She would. She hoped.)

Anyway, back to her routine. At the end of the work day (you know, staying later than the rest of her co-workers, leaving after saying goodbye the evening custodial staff), if she had an assignment, she’d grab a falafel off the closest food truck and eat it on the way to the gig. If she didn’t, she’d go home, change into her comfiest clothes, make something quick (and wildly unhealthy) for dinner, and spend her evening curled up with a book or Netflix and her roommate Betty’s cat. She’d go to bed at 11 pm (okay, that’s a lie, she’d totally go to bed _way_ earlier than appropriate for a woman in her mid-twenties) and she’d start it all over again the next day.

Her weekends? Half the time she’d be awkwardly attending different events - political rallies, sit-ins, protests, festivals, and community meet-ups. Anything that she could vlog about on her personal YouTube channel or write about on her blog. She tried to get her name out and network with people in the industry. She was as awkward as she was friendly, which was a terrible combination for being taken seriously, but at least she was starting to gain recognition.

The other half the time she usually just holed herself up in her room and wasted time, marathoning television shows. She wished she had more of a social life, or at least be able to see her dad in Hamilton more, but that was the first thing she sacrificed when she decided she wanted this career.

Look, Laura lived for her work and she didn’t think it was a bad thing. And it _wasn’t_ . Ambition, drive, being _excellent_ – they weren’t bad traits. She was ready to climb even further up Canada’s media ladder, and _The Society_ was a great start at getting her experience. Her side-projects were great for getting her name out.

That said, she missed the complete emersion of being an actual _journalist._ The long nights of research. The follow through with leads. Interviewing sources. Getting out there, working on _real legitimate news_. Tweeting for a magazine and writing concert reviews at dingy hipster bars was not her passion.

And there was the potential for the kind of work Laura wanted to do at the magazine. Just last issue, they did a feature on the prevalence of recording artists purchasing songwriting credits. She helped interview a few sources for that article. There was another on plagiarism versus paying homage. She was part of the research team for that one.

 _Those_ were the kinds of assignments she wanted to do more of and one day _lead_ . She dreamed for a byline on a _real, legitimate_ article and get her name out as a _real, legitimate_ journalist. Then maybe she’d be able to move up, work at the Toronto Star, or for CNN, or for any other news corporation.

Until then, she settled on making the absolute best out of her routine.

\--

Her personal life, on the other hand, was suffering. If she wanted the great career, she had to sacrifice a lot - and the first thing to go was relationships. It wasn’t exactly for a lack of trying - it was just the dedication she had to putting it out there. She’d rather go to a public forum than go on _another_ bad Tinder date, just like she’d rather go visit her dad than be set-up on _another_ bad date courtesy of Betty.

Laura had become an expert at the first date and an expert at not following through with a second.

Plus there’d be just...an all together all lack of spark with the women she’d seen. Was it so wrong for her that she wanted a connection with someone? Someone who understood her drive, her need for success? Someone who knew she needed space but someone who also wanted to woo her?

She _knew_ she shouldn’t have been choosy, as she’d been reminded numerous times: a dry spell was a dry spell. But Laura was fine with how her life was.

When everything else was in place, _then_ she could focus on her pathetic love life.

\--

The day Laura was hoping for finally came. It was mid-June, 7:56 am; she had at least a half hour before anyone else would show up. Things were the same as usual. She smiled at the janitor as he passed her down the hall and unlocked the newsroom door with her key fob.

She was immediately greeted by a buff man she’d never met before who was standing outside her editor’s closed door. He nodded at her.

“Uh, can I help you?” she asked, dropping her stuff off at her desk and walking over to him.

“No ma’am,” he answered, not really meeting Laura’s eye. He looked like a guard; he probably was. When bigger name musicians came in for interviews, they were usually with an entourage, which included security. There was probably a fancy band or musician meeting with her editor.

Which wasn’t out of the ordinary; but usually there were other people around when it happened. And it was never before 8 am. And it was usually announced to the team.

Maybe she missed the memo. She went back to her desk, turned on her computer. She checked her schedule – a new item was added since yesterday from their editor: they had a meeting first thing in the morning. Well, there; probably with whoever was in the room with her. She busied herself with her latest review on an up-and-coming band from Calgary, when her boss’s office door opened.

Aside from her editor, Jane Cochrane, two _incredibly_ powerful looking women left the room. She didn’t really see their faces, as they were immediately whisked away by the security guard, heading towards the back exit. They were dressed rather professionally though - business suits - so she didn’t think they were a band...

Laura gave Cochrane a wave in hello, and quirked an eyebrow up. She responded with a shrug then went back into her office and shut the door.

\--

Laura’s curiosity didn’t last long; at the meeting, Cochrane filled everyone in about the magazine’s next project: profile the up-and-coming band Non! Anon. She had met with two representatives from the band’s record company that morning to finalize the terms.

“Does everyone know who they are?” she asked, jokingly.

 _Everyone_ knew who this band was. They were one of the few Canadian bands to have a Billboard Hot 100 number one single in over a decade. They were on the cover of every teen magazine in the world. They had millions of followers on Twitter. They had a legion of teenaged fans who followed them everywhere.

They were also incredibly over-exposed, over-produced, and probably didn’t really write their own songs or play their own instruments. The only cachet they had was that they were an openly out and proud LGBTQ+ band, but even that wasn’t enough to save them from their _terribly_ catchy (but also terribly terrible) first single, a cover of _Don’t You Want Me_ by Human League.

Yeah. _Don’t You Want Me_.

Just...ugh. It was a decent cover but...not a cover anyone asked for.

It really didn’t need to be said – in Laura’s opinion, they had no place at _The Society._ But one of her coworkers, Theo, vocalized that thought: “Of course we know who they are; they’re everywhere and they’re shit.”

The group laughed, including Laura.

“Well, Theo, it’s good to know you will be fine with not travelling around North America for the next few months with them.”

A murmur of ‘ooohs’ went around the room. Laura sat up a little straighter. _This_ could be interesting.

(With a little satisfaction, she saw Theo hunch over in his seat.)

“Glittering Diamond Records wants us to join the band this summer on their tour. It’s a huge opportunity for us and everyone should be counting their lucky stars they chose _us_ to do it,” Cochrane continued. “Hollis – how do you feel about tour busses?”

All eyes fell on Laura.

“What?”

She tried to ignore the murmuring of her coworkers but fidgeted under their glares; the silencing look on Cochrane’s face quieted them.

“I want you to lead the magazine’s next project: Profile Non! Anon. Give them the full treatment: an article for the September issue, daily exclusive pictures from the band, weekly vlogs. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed. You’re dedicated to the magazine. You’re a talented writer and you’re quick on your feet,” Cochrane said. Then she turned towards the others. “She also has the widest range of expertise and she makes herself useful where she can. Unlike a lot of you.”

A few of her coworkers - Theo especially - shifted uncomfortably.

“So Laura, if you’re interested, you’ll spend the next six weeks with Non! Anon. We have all the equipment ready for you. The record company wanted someone who’d be their fans’ eyes and ears, and I can’t think of anyone better than you.”

Before Laura could respond, Theo interrupted. “I stand by what I said. They’re a shitty band. Why are we bothering with them? We’re a respected music publication, not _J-14_.”

“And it’s going to cost us a lot of money to pursue this,” Sarah Jane, her desk mate, added.

Cochrane held up her hand. “We have been given an _unprecedented_ amount of money to profile the band by their record company. And I, unlike you, Theo, am unfamiliar with the content of _J-14_ magazine. Now, back to Laura. Are you interested?”

“Uh, obviously,” Laura answered. “But I’m a little confused. This is going to be a huge investment for a band that has _one_ song. They don’t even have an album out yet, do they?”

“Their EP came out just last week, and I agree, it’s strange. But their people really want them to succeed. And they want part of their success to come through us. It’s just another layer to their marketing mix. And we work in print, guys, it’s not like we’re in the position to decline money here. This isn’t an unheard of request.”

“It is for _The Society_ ,” Natalie, another coworker brought up.

“Look, I get it. You guys don’t like the band. But the fact is, every teenager in North America – and probably the world – has a poster of them on their wall, probably has a Tumblr blog dedicated to them. This is potentially big for us. So if any of you are so _above this_ , you’re free to leave. Meeting dismissed – Laura, I’ll meet with you about the details later.”

\--

So this was it. Her big break, her next step to the next phase of her journalistic life. She’d been given this great opportunity and she was ready to blow everyone away.

Kind of.

It wasn’t exactly cutting-edge journalism. And it was going to keep her from being in Toronto for the whole summer. She wouldn’t be able to visit her dad like she usually did.

But was a cool opportunity to travel, get information on the life of a musician, and again, it was more experience. One more thing to add to her portfolio.

 _And_ her editor picked her. All her hard work _was_ paying off. She was being established as as a person to be reckoned with at the magazine. She was getting a team of people to work for her - Sarah Jane, Natalie, and J.P. - who would help her edit, post, and come up with ideas.

And the extra money she’d earn this summer? That was _definitely_ appealing. The record company was _really_ invested in having this be a success.

So she really couldn’t have any complaints at all.

Laura was going to meet the band in a week and leave for the tour in two. She spent the next few days in research mode. She poured over Non! Anon’s media kit, the information package that the record company gave her, basically every article written about the band, and, of course, their newly released EP. Of cover songs.

_Don’t You Want Me. Take on Me. Need You Tonight. Straight Up. The Look. Control._

They were like...KidzBop, but queer and “cool”. They weren’t... _awful_. But they weren’t exactly Polaris Music Prize-quality either. They were a glorified, albeit talented, cover band.

There were four members - LaFontaine (Laura’s notes read: _short red head, singer, guitar player_ ), Danny Lawrence ( _tall red head, bass player, sometimes guitarist_ ), Wilson Kirsch ( _man-puppy, played the drums_ ) and Carmilla ( _ridiculously beautiful, sang back-up, guitar player, sometimes bassist_ ). She thought it was _hilarious_ how two of the members don’t use their full names; she figured it was a super pretentious promo tactic. She’d get J.P. to look into that later.

They were all in their early 20s. They were from Mississauga. Their record company’s bio on them presented them as a total Cinderella story: four kids who were discovered by some strange coincidence and were signed on the spot and now living their wildest dreams.

Which was _fine_ , but it was cliché and totally unbelievable. They just _happened_ to be discovered while playing in Kirsch’s mom’s garage. A record exec for Glittering Diamond Records just _happened_ to be driving past his house and heard the opening chords to their cover of _Don’t You Want Me_ (again, why they thought it’d be a good idea to bring _that_ song from the 80s back, she had no idea). _Right._

No, it was fake. It had to be. She made a note to ask them about how they were _really_ discovered.

Another thing that really struck her was...well. Their guitarist was beautiful. God, she was pretty. Just...wow. Laura could imagine she would’ve put posters of her up on her wall if she was a 14 year old.

And her name was Carmilla. She’d remember that. Easily.

...As she was going to remember all of their names. She looked over at the group photo again, committing the other members names and faces to her memory.

LaFontaine, Danny, Kirsch, and _Carmilla_.

Oh god, she was regressing; she was a teenage girl again. She wondered if Carmilla just photographed well or if she was as beautiful in real life. She wondered if that’d be an issue...

Laura shook her head, stopping herself from perseverating on Carmilla’s picture again. Whatever.

It was nothing. She didn’t really like their genre of music. In that sense, she could at least trust that she wouldn’t be swept up by any of their “celebrity”. They weren’t big by way of substance. Non! Anon were harmless fun music and very mainstream, but Laura didn’t really think they’d have any staying power.

She wondered why the record company was pouring money into the band - really, they weren’t _that_ special (her eyes lingered over another picture of Carmilla; something stopped her from really believing it). They were obviously talented musicians, based on the videos of their live performances, but their music was, like was said in the meeting, _shit_.

She made another note to get S.J. to look into their record company later.

A few minutes later she was proven wrong. She browsed Tumblr for info – fangirls were basically undercover detectives – and found some of their original stuff which was previously on YouTube, but taken down. And it was actually good. Completely different, but _good_ . Carmilla also sang lead on a few songs and played bass on most of them. Laura liked those the most. She just _really_ liked Carmilla’s voice.

(And her face. But again, she pushed that thought down.)

She made one last note to find out why Carmilla didn’t sing lead anymore.

//

A week later, Laura sat in a boardroom in the offices of Glittering Diamond Records. It marked a week before the tour would begin and she was being debriefed by the band’s record company PR rep, Matska Belmonde, who she recognized from leaving the early morning meeting with Cochrane. She was in every way stunning but equally intimidating and terrifying. The band’s manager, Will Luce, was also there contributing nothing (other than being smarmy and creepy). There were some contracts to be signed and a pretty restrictive Non-Disclosure Agreement.

The rules and documentation were fair enough – the record company had final say for content, no political statements, no speaking to other press or paparazzi, no mention of payment to the magazine. She couldn’t report on sex and alcohol or substance abuse (which she had seen in other NDAs - standard practice).

But there were a few terms in the contract that struck Laura – there was a list of products that needed to be appear in every vlog, mentioned in every other blog post, advertised in the issue that the article was to appear in. There was to be no mention of songwriting. No mention of their early work. There was a substantial amount of restrictions on what she could talk about after the tour was over. Basically, she couldn’t say a word without the expressed permission of the record company.

She was to submit every vlog, article, _tweet_ for review. Which, Laura scoffed. This was impossible. She, as a journalist, was being tied to writing fluff. She was not into that. And she couldn’t stop herself from asking about it.

Will raised his eyebrows; she immediately got the sense that he wasn’t completely familiar with how to do his job (another thing added to the ever growing list for her to look into later). Mattie (which Matska insisted Laura call her) simply waved her hand, like it was no big deal.

“We find that our particular media contract only allows for more trust in our mutual relationship; we want Non! Anon to feel comfortable around you - and we want you to feel comfortable around us. It’s all in the name of reciprocity. You give us what we want? We’ll give you what _The Society_ wants - hits and readers, for one thing,” she said, with a condescending laugh.

“But it’ll be impossible for me to show you every _tweet_ for reviewal-”

“-We’ll make it work, Miss Hollis,” Mattie replied, with a tight smile.

“-But-”

“ _We’ll make it work_.” In other words, her tone told her to shut up. So she did. It didn’t sit well though - what was the point of her even being there if she couldn't actually do her job?

“So, Laura, we’re excited for you to come on board,” Mattie continued, taking Laura’s attention from the contract. She felt like she was two feet tall under the woman’s sharp glare and intimidating smile. God, she really was the quintessential public relations woman. “I can already tell that the band is going to like you. Let me page for them to come in.” Mattie pressed a button on the phone. “We’re ready for them.”

Laura stood up, ready to greet the band and thankful that she would no longer be alone in the room with Mattie and Will. The door swung open and she was immediately greeted by a big smile – LaFontaine. Then Kirsch and Danny followed, with matching grins.

Then Carmilla.

Their eyes locked, and damn it - Carmilla was even more gorgeous in real life. Photos did not do this woman justice. She knew, just by looking at her, that she was bad news in black leather pants. Any semblance of “cool” that Laura may have had just flew out the door. Carmilla’s lips turned up into a small smile (the kind of smile that _knew_ what kind of affect she was having on her). It made Laura flush even more.

_Oh god._

Laura stared, for way too long for what was deemed socially appropriate. It was only the clearing of someone’s throat caught her attention, bringing everything back to focus. Right - the meeting. The band. LaFontaine stood in front of her and with a chuckle, held their hand out; Laura shook it, embarrassed, trying to ignore everyone’s blatant staring.

“This is LaFontaine,” Mattie introduced, graciously not commenting on Laura’s extreme awkwardness, “Kirsch, Danny, and Carmilla. Guys, I’d like you to meet Laura Hollis. She’s with _The Society_. She’s the journalist who will be joining you on tour this summer.”

“Hi Laura, glad to have you on board!” Danny said, shaking her hand.

Kirsch nodded, shaking her hand next. “Yeah, we’re huge fans of _The Society_.”

“Huge fans! This is awesome,” LaFontaine said.

Laura turned to Carmilla, who shrugged and picked at her nails.

Oh. Okay. She was not too terribly impressed. That was _fine_. It didn’t bother Laura. She probably just needed some warming up to, which Laura was great at.

The band took seats around the table, and as a group were all briefed on the nature of the tour and given the full schedule.

It only filled Laura with more questions.

It was (at least) two nights in a city: one night participating in the tour thing, and the next night playing a private gig, usually for a wealthy benefactor (or a political group, a lobby group, a corporation). For the next one and a half months, there were _barely_ any days off. In Laura’s experience, tours like this were meant to be cash grabs.

And the band had no idea. Laura scanned her eyes over the members, who were smiling, agreeing to everything (except for Carmilla, whose default emotion seemed to be ‘unimpressed’). They didn’t seem to mind (or know any better, she wasn’t sure). She was is taken by how young and naïve they were. They seem to be in a happy daze about everything.

Laura felt a swell of protectiveness for them. They’d be lucky if they survived long enough to put out a full LP. Red flags and sirens were flashing in her head. This was a burnout tour. They were going to be worked to death, so to speak, and had no idea.

\--

Later that day, Laura was devouring her third cookie at the tour launch party, stress-eating. In the last year of working at a music industry magazine, she hadn’t yet been able to attend one of these fancy industry parties. She felt out of place, but fortunately didn’t look it. Thank god for her roommate Betty, who helped her pick out an outfit that was appropriate for these sorts of things (it was a _little_ short and a _little_ cropped, but as Betty said, “It’s not _slutty-slutty_ , but it’s slutty enough. It’s good-slutty. Classy-slutty.”).

Non! Anon’s music is blasted from the speakers. She noticed that as soon as their first single started playing, every single member of the band grimaced.

_Hmm…_

She turned to grab another cookie when she felt someone walk up behind her.

“You know, sweetheart, the cookies are for _everyone_ , not just you,” the voice said, condescension in its tone. Laura whipped around.

 _Carmilla_.

Carmilla reached forward, grabbing the cookie from Laura’s hands. She smirked, giving Laura an evaluating look; her eyes traced up Laura’s body. Laura immediately cursed Betty for picking out the dress.

“You look good,” Carmilla acknowledged, almost begrudgingly.

Before Laura could respond, someone called Carmilla back over to the other band members. Carmilla didn’t say a word as she walked away.

Yeah, _that_ was going to be a problem.

Laura marched up to the bar and ordered a glass of wine. It was _fine_. Carmilla was just a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who happened to be interested in women. A beautiful woman who just complimented her. A beautiful woman who she’d be spending an awful lot of time with in close quarters.

But chances of her being _actually_ interested were slim.

See, this was just because she hadn't had a good romantic prospect in a while; hadn’t had sex in even longer. She was just projecting on the first pretty, gay face she happened to see. Which was normal.

So there. It was no big deal.

She threw back her drink in a few big gulps then left the bar to talk to the others. She caught up with LaFontaine first, and they immediately clicked. They were funny and smart and already had ideas for vlogs. She met LaF’s partner, Lola Perry, who was there to support the band, but unfortunately would not be joining them, as she was busy interning at a law firm and studying for her LSAT all summer. Laura was impressed.

Next she spoke to Kirsch, who was a sweetheart - a little dopey, like a puppy who wasn’t the brightest but definitely the sweetest. His brothers were sweet too. Danny was also incredibly friendly. She was intelligent, bold, and charismatic and already had a group of people flocked around her. Her entire family was there as well, and they vaguely reminded her of the family from _Brave_.

Kirsch and Danny were definitely the partiers and both excited for the people that they’d “encounter” on the tour. And that was as far as that went. She half expected the band to be stereotypical musicians - sex, drugs, etc. - but they’re weren’t. They didn’t seem interested in the more lured parts of being a traveling musician.

In fact, getting to know them a little bit more made her even more worried for the tour. They were _so_ naïve. Which was saying something - Laura was the queen of naïvety sometimes...

Laura tried to find the courage to talk to Carmilla, but any time she tried, Carmilla would just give her a patronizing smirk and immediately be pulled away by someone from the record company, usually Will or Mattie.

She finally did get a chance to talk to her at the end of the night, in the restrooms while they both washed their hands.

“So, Carmilla,” Laura said, looking at her through the mirror, “you excited for the tour?”

“Sure am,” she said, apathetically.

“It’s going to be fun.”

“It is.” Carmilla shook off her hands and went to the hand dryer. She waited a moment, as if expecting Laura to continue.

“Hey-”

Carmilla stuck her hands under the dryer, the loud noise interrupting Laura.

She _totally_ did that on purpose. Rude.

Laura pursed her lips and waited for Carmilla to finish. She grabbed some paper towel instead, drying her hands _silently_.

“Anything else to ask, cupcake?” Carmilla asked when her hands were finally dry (it seemed like it took ages).

“Uh...yeah, is anyone from your family here? I’d like to meet them. I met Perry, and Kirsch’s brothers, and Danny’s family -”

“No.” Carmilla’s shoulders squared; Laura could see her defenses go up...

“Oh. It’s just that I thought maybe they’d -” Laura began, feeling embarrassed and a little self-conscious (she found that she was incapable of acting normal around Carmilla; she was an awkward, bumbling mess). Carmilla held up a hand, stopping her.

“I don’t have a family.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Whatever. It’s your job to be nosy, right? Ask questions, get answers. Whatever.”

“Well, I didn’t know… What...happened?” (Oh god, why did she ask that?) “If you don’t mind me asking,” she added quickly.

“Seriously?” Carmilla snapped. “Look, sweetheart, you’re hot, in a tiny Lois Lane kind of way, and you’ll be totally worth having around all summer, _especially_ if you look like _that_ then entire time,” Carmilla’s eyes trailed down her body and back up (Laura resisted the urge to shrink away), “but I can already tell we’re not going to get along. So, how about you mind your own business when it comes to me. The others are into this, _I’m_ not. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave me the hell alone.”

Laura sputtered, not knowing how to respond. With one last glare, Carmilla left.

Laura decided she didn’t like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me at uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com.


	2. Los Angeles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Paparazzi and crappy journalists misgender LaF.

Laura took the next couple of days before leaving for the tour to sort out her notes, prep her equipment, and spend time with her dad. She tried to get over her conversation with Carmilla but she _couldn’t_. Everyone had been excited to have her part of the process _but_ Carmilla.

She wondered what Carmilla was hiding.

She also couldn’t stop thinking about Carmilla’s _obvious_ flirtations. (She mentioned what had happened to Betty, who said it was probably the “perfect precursor to the best hate-sex you’ll ever have.”)

All of this had the opposite effect that Carmilla wanted, probably. Laura was even more curious about her and had resolved to find out more this summer.

Fortunately, she had no worries about the other members - she had actually exchanged numbers with LaFontaine and they’d been texting each other for the past few days. They had a lot in common - they liked the same movies, TV shows, already fan-personed with Laura over Buffy - and had assured her that, _no,_ Carmilla wasn’t like that all the time and _yes_ , she was an asshole to all of them too. But they loved her anyway.

Before she knew it she was at Toronto Pearson Airport, walking through the terminal to her gate. First stop: Los Angeles.

It looked like the band was already there, as evidenced by the group of people surrounding the very tall Danny and Kirsch. Will acknowledged her arrival with a head nod, as Laura took a seat next to him.

“Is it always like this for them?” she asked.

He nodded. “Lately, yeah. A crowd of this size is new though. Maybe I should get them security, but whatever. They can take care of themselves.”

“Hmm,” Laura said. She thought that _maybe_ as their manager he’d take more steps to protect them, but again, he seemed highly apathetic.

She didn’t have time to dwell on that though, as she looked at the information on the screen at the gate. Twenty minutes until boarding. Ugh. She hated flying. Oh god, she hated flying. She’d only flown a handful of times, the first being to her summer vacation when she was twelve to visit her father’s family in Austria. She remembered the turbulence, the crappy food and the general constant feeling that her stomach was going to drop out of her body at any point. This stuck with her.

She was hoping she didn’t appear terrified but knew she wasn’t doing a very good job when LaFontaine plopped down in the seat next to her.

“You okay, Laura?” they asked. The crowd of teenage girls had dispersed, leaving only young boy talking to Carmilla - who was being _quite_ sweet to him.

“Uh, yeah…” she said, unconvincingly. “I just...hate flying.”

A loud laugh got her attention - Carmilla arched an eyebrow at her; she overheard and laughed at her.

Laura scoffed. “It’s a perfectly reasonable-”

“-unreasonable-” Carmilla interrupted, handing over an autographed piece of paper to the the child.

“-phobia!” she seethed.

Carmilla rolled her eyes then ignored her, smiling down at the kid and tousling his hair. She took his mom’s phone and pulled him in for a selfie.

_Oh god._

“Nice meeting you, Ben. Remember, if anyone else picks on you for liking our music, just show them our picture and tell them I’m your friend, okay?” Carmilla gave him one last hug and waved him off.

 _What the hell was that?!_ Laura was in the middle of being _so annoyed_ with Carmilla, but she just _had to_ be sickeningly cute and sweet. Ugh. She was _the worst!_

LaFontaine nudged her. “She’s disgustingly adorable with kids, isn’t she?” They grinned.

“Whatever.”

\--

The flight was awful. There wasn’t turbulence or anything like that; just any flight was a terrible flight as far as Laura was concerned. She was forced to sit in coach while the others were up in business class. Which was _fine_ , but she traveled better when she had someone to freak out to. The man sitting next to her didn’t seem receptive to being her flight buddy, so she had to freak out in silence.

Halfway through the five and a half hours, a flight attendant came by. He leaned forward, all conspiratorially, which concerned Laura. She leaned forward as well, looking both ways, totally expecting (completely reasonably) that the flight attendant was going to tell her the plane was going to crash and it was totally up to Laura to save everyone...

The attendant handed her a cookie, wrapped in a napkin and said, “A member of Non! Anon wanted me to pass this along to you…”

“Oh!” Laura opened up the napkin and took the cookie out. “Thanks!”

“Do you know them?”

“Yeah! I guess I’m part of their entourage,” she figured. “Can you let whoever gave it to me I say thanks? Was it LaF?”

“No, it was the brunette woman...Carmilla? I’ll let her know.”

 _“...that was unexpected_ ,” Laura thought to herself. She inspected the cookie for anything out of the ordinary, but no, it was just a regular chocolate chip cookie. She took a bite and held back a moan. Damn, that was a quality cookie. There was a note written in swooping cursive on the back of the napkin. _‘Enjoy, cutie.’_

Okay. So it was clearly from Carmilla.

And it wasn’t spat on, or poisoned, and it was actually pretty tasty.

Well, okay then...

The rest of her flight was better.

\--

Los Angeles was overwhelming. It was hot, the air was thick, everyone seemed _everywhere_ , if that made any sense. Cars _everywhere_. People everywhere. Fans everywhere, it seemed, as the band found out when they landed and left the terminal to get their bags. Paparazzi were everywhere too, as they left the building.

_“Hey, Kirsch! What’s it like being surrounded by girls all the time?”_

_“LaFontaine, what do you think about everyone calling you a one-hit wonder?”_

_“Danny, are you are a natural redhead?”_

_“Hey, Carmilla, can we get a smile? Who’s the girl? Is she your girlfriend?”_

Laura realized they were talking about _her_ , and well, that was awkward.

No one said a word - having been prepped by their record company on this, they all just gave tight, uncomfortable smiles and waves and continued onto their van.

They were immediately whisked straight to the hotel. On the drive, everyone chatted excitedly about their first show, the fans who waited for them at the airport, how awkward it was to have paparazzi there as well.

Laura tried to thank Carmilla for the cookie when they got to the (very swanky) hotel, but Carmilla refused to take her headphones off and pointedly ignored her. But that was okay, she’d thank her eventually. Her father didn’t raise an impolite person.

They were all given their room cards, all on the same floor. But their rooms are all separated; Carmilla, Laura, and Danny found themselves walking down the hallway to their rooms together.

“How was coach, Laura? Sorry you couldn’t be up there with us, Carmilla mentioned you weren’t a great flyer,” Danny said, dragging her luggage behind her.

Laura raised her eyebrows. “Did she now?” Carmilla’s music blasted from her headphones.

“She did. Also, don’t let her bother you, she’s _kind of a jerk_.” Danny raised her voice for the last part of that sentence, shoving Carmilla a little.

“What?” Carmilla asked, bored with them. She took off her headphones.

Danny stopped in front of her room. “Nothing. Just be nice to Laura, Carmilla. See you guys in a bit!”

Carmilla continued forward, her luggage dragging behind her. “You coming, cupcake?”

Danny shrugged. “Sorry about her.”

“It’s fine,” Laura said. With one last smile at Danny, she followed Carmilla down the hall.

“Carm, wait up!” Laura said, running forward. Carmilla stood in front of her hotel room door - it was next to Laura’s. “Oh look, we’re basically roommates.”

“Hmm.”

“Um, so I just wanted to thank you for the cookie,” Laura started. Carmilla crossed her arms and nodded at her to continue. “It...it was really nice of you and it helped the crappy flight be less...crappy.”

“Whatever. Don’t mention it. Are we done here?”

“Uh, yeah…”

Carmilla was behind the door in a second.

Yeah. She still didn’t really like her.

\--

Later that night the band had their first show.

The band came _alive_ on stage and the crowd _loved them_. They were high energy and sang along to every word. However Laura felt about their music (which was certainly growing on her), she couldn’t deny it: they were _talented_. They sounded better than they did recorded. Freer. For the first time, Laura could see why the record company was pushing for them. They had the potential to be _huge_.

(They just needed to fire whoever was behind their musical decisions.)

LaF as their frontperson was charming and funny. Their banter with the crowd was easy. Danny was great too, funny and engaging; Kirsch wasn’t mic’d but when he did get up from behind the drums, the crowd loved him. Carmilla was the most reserved, not saying much, but it was clear the crowd _loved_ her _._ The band couldn’t stop smiling, which was infectious.

Carmilla even winked at her from on stage and Laura couldn’t stop the blush from crawling up her cheeks.

Back in the hotel room, Laura reviewed the footage she took of their show for their vlogs. She realized that 90% of it was just Carmilla. Close-ups of her face. Her hands playing the guitar. For the one song where she and Danny switched instruments and she played bass, she didn’t get _any_ of the other members at all.

Well, shit.

She put in the Dropbox anyway. She knew Natalie was going to tease her about it once she got the files the next day but whatever. It was still good footage.

\--

She woke up to three texts from Natalie:

“Just got into the office, hope your first day went well!”

“I could draw Carmilla from memory at this point.”

“Please remember there are other people in the band next time. :P”

\--

The next day was _fascinating_ from a purely anthropological standpoint. The band was set-up in a meeting room in the hotel for the full day. A revolving door of interviewers came in to ask them questions about the tour, the band, and their album. It was a glimpse into the Hollywood machine. People who had no business interviewing the band - people who _clearly_ had no interest, didn’t do their research, probably weren’t journalists, were asking asinine, _awful_ questions…

And the band looked _so uncomfortable_.

Laura felt bad for them, especially after getting the eleventh, “Tell me about your new single?”. The eighth smarmy interviewer who asked Carmilla if she had any “special gal pals” was on the receiving end of a well-deserved glare from all the members. The members took turns defending one another any time someone made an offensive sexuality or gender joke.

It was exhausting for Laura to have been part of that process. It was a master class in what _not_ to do as a journalist but she was really impressed with how the band dealt with everything. Overall, the band was pretty gracious towards everyone, especially considering the circumstances, but she could tell it was hard for all of them. Especially Carmilla, who by the end of the interviews, barely responded. She came across as rude, but Laura couldn’t blame her.

The corporate gig at some bank’s headquarters was almost as awkward. They were shown around the corporation’s office like a prized pony, made to pose with people they didn’t know, and then had to pose with a new line of credit cards. When they performed their short acoustic set, no one paid them any attention.

After the gig, the band seem disheartened; Laura felt the same. It was a soulless day, exhausting for all of them. Of course, Will had to share his stupid thoughts on it.

“What the hell was that?” he scolded when he got into the van and shut the door. The driver pulled away from the building, to where their tour bus was waiting.

Will continued. “It’s like you guys don’t even care; these people are paying us a lot of money to have your sorry asses come and play for them, and you could barely crack a smile.”

Carmilla tensed next to her. Laura put her hand on her knee, by reflex, trying to calm her. It worked, slightly, as Carmilla’s shoulders dropped a little.

“Why are we even wasting our time with you guys, do you have any idea how many people would _kill_ to be in your position?”

“Will, _stop_ ,” Laura spoke up, looking at everyone’s expressions. They looked like kicked puppies. “I thought they did an incredible job today. You guys were amazing, considering how soulless everything was.”

“No one asked you what you think.” He sneered. “You’re not their manager, _blogger_.”

“Shut the fuck up, Will,” Carmilla said, putting her hand on Laura’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “It’s been a long fucking day so just...just shut the fuck up.”

“Whatever you have to say, just email it to us,” Danny added, tiredly. “We’re going to ignore you either way.”

Will glared at all of them and pulled out his phone in a huff, pointedly ignoring them like a child.

In the seats in front of her, LaF rested their head on Kirsch’s shoulder; Danny linked arms with LaF. Next to her, Carmilla took her hand off Laura’s. Laura shyly let go of her knee. She smiled at her, sheepishly, but Carmilla just looked away. A hint of a blush coloured Carmilla’s cheeks.

For the first time in a long time, Laura felt like part of a team.

\--

The group’s next show was in San Jose, so they went straight from the van to the bus. It was going to be their first overnight trip, but when they got there, they had the day off.

Getting to the bus was exciting for everyone, lifting their spirits a little after what Will said. It was like a hotel on wheels; Laura had never seen anything like this. It wasn’t as big as the _Spice Bus_ , but it barely felt like a bus.

They met their bus driver, a gruff and quiet woman named Amy, then were given a quick tour - the front room was the ‘living room/kitchen’, the middle area was where their bunks were, and the back area was where Will set-up camp. Everyone exhaustedly went to choose bunks, claiming ones as they went.

Laura chose a bunk closest to the door to the front and dropped her bag in.

“Well, cupcake. I’m going to be sleeping just a few feet away from you. Try to keep your hands to yourself, okay?” Carmilla teased, winking. She threw her backpack into the bunk across from hers then went in after it. “Night everyone,” Carmilla added to the band, before shutting the drapes.

The others snickered. Laura cursed her complexion as she felt heat rise up her cheeks. She quickly opened her bag and grabbed her pajamas, going to the tiny washroom to change.

\--

The constant feeling of wheels on concrete kept Laura up. A bunk bed on wheels. She could hear loud snores from someone else’s bunk – she wasn’t sure who’s bunk it was coming from, but it wasn’t pleasant. She gave herself five more minutes. If she couldn’t fall back asleep, she’d just grab her book and get up...

She lasted about thirty seconds before (as quietly as she could) slipping out of her bunk. She slid the door open between the two rooms and saw Carmilla, awake too.

“Hey. Can’t sleep?”

“No, I’m actually asleep right now, you’re just dreaming of me,” Carmilla said, not looking up from the notebook she was writing in. “Not that I blame you; you’re not the first girl to fantasize about me. Should I get naked now or...”

“Ha- _ha_ , Carmilla.” Laura glared, settling in the couch across from her. “I’m just going to read my book.”

“Mmm.” Carmilla grunted in response.

An hour or so passed of complete silence between the two. Laura tried to read the words on the page, but was finding Carmilla’s mere presence to be distracting. Sometimes Carmilla would tap a beat with her fingers or hum a melody under her breath. From what she was hearing, it was beautiful.

When she wasn’t doing that, she was furiously writing in her journal. From what Laura could see, Carmilla was writing music – lyrics, full tablature, chords, and the occasional scribbled in staff notation. She’d occasionally stop and lift up her hand, sliding fingers over an invisible fretboard, picking invisible strings with her other hand.

Eventually Laura got tired – tired of pretending to be reading when all she wanted to do was watch Carmilla write, a process she’d never seen a musician go through, a process that she felt was entirely private and she was honoured to be somewhat privy to. She unabashedly stared. If Carmilla noticed, she didn’t say anything.

After a while, she couldn’t keep stifling her yawn. She got up and said goodnight to Carmilla, who said nothing back.

\--

“Good morning, Laura,” LaFontaine greeted. Laura, still bleary-eyed from a night of little sleep, mumbled a hello. She was still in her pajamas, but LaF was in their sleep clothes too. They were holding a guitar, going over what looked like Carmilla’s book from the night before.

Laura stifled a yawn and sat in the seat across from theirs at the table.

“I take it you didn’t sleep very well,” they asked. “Want some?” They nudged their cup of coffee towards her, before playing a riff and a few chords from the page. It sounded just like what Carmilla hummed.

(She was impressed. No, that was an understatement, she was blown away; it sounded beautiful. She suddenly felt a strange longing for Carmilla’s music to be heard, rather than the covers on their EP.)

“Nah, I don’t drink coffee. I’ll get a hot cocoa or something when we get there.”

“Which is now. Welcome to San Jose, Laura,” they said, gesturing outside. Laura looked out the window and was met with her view; a brick wall on one side, and a concrete wall on the other. “Yeah, I know. Trust me though, we’re here. Amy told me.”

“I guess being a touring musician doesn’t necessarily mean you get to be a tourist as well,” Laura ventured.

LaF shrugged. “It could be worse. I could be back in Mississauga, living with my parents, sneaking Carmilla in through the basement so she’d have a place to stay that wasn’t sketchy.”

Laura’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re going to have to explain that to me.”

LaF laughed, a little sadly. “No can do – not really my story to tell to _The Society_. But I’d totally be into being interviewed or doing a vlog or whatever while we wait for everyone to wake up?”

//

_Notes: Hey Sarah Jane, here’s a transcript of my vlog with LaF with some notes on how I’d like it edited. Let me know if you have any questions!_

Me: Hi everyone! I’m Laura Hollis from _The Society_ and I’m here to be your guide Non! Anon while they’re on tour! We’ve been given an exclusive backstage pass and we're sharing all the perks with you.

_< <cut to fancy Non! Anon tour video intro - J.P. should have the file, we finished it last night>>_

Me: I’m with Non! Anon’s LaFontaine on the band’s tour bus. Say hello, LaF!

LaFontaine: Hey!

Me: So, LaF, tell us about the band.

LaFontaine: I’m LaFontaine, _< <overlay footage of LaF playing>>_ I sing, I play rhythm guitar. There’s Danny _< <overlay footage of Danny playing>>_ who switches between lead guitar and bass, depending on the song, really, but lately she’s on bass. Carmilla’s the same. _< <overlay footage of Carmilla playing>>_ She usually plays bass but she’s currently our lead guitarist. They’re both ridiculously talented on both instruments and really competitive at being better than the other on their instruments. _< <cut back to LaFontaine and I on the bus>>_ There’s a story behind that, but get Danny or Carmilla to tell you about it. And last but not least, there’s Kirsch - _< <overlay footage of Kirsch playing>>_ he’s our drummer, our dude, and our hetero.

_< <cut back to LaFontaine and I on the bus again>>_

Me: Cool! So how’d you guys meet?

LaFontaine: I’ve known Carmilla since we were teenagers and we bonded over our love of music. _< <overlay more footage from the show – _yes, Sarah Jane, I know, there’s a lot of Carmilla _> >_  I went to university with Danny. Kirsch and Danny have been in bands with each other since they were kids. Carmilla and I saw Danny and Kirsch at one of their old band’s gigs and they were pretty bad, but those two were great. So we stole them! And the rest, I guess, is history.  

_< <cut back to LaFontaine and I on the bus>>_

Me: Now, explain the name to us...

LaFontaine: Non!Anon references us - we’re all out there, we’re proud of who we are, we’re not anonymous. It also is a throw to Tumblr culture, and having Anon asks and stuff. Kirsch wanted our name to have an exclamation mark in it, and Carmilla didn’t, so they played Rock Paper Scissors and Kirsch won.

Me: It’s a great name, LaF! _< < Note: I know, I know, I sound sarcastic here but I couldn’t help it! >>_ So we’ve just started the tour – how do you feel?

LaFontaine: I’m excited to play in front of people every night. Meet everybody on the road. And hang out with the others, they're like my family. I mean, I miss people from home, my partner Perry, but this is really cool. It’s a huge opportunity and we’re stoked. We’ve only done one show but it was incredible.

Me: Awesome! And do you have any final words for your fans before we sign off?

LaFontaine: Yeah! I hope to see all of you this summer. We’re going to have a lot of fun. And thanks to our sponsor, uh -

Me: The Alchemy Club & Steakhouse! With over 40 locations across North America, there’s one near you! << _overlay their logo >>_

LaFontaine: Yeah thanks to The Alchemy Club & Steakhouse for their support and uh, food?

_< <cut back to LaFontaine and I on the bus>>_

Me: Alright! Well, I’m Laura Hollis with LaFontaine from Non! Anon. Talk to you guys later! Follow us on Twitter and Tumblr - links are in the description below!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me at uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com. I'm also tracking ~~Carmilla Tour AU~~ Carmilla BLAH AU on Tumblr. I did not realize this was BLAH AU until just now. HA.


	3. San Jose to Seattle to Vancouver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my betas, [platypiandi](http://platypiandi.tumblr.com/) and my wife!

San Jose was amazing. The crowd, like LA, was energetic and loud - but this time there were lots of marriage proposals yelled out, signs with declarations of love for each member, bras thrown on stage. Even a couple sets of boxers thrown up for Kirsch (which he appreciated, when he realized they were unused _and_ his size).

It was hilarious; even Carmilla blushed.

(That night the footage of the band was about 85% Carmilla and 15% the rest of the band, so Laura was at least getting better.)

Everyone stayed up a little later that night on the bus, talking excitedly about the show, the crowd, the fans. Even Will had some positive things to say, which, based on the band’s reaction, must’ve been uncommon.

One by one, they went to their bunks to sleep until it was just Laura and Carmilla sitting in the front room. Laura tried again to make small talk; again, Carmilla wasn’t too interested.

“What are you writing?”

“Stuff.” Carmilla continued to scribble in her book; this time it looked like another song.

“Well, obviously; but what for?” Laura asked.

“The band.”

“But I thought you didn’t write anymore-“ Laura began; Carmilla held her hand up, stopping her, before continuing to ignore her.

Laura glared then went back to her notes.

\--

They continued the next day on the road. They were given a few hours in Eugene, Oregon to stretch their legs, on the way to Seattle.

Laura spent that time with LaFontaine and Kirsch; the three wandered around, eventually ending up at a coffee shop. Carmilla declined joining them and Danny decided to stay with her – something about getting Carmilla to help her with a bass line she was finding difficult.

Laura noticed LaF and Kirsch getting a couple looks of vague recognition from some people in the café, which was really cool. A few teenagers approached them for autographs and pictures. Laura felt a sense of importance hanging out with them. It was pretty cool to have cool...colleagues? Friends?

“So tell us about yourself, Laura – we don’t really know much about you,” Kirsch said. She felt a kindred spirit in him as he added a dangerous amount of sugar to his cup of coffee.

“We should probably find out if you’re a serial killer or something, y’know, if we’re going to be stuck in a moving tuna can with you all summer,” LaFontaine added.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

Laura answered their questions – which ranged from normal (“Where are you from?” “Hamilton! Went to university in Toronto, then interned at an English-language newspaper in Austria, then moved back to Toronto.”), to personal (“Did you leave anyone behind back in Toronto? A boyfriend?” “Nope – no _girlfriends_ for me.”), to strange (“If you had to date a supernatural creature, what would it be?” “...uh...a vampire?”).

When the three got back to their bus and Danny was watching television in the front room (“Carmilla’s taking a nap and Will went on another top secret conference call or whatever in the back,” Danny explained).

Laura, Kirsch, LaFontaine and Danny spent the remaining few hours on the road talking – pretty candidly too. Laura mostly just sat back and listened. The three band members talked about the music they were making now and how it wasn’t really what they had in mind for their careers, but they had no choice. They didn’t get to choose their producers. Carmilla was told she had to write with a lot of different pop songwriters. The meetings went poorly, so when she refused, the record company pushed the covers on them.

It was hard for all of them, but Carmilla took a lot of ownership of the band; she was their songwriter. They didn’t want to force her to do anything she didn’t want to do - like any of them could even try, really.

There was a lot of sacrificing to be made to be in the music industry, something they were learning quickly. But they were all grateful, each of them had repeated, almost as if they needed to remind themselves.

Speaking of Carmilla, the more Laura got to know of the others, the more she was confused by her. They all seemed unaffected by her broodiness - even seemed to enjoy it - and it was clear that they all really respected her. She wanted to understand _why_ – ‘cause she really didn’t see it.

Thinking back though, she’d see glimpses of Carmilla’s warmth. She’d see it with how she joked with Kirsch, worked with Danny, teased LaFontaine. But this kindness was never really extended to Laura. Except for the cookie sharing, but Laura wasn’t holding her breath for a repeat of that.

When they arrived at Seattle, Laura made the mistake of asking Will about it – saying she needed to speak to Carmilla for the article. She immediately regretted it; he rolled his eyes, grabbed his phone, texting Carmilla to meet Laura after soundcheck. Which Carmilla did, Will made sure of it. And she seemed pissed. The little bit that Laura managed to get out of was unusable. She didn’t answer questions regarding her past and the creation of the band. Was rude when asked about their music. She was cold and standoffish.

Laura might’ve been able to salvage the interview if Will wasn’t sitting there, glaring at Carmilla the entire time.

After their “interview”, Laura filmed part of their meet and greet. Again, Laura was going to get whiplash. The less she understood about Carmilla, the more intriguing she became. To her (and Will and basically anyone who held a position of authority over her career), Carmilla was rude. Surly. Defensive. Combative.

But with the band and a handful of (very excited) fans, she was still quiet, but she was never disrespectful to them. She was the first to offer an autograph or a hug and the last member of the group to leave the room.

She was the same way later on stage. She looked _happy_. She was stunningly beautiful and reserved and mysterious (well, all the time), but that was kind of her charm.

Carmilla was a mystery. And Laura had to find out more.

(The first half of the footage Laura filmed was pretty equally distributed between the band. The last half though, was pathetically Carmilla-centered. But she had a _good_ reason. Laura was pretty sure Carmilla winked at her during one of their songs. So she was distracted, trying to catch her doing it again...

...yeah, she really needed to pull herself together.)  

\---

The next day they played an afternoon gig. This time it was at a politician's mansion. Laura was not permitted to film or report on any part of this, but the band insisted she come.

Laura immediately knew this was not going to be a comfortable time for them, and it was proven when Will introduced them to Governor Hackman, who Laura recognized as a prominent Republican. The crowd awkwardly tried to seem like they weren’t completely bewildered by these queer kids and their mohawked/mulletted drummer.

To say she was uncomfortable for the band was an understatement.

Carmilla, oddly enough, shined. LaFontaine and her must’ve had a discussion prior to going on stage, because Carmilla took the lead. And Carmilla didn’t give _a fuck_. She made it known to all of them who she was and who the band was.

“Hey everyone, thanks for having us. I’d like to thank Governor Hackman for having us here,” Carmilla said, sliding her fingers down her guitar. “We’re not used to playing for such a, ahem, reserved crowd, but we definitely appreciate your smiles and applause, right guys?” She turned to the other members, who politely nodded.

“I must say, before we get into our last song, we never thought we’d be in this position to perform for the Republican Party of the United States. First of all, we’re Canadian,” awkward laughter flitted through the crowd, “Second, we’re a super gay band,” aaaaand silence, “Third, well, I think points one and two just about covers it.” Carmilla laughed to herself - the band looked at her in stunned but awed silence, and Laura was sure her expression matched theirs. Will, on the other hand, was about to blow a gasket.

“But again, thank you for having us. For our last song, I'd like to dedicate it to my stepmother," she said, letting her voice soften sweetly. She sighed for dramatic effect and the crowd seemed to perk up, anticipating a sweet moment. "I wonder what my super conservative mother would think about me playing this, an original song and _not_ a shitty cover, which I wrote about male entitlement and the fleeting nature of sexual attraction and pleasure. Enjoy!”

The gasps made Laura beam as the band seamlessly dove into their last song.

Laura didn’t even bother covering her laugh. She unabashedly danced to the _very_ clever and _really good_ song, even earning a high five from Danny, who leaned down from the stage.

Yeah, _that_ was a pretty cool moment. She could definitely acknowledge that Carmilla’s fearlessness was admirable, as LaFontaine belted out the chorus ( _"You sold me some cheap ecstasy, so you could have some sex with me. But I don't want your body, I don't want your body.”_ ) one last time.

On their way out of the mansion, after an uncomfortable goodbye to the Governor and a few heckles from the crowd, Carmilla and LaFontaine were pulled aside by a teenager – one of the few in the crowd.

Laura didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she did catch a bit of Carmilla telling her: “LaF’s right. I don’t exactly have a supportive family either but honestly? Fuck them. I’m happy now; I’m myself. But I had to go through a lot of shit to get here. When you know it’s the right time to take control of your life, the people who are standing in your way can fuck off.”

Laura felt her heart beat a little harder at Carmilla’s words. It was the kind of thing a lot of young people needed to hear - hell, the kind of thing _she_ needed to hear sometimes.

She wasn’t able to hear anything else of what they said, but based on the girl’s face when they left - the girl reluctantly letting go of Carmilla’s hug and quickly wiping away the tears that had fallen - it made an impact.

As they sat in the van waiting for Will to give them hell, the band seemed a little frazzled, not sure how to take what happened. Laura looked at each of their faces - LaFontaine’s, Danny’s and Kirsch’s in the row behind them, Carmilla’s next to her in the middle. On the one hand, they looked disheartened. Another awful gig. On the other hand, Laura hoped they felt proud - they really ‘stuck it to the man’ and Laura admired that.

“You guys,” she started, taking a deep breath, “you guys were incredible tonight. And I’m so proud of you. Like, this was... _so weird_ \- surreal almost. And I’m sorry you all had to do this. But you guys were just...perfect. I mean, not for that crowd, but for yourselves. So...congratulations!” she gushed, just before Will climbed in and slammed the door.

“You guys are assholes,” Will said with a grumble. “Expect an email.” The others snickered as the van pulled away.

Laura dropped her hand onto the seat next to her, accidentally brushing her pinkie over Carmilla’s. As she pulled away, Carmilla fixed her hand over hers, and gave it a squeeze, before letting go. Laura shyly looked over and, yeah - there went her ability to breathe. Carmilla smiled - it was _beautiful_ and Laura couldn’t believe she was on the receiving end of something so truly _genuine_ , that she caused this…

...she looked away quickly, feeling herself flush.

 _No_. No. _Stop that._ As amazing as Carmilla was tonight, as pretty as she always was, that didn’t change the fact that she was a huge bad person to her for no reason.

Laura looked out the window, willing her heartbeat to slow down. When it finally did she looked next to her; Carmilla was busy playing Kwazy Cupcakes on her phone.

When they arrived at the arena, where their tour bus was waiting for them, everyone clamoured out of the van. Laura still wanted to tell Carmilla how much she appreciated what she had told their fan, so she used this opportunity to speak to Carmilla privately.

“Hey, wait a second,” Laura started, grabbing her elbow and stopping her from climbing up the bus steps.

“How can I help you, cupcake?” Carmilla asked. Instead of her usual response to Laura talking - barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes - her expression was soft.

“I...I liked what you said – I overheard what you told the girl after your show. It was the kind of advice that I wish I got when I was a teenager too.”

A flash of realization crossed Carmilla’s face. “You’re...”

“Gay? _Very_ ,” Laura said, with a little laugh. It was kind of hilarious how Carmilla had no idea.

“Seriously?” Carmilla asked, not keeping the surprise from her expression.

Laura giggled. “You really didn’t know?”

Carmilla shrugged. “Well, cutie...I guess my gaydar needs work.” She smiled a little.

“I guess so.”

“Hmm.” Carmilla’s smile changed, going from soft to sexy. Laura gulped. “That’ll make the next few weeks even _more_ interesting, won’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

A breeze blew through, causing a strand of hair to fall from her ponytail. Carmilla reached up, gently stroking it behind her ear, her fingers lingering on Laura’s cheek.

“You two,” Will barked, stepping out of the bus. Laura quickly moved away and Carmilla’s hand snapped back. “Get on the bus, we have to go.”

Carmilla gave Laura a tight smile and nod; Laura could see her walls go back up. She sighed and followed her up the steps, the doors swinging shut behind her.

\--

Fatigue was now an annoying constant – Laura was not traveling well on the bus, and hadn’t had a full night of sleep on it. She was looking forward to the next hotel stay; she was longing for a real, stationary bed. She was fantasizing about comfy pillows, a hot shower (with reasonable water pressure). Silence; not having a person within three feet of her at all times. Being able to starfish on a bed, like she did at home.

But on the bus, there was one positive: spending time with Carmilla, alone, every night. Well, no, Amy was always close by, but she was driving and couldn’t ever really hear them. Not that they ever even spoke.

But maybe tonight...things might be different?

They had a moment. They totally had a moment, right?

She got up, ready to make her way out to the front, where Carmilla likely was, when she spotted light coming from LaF’s bunk. Hmm...LaF could be a great equalizer. They could help Carmilla open up...

She gently knocked against the side of the bed and LaF opened the curtain.

“Hey,” they whispered, eyebrows furrowed. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just saw you were up, wanted to know if you wanted to hang with me? Carmilla’s in the front and she’s not much for company,” she said.

“No, I guess she isn’t.” They put their phone on the pillow next to their head and turned to face her. “She’s already warming up to you though."

“Oh?” she said, a little louder than she meant to. She cleared her throat, ignoring their raised eyebrows. “I don’t know about that…Anyway, how about we binge watch season one of Buffy?”

“No can do – I’m just finishing up an email to Per, then I’m going to try to sleep again. It…really sucks being without her,” they said, frowning a little. They cleared their throat, changing the subject. “Look, don’t worry about Carmilla.”

“Easy for you to say...”

“Seriously – she’s like this with strangers at first. She’ll get over it.”

“...I guess. I mean, she isn’t all _that_ bad. I see her with you guys. She’s funny and sarcastic and she’s kind of sweet to you, and to Kirsch and Danny she’s like the annoyed but loving big sister. And when she’s on stage, she’s _so_ engaged and great with the crowd and she _smiles_ , which is not at all broody or menacing and actually kind of lovely...”

LaF stared at her for a beat before a grin spread across their face.

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t know, crushes-on-guitarists,” they teased.

“What? No, I don’t...”

“Whatever, Laura. You’re not the first girl to fall for her ‘lovely smile’.” Their eyebrows wiggled.

Laura blushed – thanking god that everyone else was sleeping and that LaF probably couldn’t see her face redden in the dark.

“Good night LaFontaine,” Laura said, embarrassedly shutting the curtains. She could hear their snickers from within their bunk.

Ugh. Rude.

Laura climbed back onto her bunk, deciding to _not_ go into the main room, as if to prove that she _didn’t_ have a crush on Carmilla. Not _prove_ \- she didn’t have to prove anything.

She did _not_ have feelings for Carmilla. Please. She barely tolerated her. She just wanted to get to know her better. They had a moment, but it was a friendship moment. A moment of toleration. That's all.

Laura eventually did fall asleep, unconsciously resting her hand on her cheek, the memory of Carmilla’s hand lingering earlier still playing on her mind.

\---

The next morning everyone was immediately checked into their hotel. It was nice to be standing still and _truly_ be still for once. Laura could still feel the sensation of being in a moving vehicle on her legs. It was something to get used to, after just a week on the road.

Just one week – it’s been an exciting week, but she had five more to go.

She plopped down on the bed and pulled out her phone. She scrolled past a few emails, ignoring all of them, then checked her Twitter account. She gasped.

Laura’s minor social media presence had basically quadrupled since her first video for the band came out. Outside of the thousands of screaming fans at shows every night, now she was really getting a sense of how big they were, in the thousands of people now following her. She looked at her notifications - there were hundreds, a few of them angry that she got to hang out with the band, but even more that were supportive and kind.

Wow.

She went back into her email and opened up the most recent one from her editor. _The Society_ was happy – they were getting a ton of attention and lots of advertising revenue from their YouTube channel. The band’s record company was also happy with Laura’s portrayal of the band so far.

Laura just finished submitting her final draft for her latest blog about the band for Mattie’s approval when she heard a knock on the door. She got up to check through the peephole.

LaFontaine’s face was on the other side.

“Hey,” they said, when she opened the door. “I wanted to go check out this record store nearby, wanna come?”

Laura looked back at the laptop on her bed, and while it was awfully tempting to say no and curl up under the covers, she’d never been to Vancouver before. LaF grinned and leaned against the doorframe.

“Come on, the broody-yet-lovely Carmilla will be joining us. She’s already downstairs waiting.”

“I said her _smile_ was lovely, not that _she_ was lovely-“ Laura stopped herself as LaFontaine’s grin grew wider; she didn’t know why she even bothered. She grabbed her purse and room key and followed LaF to the elevators.

And she had a great time. Sure, LaFontaine did most of the talking during their short trip to the record store. But Laura did find out a few things about Carmilla as she walked down the aisles, Carmilla trailing closely behind, as if evaluating the records she was looking at.

  1. She and Carmilla had really similar taste in music, which Laura was pretty proud about considering how much of a snob Carmilla seemed about LaFontaine’s taste (“Hey, so you won’t mock Laura for liking Roxette, but you’ll mock me for liking Ace of Base?!”).
  2. Carmilla was really funny, especially with her commentary about the stack of records LaF had amassed. 
  3. Even in the florescent lights of the really grungy record store, Carmilla was _beautiful_



The trip was shortened only because a few too many fans recognized the two members and they were kicked out.

And, as LaFontaine sneakily led them away from a particularly rowdy group of fans, Laura learned one more, _very_ important detail about Carmilla:

Her hand felt incredible in hers.

//

_Notes: Hey Sarah Jane, here’s a transcript of my vlog with Kirsch! The files are in Dropbox and I tried to be more specific about the shots I wanted. Again, let me know if you have any questions!_

Me: Hi everyone! Laura here from _The Society_ and I’m here with your official look into Non! Anon.

_< <cut to fancy Non! Anon tour video intro>>_

Me: Everyone knows who this guy is - want to introduce yourself anyway?

Kirsch: Hey everyone. I’m Kirsch! I’m Non! Anon's drummer.

Me: Welcome to the channel, Kirsch.

Kirsch: Thanks tiny Laura! _< <You could totally cut that part out, SJ>>_

Me: Well, Kirsch here wanted to actually talk about working with the others in Non! Anon.

Kirsch: Yeah! I get a lot of questions, usually from bros, about like, what’s it’s like to work with a bunch of non-bros all the time. And I wanted to talk about that.

Me: Great! Wanted to start with anything in particular?

Kirsch: Oh, right! Yeah. A big question that I get is about our personal lives, which is totally something I get people are curious about. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. What I wanna talk about is how everyone’s really awesome, and I’m super proud to be part of this family.

_< <overlay footage - MV_0254.avi - Kirsch and LaFontaine throwing food into each other’s mouths>>_

Kirsch (continued): They’re my family. LaF, Danny, and Carmilla - they’re like my siblings, and it really bums me out that they’re treated differently ‘cause they’re brave enough to be who they are.

_< <overlay footage - MV_0736.avi - Kirsch and Danny arm wrestling>>_

Kirsch (continued): Like, they’re totally able to protect themselves, but I get really protective when people are gross about them. But like, they could totally kick anyone’s ass. And like, they also teach me how to dress and what to do to not be as sweaty, ‘cause apparently I smell bad a lot.

_< <overlay footage - MV_0433.avi - Kirsch and Carmilla, Carmilla’s sitting at his kit and she’s teaching him the rhythm section>>_

Kirsch (continued): And I’m so glad they let me be in their band, ‘cause I’m like Ringo, I’m not even the best drummer here. But I’m trying, and Carmilla’s been teaching me.

<< _cut back to Kirsch and I on the bus >>_

Kirsch: They’ve made me a better guy for any future girlfriends I may have.  And they’ve taught me so much about like, feminism and stuff, ‘cause it turns out, I’m a total feminist, y’know? So yeah. I just wanted everyone to know that. We’re a family in Non! Anon.

<< _Note: HOW ADORABLE IS KIRSCH, SJ?! >>_

Me: Thanks so much for sharing all this, Kirsch. I mean, I see the tweets, I see the comments. People can be pretty curious about how all of you work together. And I don’t think people realize that yes, you’re all in a band together, but you’re a family first.

Kirsch: Exactly.

<< _overlay Zeta Omega Moo Dairy, ugh I hate how we have to do this, it really ruins the tone >>_

Me: Shout-out to Zeta Omega Moo Dairy. Kirsch, don’t you love their cheese?

Kirsch: Yeah! Totally! Go...Zeta Omega Moo!

_< <cut back to Kirsch and I on the bus>>_

Me: Well, thanks again, Kirsch. This has been great. I’m Laura Hollis with Kirsch from Non! Anon. Talk to you guys later! Find us both on Twitter and Tumblr - links are in the description below!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song they play at the gig is [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgocyn8Jw-E). Find me on Tumblr [here.](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com)


	4. Vancouver to Banff

“Good to see you again, Laura.”

Laura smiled - grimaced, probably more accurately - and accepted Mattie’s outstretched hand, backstage at Rogers Arena. The band were currently soundchecking and Laura was called in for a surprise meeting about the progress of her work with Non! Anon. She and Mattie sat in the band’s green room, surrounded by boxes of Choco Crunch, cans of grape soda, and a very fancy Zeta Omega Moo cheese platter, the main requests on the band’s rider.

“Hello again, Ms. Belmonde.”

“Mattie, sweetheart. None of these formalities anymore - agreed?” Her words were friendly, but Laura was not a fool - whatever she was going to call her, it better be respectfully.

Mattie wanted to review The Society’s ad revenue documentation and stats - fortunately, Laura was able to provide a Jane Cochrane-sanctioned version of the document, that had a few omissions (Cochrane didn’t want Glittering Diamond to renegotiate the payment terms. She thought they might if they saw how popular their videos were getting).

As Mattie flipped through the pages, Carmilla reentered the room. Her skin glistened with sweat - something Laura admired about Carmilla was that she gave her all, even during soundchecks. Carmilla grabbed a towel and patted her forehead with it, her eyes darting between the two women. She gave Mattie a nod of acknowledgement then winked at Laura before sauntering out the room, the towel over her shoulder.

Laura couldn’t help but admire the view of Carmilla’s retreating backside…

“Well, well, well. What’s going on there, _Laura_?” Mattie grinned, like it was the juiciest gossip she’d heard in years.

“Uh, nothing,” Laura said, clearing her throat. “Anyway, I have the website stats for you here-”

“-My dear, Carmilla does not smile at _anyone_.”

It was suddenly really hot in the room. Someone must’ve turned up the heat, she’d have to look into that after the meeting.

“She smiled at you too,” Laura countered.

“I co-sign her paycheques.”

“...can we get back to the meeting? Like I said, I have the website stats,” Laura said, a little petulantly, but this was feeling _incredibly_ unprofessional and Mattie was making her uncomfortable.

Mattie laughed. “I like you, you’re ambitious and spunky. I can see why Carmilla likes-”

“-she doesn’t like me.” Laura crossed her arms, with a huff, sitting back.

“Fine,” Mattie said, her eyebrows raised. “Glittering Diamond Records has been very impressed with you and your team at _The Society-_ ”

“Thank you-”

“-don’t interrupt me, I’m not finished.” Laura’s mouth closed shut. “We’ve enjoyed your videos and blog entries, and we trust that you will continue on this trajectory. For this reason,” Mattie said, pulling out a stack of paper from her briefcase, “I have brought a new contract. The terms have remained the same - but the biggest difference is that you don’t need to go through me or _my_ team to post your content. You’ll see in your email - Ms. Cochrane at _The Society_ has already been informed of this change and supports it. Just don’t tell William; he’s new,” she said, with a sigh, “and he’s contracted by us. He’s not familiar with how this,” Mattie waved her hand, “works.”

Laura sputtered for a moment, before Mattie offered, “You can speak now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you doubting your ability to perform your job without supervision and micromanagement?”

“Uh, no, just-”

“I know your reflex is to be an argumentative little girl, but _for once_ , just accept the good thing. While you can,” she said. She ended the threat with a smile, of course, which did nothing to assure Laura. So she just nodded and signed the papers. “Okay! Now that that is settled, is there anything you want to discuss with me while I’m here?”

“I wanted to ask about their performance at Governor Hackman.”

“What about it?”

“Where do I start?”

Mattie shot her an impatient look.

“It’s just...they’re doing a lot of gigs that seem...inconsistent with who they are as a band. And as people.”

“I agree,” Mattie sighed, tutting to herself. “An agreement with an investor - _not_ Glittering Diamond Records directly - wants to keep investors happy. And the investor wants to keep the band busy, keep people interested. So they play...” For a moment, Laura thought she was going to reveal more, but then she said pointedly: “It’s really nothing you need to be concerned with though.”

Mattie’s phone vibrated - in her hand, Laura hadn’t even noticed that she’d been holding it the entire time until now. She caught a glimpse at the name on the screen - ‘ _Maman_ ’ - as Mattie stood abruptly.

“I have to take this. I will see you soon, Ms. Hollis.”

\---

So what was Laura’s first, unmonitored tweet?

@Laura2TheSociety: How incredible are the @NonAnonOfficial fans in Vancouver?! #ThanksLiefEnergy #NonAnonOnTour

Okay, it wasn’t exactly controversial; Mattie was probably right to trust her. An innocuous tweet of support to the fans, to one of their sponsors, Lief Energy. Seriously, what could Laura say anyway? “I’m sick of hearing Don’t You Want Me. #ThanksLiefEnergy let them play their own songs!”?

She wanted to keep her job. So this newfound ‘freedom’ was a nice gesture and all but, so what?

Her second unmonitored tweet was a selfie taken with the band backstage after the show. It garnered several thousand retweets - possibly because Carmilla followed her then retweeted it with the caption: ‘I’m surrounded by beautiful people. #NonAnonOnTour’

It was pathetic that she was a little too giddy after she read it.

Carmilla thought _she_ was beautiful.

Also, Laura managed to find her nerve and wrap an arm around Carmilla’s waist for the photo - to encourage all of them to squish together for the selfie, of course. What Carmilla _didn’t_ need to do was rest her head against her own.

Laura swooned a little and made the picture her phone’s wallpaper.

Oh _god_ , she was pathetic.

\--

Laura found herself dreading the band’s non-gig days - not as much as the band, of course, but if she had to sit through another interview or mindless promo performance, she was going to lose her mind.

Fortunately, today’s event led them to the Royal Vancouver Yacht Club, which was a nice change of pace. She got to send several “I’m On A Boat” snaps to her coworkers back home. Laura even managed to find a dress, which was barely fancy enough for this event, but even so - she felt pretty important.

She leaned against the rail of the yacht (which was probably bigger than her entire apartment _building_ in Toronto), which belonged to a super loaded shipping tycoon guy - Neel Ramanujan.

LaFontaine gave Laura a wave as they sang the last lines to _Don’t You Want Me_ , to polite, scattered applause. The band was set up minimally - Kirsch had a tambourine, Carmilla and Danny were both on acoustic guitars, and LaF had the only mic. Which ultimately didn’t matter; as usual no one was really paying them any mind.

A group of people approached the band with Will, when a man walked up to her.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“Uh, hi!”

“I’m Jay.” He flashed her a smile - he kind of looked like a Disney villain, all charm and smarm, and Laura rolled her eyes.

“Hi Jay,” she replied, as blandly as she could without being too rude. He was harmless so far.

“What’s your name?”

“Laura.”

“Well, Laura. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” she said, giving him a _clearly_ disinterested sideways glance. If she ignored him, maybe he’d go away.

He leaned back against the rail next to her, clearly settling in and proving Laura wrong. “Yeah,” he said, with a faux sigh, “I’m not a fan of these events either. Shitty food, shitty booze,” he pointed his thumb back towards where the band was, “really shitty music. But my boss’s daughter loves this shitty band. And there’s usually really no quality women to be found, but _you_ , beautiful, are making up for it.”

Laura glared, but _Jay_ was so wrapped up in his asshole monologue, he didn’t even notice.

“I have to ask - are you single? Because what man would leave such a beautiful woman like yourself alone?” _Ah_ , there it is, and excellent opening to verbally tear him a new asshole. Laura clenched her fists and took a breath, ready to to _really_ rip into him.

As she opened her mouth, someone else’s voice cut through. “Her _girlfriend_ might leave her alone if she had to play a gig with her _shitty_ band, knuckle dragger.”

He stepped away to reveal Carmilla, standing behind him with her hands on her hips. Laura sputtered - she was _perfectly capable_ of defending herself and was about to say so, when - (Seriously, what is it with people - Carmilla, in particular - interrupting her?!) - Carmilla pushed the guy aside and slung her arm around Laura’s shoulder.

“Hey babe,” Carmilla said, pressing her lips sloppily against her cheek. “How’d I do?”

So Laura was torn - she was torn between being really annoyed that Carmilla interrupted what was sure to be an exceptional take down of this manchild, and the fact that Carmilla smelled _so good_ and felt _so lovely_ with her length against hers. Jay looked appropriately embarrassed and muttered an excuse to leave, not meeting their eyes. So Laura decided to focus on the former.

“What the hell?” Laura asked, as soon as he was from ear-shot.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, not moving away. “Look, that asshole was being gross, and I figured I’d save you the brain cells from having to engage with him any longer than you had to. So I stepped in.”

“I am more than capable of defending my own honour, Carmilla,” Laura argued, moving to untangle herself from Carmilla’s embrace, when Carmilla shook her head and pressed her forehead against the side of her face.

“Don’t,” she whispered. Carmilla reached over with her free hand to grasp Laura’s, and as skin touched skin, her heartbeat quadrupled. “He’s still watching.”

Laura looked over, and sure enough, he was leering. Laura let herself sink into Carmilla’s embrace. Which was a terrible idea; she couldn’t shake the feeling that it just _felt right_.

“Fine. But next time let me bring the verbal smackdown.”

“Will do, cutie.”

Carmilla moved forward, not letting go of Laura, walking them towards the inside of the yacht, away from douchebag Jay, where Kirsch and LaFontaine were packing up their gear. Carmilla quickly let go once the door closed behind them.

“You know, the people who didn’t actually bring any instruments are the ones packing up...”

“Sorry, LaF. I was busy rescuing Laura from someone who she absolutely didn’t need any rescuing from.”

Okay, as sarcastic as that was, Laura beamed at Carmilla for her very accurate description of what happened.

“Not to echo what that numbskull was saying,” Carmilla said, leaning close so that Laura was the only person who could hear, “but you _do_ look beautiful.”

Then Danny burst into the room.

“Guys! I got her number! I’m going to try to hook up with the yacht guy’s daughter later, Nazneen. I _love_ Vancouver!”

\--

After, the group went out for dinner. It was fun - everyone unwound after the long day, and stuffed themselves on sushi and sake.

Carmilla continued what seemed to be her lifelong ambition to keep Laura in a constant state of flush, teasing her endlessly, but in a way that Laura didn’t mind. Especially with how Carmilla’s eyes sparkled every time Laura countered her jabs with her own.

Things between them was better than before. Daresay, they were becoming _friends_.

They were finishing up at the restaurant; Will had gone to pay the bill and asked Danny to check on LaFontaine and Carmilla, who had disappeared to the washroom a while ago. Danny barely acknowledged the request - she’d been attached to her phone all night (no doubt texting - _possibly_ sexting - Nazneen Ramanujan), so Laura got up to get the others.

As she made her way to the back - stacks and stacks of boxes of chopsticks and take-out boxes in the tight hallway, typical to any divey sushi bar - she could hear their voices get louder from inside the washroom. It sounded angry.

Laura knew she shouldn’t have listened but it was hard not to considering she clearly heard when LaFontaine said her name.

“You and Laura…” they said.

“Again, what are you talking about?” Carmilla’s voice answered, exasperatedly.

“Carmilla, come on. We all know this has been hard for you. Ever since we got signed, you haven’t been yourself. I’m just saying, I’m glad you have Laura; I’m glad you’re letting go.”

“LaF-” Carmilla sounded _pissed_.

“-No, Carmilla-”

“-No. _No_. We’re not talking about this. Nothing’s going on. Nothing has been going on. I’ve been myself, this entire time. So just stop acting like you know what you’re talking about.”

Okay, this was probably a bad idea, maybe she was wrong to have stayed… She remained rooted in place, regardless, as she overheard someone run the taps then aggressively pull at the paper towel dispenser.

“And _nothing_ is going on with me and Laura.”

The door swung open and Laura quickly turned around, shoving herself behind a tower of boxes, and grabbed her phone, pretending to be on a phone call. It didn’t make a difference, Carmilla stomped right past, not noticing her at all.

Laura kept her distance from Carmilla, who walked ahead of the group on the way back to the hotel. She lingered behind, walking in step with LaFontaine, who looked upset.

“Everything okay with you and Carm?” Laura asked LaFontaine. They shrugged.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t things be okay?” They grumbled, stuffing their hands in their pockets. “She’s just being a broody asshole, as usually. But she’ll get over herself.”

“...anything I can do?”

“Probably.” They rolled their eyes. “But not right now. She’s _Carmilla-ing_. Angsting. Brooding. The usual.”

“Okay then…”

“But seriously,” they asked, their voice lowering so no one else could eavesdrop. “What’s going on with you and Carmilla?”

“Nothing!”

“ _Please_ , you two flirt nonstop. She lights up when you’re around-”

“-she does?”

They nodded. “And heaven forbid if I try to mention it to her.”

“Nothing’s happening, LaF. We’re friends. _Barely_.”

“Fine. Both of you can be in denial. Whatever,” they grumbled.

Up ahead, Danny broke the tension with an emphatic, “ _Yes!”_

“What?” Kirsch asked.

“Remember Nazneen? Guess who’s waiting for me in the lobby?”

\--- 

The band got to enjoy one more free day in Vancouver before leaving in the afternoon. As they climbed onto the tour bus, they were given a small blessing - Will was leaving for a few days and would be meeting the band in Calgary, as he had “important business” to tend to.

And the next thing on their schedule?

A treat from Glittering Diamond Records and Matska Belmonde herself - the band (and select members of the crew, including Laura) were being treated to two days of rest and relaxation in Banff.

Everyone was already thrilled to have the break; now they could all barely hide their happiness that Will wouldn’t be there for it.

In hushed tones, as Will gathered his things, Laura asked LaFontaine about him. They told her the record company assigned him to them, despite him having no experience and having just graduated with an anthropology degree from some university in Europe none of them had ever heard of. None of them liked him, which didn’t really need to be said, but ultimately, LaF said they didn’t have any complaints. Despite him having to be around _a lot_ , they generally avoided dealing with him in any capacity outside of business. And so far, business seemed to be going well.

Although, they did point out, right now they were just on an allowance and had yet to see any lavish royalty cheques that they’d been promised…

(The cogs in Laura’s brain started turning; she made a mental note to tell J.P. about this when she had the time.)

Again, that night, on the way to Banff, Laura woke up. Carmilla was up too. She tried unsuccessfully to make conversation, but Carmilla ignored her and continued scribbling tablature into her notebook.

So Laura settled with sitting with her in (strangely comfortable) silence for a couple hours, until she felt tired enough to try to sleep. As she opened the door back into the sleeping quarters, she heard Carmilla say, quietly, “Goodnight, cutie.”

**\--**

Laura didn’t know the world could be this pretty. She laid in bed, scrolling through the pictures she had taken on her computer. While the band and crew chose to hang out in the hotel bar, she just got off the phone with her dad, enthusiastically telling him about her day. The band walked around Banff, going into all the quaint shops. They rode the gondola up Sulphur Mountain. She saw a _real_ bear! (To which her father scolded her for not having any bear spray with her, but she assured him - she was in the gondola, and the bear was several hundred feet below her.)

She stopped at a photo she took of Carmilla, who hadn’t noticed she was being photographed, taking in the views from the summit.

Well, no, she was wrong - Laura didn’t know the world could be _this_ pretty. She didn’t think she’d ever seen anything more beautiful than Carmilla’s awed expression, the sun lighting her wavy hair, the mountains surrounding her...

Stop. She had to stop this. Clearly Carmilla wasn’t interested in her - she made herself _very_ clear to LaFontaine. So this crush, or whatever, needed to stop.

She looked at her computer screen again. _God_ , she was just _so beautiful…_

Ugh. Laura slammed her laptop shut and hopped off the bed. She just needed to focus on something else - and the sun setting in the distance was the perfect distraction.

She opened the sliding door and sat at the patio set on her balcony. This was _heaven._ The only thing that could make this better is if she had someone to share this with her (the voice in the back of her head sounded suspiciously like it was saying ‘Carmilla’).

She leaned her arms on the table, really taking in the view, when, nearby, she hear the gentle strumming of a guitar. Then a voice...

_“I never meant to wither, I wanted to be tall. Like a fool left the river and watched my branches fall.”_

Carmilla. From the sounds of it, her balcony was on the other side of the wall from hers. And she was singing the most beautiful song she’d ever heard.

She very quietly pushed her chair against the wall that was dividing both balconies, resting her head against it.

_“And wipe the mark of sadness from my face, show me that your love will never change. If my yesterday is a disgrace, tell me that you still recall my name.”_

With the sun setting in the distance and Carmilla’s voice serenading her, in a private concert she didn’t even know she was giving, Laura felt honoured to have been given this moment. Just the mountains and the trees, the sky and the setting sun; herself and Carmilla.

Carmilla played until the sun made way for the moon, her voice turning to a near whisper as the stars covered the sky.

Laura felt sad when she heard Carmilla’s sliding door open then close.

Alone again.

\--

Laura was certain she dreamt of Carmilla - how else could she explain the smile on her face as she woke up? Last night was incredible, it was exciting, and Laura finally let herself admit it: she was starting to have feelings. For Carmilla. Feelings for Carmilla.

Yeah, she really shouldn’t have been entertaining these thoughts, but there was something kind of wonderful about letting yourself acknowledge and kind of revel in romantic thoughts for someone else. And there was also something kind of terrifying about it. The crippling uncertainty of developing a crush.

But she was _pretty sure_ Carmilla felt _something_ for her. Like, Laura knew she was pretty oblivious about most things, especially _these_ matters, but Carmilla had been laying it on pretty thick. Well, at least she thought so until she overheard Carmilla’s conversation with LaF. She would’ve probably been more than fine living the rest of her life as a pine tree if it wasn’t for last night. Listening to her sing, Laura had one of the most beautiful, romantic nights of her life and Carmilla had no idea.

And now she could _picture it_. Holding hands. Cooking each other dinner. Cuddling on the couch, watching TV. Late night Skype calls when Carmilla would be on tour. Waiting backstage as she’d perform for thousands of people. Private concerts, with just the two of them. Stolen moments in hotel rooms.

Kissing - she could definitely picture the kissing. But imagining it left her wondering how soft her lips were, how she’d fit against her, what she’d taste like...

And it was the wondering that led her outside Carmilla’s door, her heart beating out of its chest, wanting to take the chance and maybe, potentially, all of her picturing and wondering would come true. She was a journalist after all - speculation was fun, but she wanted the facts. She decided to use last night - Carmilla’s beautiful song, Laura’s overhearing it - as the icebreaker to bring up her... _feelings_.

She took a deep breath. Okay. She could do this.

She could. Sure, she’d been standing at Carmilla’s door for (she looked down at her watch) about 3 minutes, but that’s not an unreasonable amount of time. The length of a song.

“Okay, Laura,” she whispered to herself. “Girl the hell up and just knock on her door.”

About thirty seconds later, she did it. Then she waited, what was probably barely any time at all but Laura was quickly losing nerve and was starting to think _maybe_ this wasn’t a good idea, _feelings shmeelings_ -

-and the door swung open. And Laura almost needed to lift her jaw up off the floor, ‘cause there Carmilla stood, with her beautifully tousled hair, a toothbrush in her mouth, in an oversized tank top and _not much else_.

If God was real, he either really loved her or _really_ hated her.

(She silently thanked God either way, ‘cause _holy shit_.)

Carmilla winked and grunted, then motioned for Laura to come in while she finished up in the washroom. Laura sat on the bed, on top of Carmilla’s unmade sheets, and was feeling _all too_ intimate (but somehow just right). She didn’t even really mind how disorganized and messy Carmilla was - she certainly didn’t mind the bra tossed on the lounge chair.

Carmilla strolled out of the washroom, finished and flawless. She definitely ran a brush through her hair, put some make-up on, but she was still in her tank top and, _oh god_ , she was just wearing panties underneath.

How in the hell was Laura going to _speak_ much less-

“Good morning, cupcake. What do I owe the early morning visit?”

“It’s 10 am, I’d barely call it the early morning.”

Carmilla raised her eyebrows and leaned against the TV stand.

Laura continued, “I just…” Carmilla crossed her arms, her tank top rising up a little and Laura felt the room get warmer, dear god, the room was so hot, “...thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“Thank you. For last night.”

Carmilla smirked and quirked an eyebrow. “Last night? Cupcake, did you have a particularly _vivid_ dream about me?”

“What?!”

Carmilla’s smirk turned into a full-on, shit-eating grin. “Laura, I did not think you had it in you to be _so bold_ with me.”

“No! Carm,” not only was Laura in distress over Carmilla’s (lack-of) outfit, but now she was going to go into cardiac arrest, “I mean last night, I heard you. Your singing.”

Realization covered Carmilla’s features and with it came a flash of _something_ that Laura couldn’t put her finger on, but she couldn’t stop herself from continuing.

“You’re an incredible singer. Like, wow. And the others talk about how you’re an incredible songwriter and they told me about how you wrote most of the band’s stuff, and like, genuinely, I was blown away. You’re amazing. You’re incredible, Carm.”

Carmilla continued to stare, almost processing what Laura had said. Then she pushed off the TV stand and started going through her bags, almost angrily - whoa, _why_? - throwing on a pair of pants and tossing a plaid shirt on. Carmilla wouldn’t meet her eye and Laura felt all sorts of uncomfortable, and she felt the verbal diarrhea as the words came.

“And it’s just weird, ‘cause you’re amazing, and you don’t seem happy with the band and the band doesn’t really seem happy with the direction you’re all being taken in, and like, why don’t you do anything about this.” Carmilla shot her a look, almost a warning, but surely it wasn’t actually a warning, ‘cause, like, Laura was saying pretty reasonable and complimentary things, right?

“Carm, you’re really talented and amazing and all kinds of beautiful. You could push Non! Anon to another level and get the critical success that you clearly deserve.”

Carmilla now stood at the balcony window, her hands on her hips. Laura saw her shoulders lift and drop with an exasperated sigh and that’s when she realized that she _probably_ just fucked up.

Carmilla turned, slowly, as if trying to temper herself, then she said, through gritted teeth, “Do you really think getting on my ass about this is going to make me suddenly be _more engaged in the band_?”

“What?”

“Were you _spying_ on me?”

“No, Carmilla, god no, I’m sorry, I just-”

“ _I’m sorry_? You’re sorry for eavesdropping on me and then trying to shame me into what? _Being more engaged in the band?_ ” Carmilla voice went high pitched, mocking Laura.

Laura was at a loss - she came here for one thing and now felt her walls go up. She was on the defense and she got upset. “What is your problem? I’m just trying to tell you that I liked what I heard last night and _maybe_ encourage you to step it up! You’re barely there for them anyway, Carmilla!”

“Well, I’m sure it’d be exactly what you want. Because I’m sure if you stay pure of heart and really believe it, that’ll make a difference. _‘Poor misunderstood Carmilla will finally open up to me. My little blog and little videos will become super popular.’_ ”

Again with the terrible impersonation. You know what, Laura was _glad_ this was going this way, ‘cause Carmilla was being such an ass!

“Well, it’s better than lounging around all day pretending to be all cool and disaffected when really you’re just miserable and alone.”

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed, her nostrils flared, her lips pursed. Laura stared at her with her best angry face, bunched up and furious, and probably terrifying.

“And you really think you getting on me about this is going to do a lick of good? Don’t you think the others, LaFontaine, have tried? _I don’t want this._ They do. You’re a child, and you understand nothing. Not about life, not about me, and certainly not about – you know what? It doesn’t even matter - the sooner you stop playing Lois Lane, the better off you’ll be.”

Another beat; Laura let her words sink in and felt like she had two options - she could just let Carmilla continue to be a moody grump, let all of the band’s potential fall by the wayside, or she could _not_ do that.

Laura wasn’t the type to just let things go.

“ _No._ ”

“What?”

“No, I’m not just gonna give up. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am a child. A crappy writer who didn’t do anything beyond little gig reviews before she got here. But you, Carmilla - when you’re not being a complete ass, you are _talented_. And you’re smart. And your band is _good_. And you could be _great_. LaF, Kirsch, and Danny? They _deserve_ good things. And you deserve it too, Carmilla.”

Carmilla opened her mouth, as if to say something, then closed it quickly. Her jaw clenched, and Laura willed Carmilla to just _meet her eyes._ When she did, Laura saw that they’re watering and she regretted everything about the conversation.

_Fuck._

“Leave.”

No, she had to make this better. “Carm, wait, no, just-”

“Laura, _leave_. Don’t come in here telling me how to be a team player when I do _everything_ for them. I know what they deserve. You don’t know what I’ve done for this band.”

“What do you mean?” Laura asked; she couldn’t help herself - _what has she done?_

“Laura, leave,” Carmilla asked, almost desperately.

Laura felt like she was stuck; she just wanted to make sure they were okay and just _help_ Carmilla, and help the others, and just make everything _right_.

“Just go!” Carmilla snapped, her voice raised. Laura was shocked and stood quickly.

As the door closed behind her, Laura let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding.

\---

_Notes: Hey SJ! Okay, so for my vlog with Danny, I’ll just drop the latest files in the Dropbox. You know what I want by now? Either way, I have some notes in the transcript below. Thanks! Hey, also, can you water my desk plant? I totally forgot about it..._

Me: Hi everyone! Laura here from _The Society_ and I’m here with your official look into Non! Anon.

_< <cut to the Non! Anon tour video intro>>_

Me: Everyone - meet _Danny Lawrence!_

Danny: Hi Laura’s viewers!

Me: Welcome to the channel, Danny. They’re actually more _your_ viewers than _my_ viewers.

_< <cut to the Vancouver show footage - there’s a really awesome shot of her and Carmilla trading instruments, use it! MV_1014.avi>>_

Me: So, everyone always wants to know how the band feels about each other. Could you like, tell me about your bandmates in Non! Anon? And what your roles are?

Danny: Yeah! LaFontaine, our lead singer, is hilarious. _< <overlay footage - MV_1074.avi - LaF getting their hair done>>_ And gets into trouble but not because they’re trying to but they’ll literally leave a washroom and then come back into the room and they’re covered in dust and their hair is green and they’ll be like ‘Well. I did something stupid.’” They’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, and probably would’ve become a biologist or a chemist in another life. Possibly an alchemist, actually.

Danny (continued): Kirsch is a puppy. _< <overlay footage - MV_1124.avi - Kirsch was seriously chasing after a stray cat, GOLDEN FOOTAGE, SJ!>>_ He’s the most loyal guy and probably my best friend, which is funny ‘cause I want to strangle him half the time. He and I used to not really get along, but now, seriously, I couldn’t imagine life without my “bro.”

Danny (continued): And Carmilla? _< <overlay footage - MV_1156.avi - Carmilla caught the cat Kirsch was chasing, she’s like a cat-whisperer>>_ Carmilla is intense. The most talented person I know - she used to play bass but we decided it’d be good for the current direction of our music for her to play lead guitar. But she can _look_ at an instrument and perfect it. She’s also kind of an ass, but whatever. We love her anyway.

_< <cut back to Danny and I backstage>>_

Me: So what’s your favourite part about being in the band?

Danny: Aside from playing gigs every night, I’d say hanging with my friends all day. It’s really incredible, how different we all are but how easily we get along.

Me: It really is - I’ve seen it first hand! Now tell us - how were you discovered?

Danny: It’s kind of a crazy story - one day we’re jamming in Kirsch’s garage, following around and playing a cover, the next someone’s driven by and stopped, and she's telling us we’re the next big thing. She were from our record label, and they signed us a week later.

<< _overlay the Corrina Hair logo >>_

Me: Wow! Talk about a great coincidence.

Danny: Yeah!

Me: And that's all the time we we have. Shout-out to Corrina Hair, one of your many sponsors.

Danny: Corrina Hair makes great hair products. Gives Kirsch the perfect mohawk mullet. << _overlay a shot of Kirsch’s hair >>_

Me: It does!

_< <cut back to Danny and I on the bus>>_

Me: This has been Laura from The Society with Danny from Non! Anon! We’ll talk to you guys later! Find us both on Twitter and Tumblr - as usual, the links are in the description below!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previews, fic art by c-syz, and more are on [my Tumblr](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com). The song that Carmilla is singing is [here](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com/post/142374155620).


	5. Edmonton to Calgary

Laura had been to Alberta, once, when she was a kid. She remembered the skyline, the mountains, the trees. The air was different here. When the view gave way from mountains to prairies, everything seemed bigger. The sky. The empty roads.

The confrontation with Carmilla.

The bus trip from Banff to Edmonton was tense between the two and everyone noticed. Carmilla was being mean to everyone - not just her usual snark and sarcasm, but outright picking fights. It all came to a head when Danny made a joke about Carmilla, her uncharacteristic lack of a sex life, and her “obvious” interest in “certain tiny people”, which was _harmless_ \- if not a little embarrassing for Laura - but Carmilla snapped.

Which led them to how they were now - Will and Kirsch hiding at the back of the bus, LaFontaine following Carmilla to the bunk room (more than likely trying to calm her down), and Laura, uncomfortably trying to edit her article, in the front with Danny. The guitarist had bunched up a sheet of paper and started tossing it in the air, like a ball.

From her laptop, Laura caught some of Danny’s mutters - mentions of the “broody asshole” and “self-righteous jerk” were peppered between her grumbles and sighs.

It was kind of annoying; Laura really needed her to stop.

“Maybe that wasn’t a good idea, Danny…”

Danny caught the ball and tossed it at Laura’s laptop, glaring.

“Don’t even start with me,” she warned. Laura sighed, receiving a pointed look, then went back to her notes.

Fine. She could ignore her.

“What’s going on with you and Elvira anyway?”

Or not. Laura rolled her eyes. “She was thisclose to finally getting her head out of her ass about you and now she’s just acting like one.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Laura lied. She was mortified that it seemed like _everyone_ had picked up on her dynamic with Carmilla, and now that it had exploded in her face, was even more mortified that she had nothing to show for it other than her extremely hurt pride.

“Don’t pretend that she’s not into you and that you don’t know. And don’t pretend you don’t feel the same way for her.” Danny tore another sheet out of her notebook and bunched it up again, tossing it at Laura again.

“Are you _seriously_ throwing things at me?”

“I was actually looking forward to you two getting together,” Danny continued, ignoring her. “Carmilla was almost tolerable because of you. I mean, she basically ignored all of us because she was so distracted by you-”

“-She’s never been _distracted_ by me.”

Danny gave her another pointed look then tore another sheet and threw it at her, a little harder than before. Laura caught it and put it down.

“Fine. Maybe there _was_ something going on. But it doesn’t matter anymore, so can we just drop this?”

“ _No._ Explain to me why I just got my head ripped off for a joke that was a thousand times tamer than the jabs she throws at me daily.”

Laura probably should’ve restrained herself, but it _was_ really eating at her.

And it just poured out of her - everything that happened (kind of, she left out the stuff she said about Carmilla becoming more of a bandmate, ‘cause she even knew she overstepped, and she didn’t want Danny to hate her too). Listening to Carmilla sing, awkwardly trying to get her to talking about her music, thinking it’d be a good way for Carmilla to open up to her, it all blowing up in her face. By the end of it, even Danny looked annoyed.

“So you being a shitty flirt is what made Carmilla tear my throat out?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have put it _that_ way.”

“I mean, you’re pretty ballsy, Hollis, to have talked to her about her songwriting. She’s more protective of that than she is her leather pants collection.”

“I didn’t know she’d respond that way!”

“Laura, Laura, _Laura_. I don’t know what we’re going to do with you.”

“Absolutely nothing. We’re going to drop this.”

Danny sighed and picked up all the paper balls, giving Laura an apologetic look when she flinched, and tossing them in the garbage. “Just let her calm down on her own. LaFontaine is probably managing whatever meltdown Carmilla’s having over you hurting her feelings or whatever, so you’ll be safe from her wrath if she ever graces us with her presence again.”

Laura closed her laptop and crossed her arms on the table. She dropped her head onto her arms.

“But I don’t...I want...I just want her to not...” Laura groaned. She lifted her head and, with a little plea in her voice, said, “I don’t want her to hate me.”

Danny’s eyes softened. “Laura, she couldn’t hate you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she just tried to tear me a new asshole because you hurt her feelings and she’s feeling sensitive. If anything, this shows that she _really_ likes you. It hurts most when you’re hurt by someone you care about.”

\---

While things were rocky within the band, things were only getting better with their tour, if the stop in Edmonton was any indication. There seemed to be fans _everywhere_. There was a group waiting for them outside their hotel when they arrived and an even bigger group when they left their hotel for a radio interview.

It was pretty standard, as far as interviews went - they were asked asinine questions, LaFontaine, Danny, and Kirsch taking turns to answer - until they were asked about their bond. Carmilla spoke up, for the first time in the interview.

“We’re a family, first and foremost. Yes, we work well together and we all love music, but I would do anything for these nerds. We’ve all sacrificed a lot to be where we are but hopefully we’re all gaining even more. But I’d do anything for them.”

It was an almost out of place moment of sincerity and Laura felt her heart swell. Despite their argument, despite Carmilla’s frosty behavior, Laura really missed her.

After the interview, back at the hotel, the mob had tripled - the band had to go through the back entrance and Will banned them from leaving the hotel for the rest of the night.

Laura used the opportunity to work with the other members of the band. Now that she’d been effectively frozen out by Carmilla (which, by the way, felt terrible - it been less than a day but it’d felt like too long), she could spend more time with the others and interview them for the magazine article.

Fortunately, they’d gotten to a point where her relationship with the others had become effortless - “interviewing” them was conversational, candid. The tone circled around the same things - from their gratitude and their love of their fans, to their homesickness, their lack of creative freedom, and the huge expectations and pressure they felt.

She asked them if they thought their record label was doing a good job; their awkward silence spoke volumes.

“We just wish we had more freedom,” LaFontaine said. “We have more to offer than a cover album.”

\---

After working with the band for a couple hours, Kirsch suggested they all go to hotel bar and unwind. He texted Carmilla, to see if she was free, but Laura was sure she’d ignore them.

And when they got to the bar, sure enough, there was Carmilla with a _stunning_ woman, who basically looked like a model with honey brown hair and bright eyes, and she made Laura feel every part self-conscious and unattractive. They were laughing and flirting - clearly both interested in each other (the woman a little more overtly so than Carmilla) and even less interested in the number of people staring and not-so-subtly taking pictures of them both.

As Laura, Kirsch and Danny went to find a table - Laura leading them _away_ from Carmilla and her _friend_ , LaFontaine went over to the two, to ask if they’d like to join them. Laura watched as LaFontaine came up, introduced themself, and the woman perk up, looking over at the group, blatantly starstruck. Carmilla shook her head no, then whispered in LaFontaine’s ear, before LaF rolled their eyes and walked back to the others.

“Well, the old Carmilla’s back,” they said, shaking their head.

“She’s got a type, I’ll give her that,” Kirsch added, nodding towards Laura.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’s looks like you, if you were soaked in vodka,” Danny answered.  

Laura looked over and caught Carmilla starring, who quickly turned away, her attention back to the other woman.

Laura couldn’t help but watch them continue to flirt, their proximity decreasing as the drinks flowed and night progressed.

In spite of her simmering jealousy, she _did_ manage to have fun though, laughing and joking with the others, hearing about LaFontaine’s exploits as a science geek in high school, or Kirsch’s one year as a university frat boy before the band took off, or one of Danny’s many successful conquests.

They also reminisced - it turns out, all four of them were kind of emotional drunks. Kirsch even teared up while talking about a particularly “rad pilsner” that he and his friends had brewed together before leaving for the tour.

Then Laura realized - as they were all talking, the three members of the band were also a little distracted, texting on their phones throughout the night.

“Do you guys think that time is like...slower on the road?” LaFontaine asked. “Like, I know it hasn’t even been two weeks, but I feel like we’ve been away from home for ages.”

“It’s gotta be a thing,” Danny confirmed. “I’m already sick of all of you. It’s like a day on the road is actually a week, with how close we are.”

“It makes me miss home more,” Kirsch said.

Laura nodded. “I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like I’ve known you guys for much longer.”

“It’s been awesome to have you around, Laura, seriously,” LaFontaine gushed. “You’ve easily become one of our favourite people and I think I speak for everyone.”

The chorus of ‘Aww, yeah!’ from the others, with Kirsch wrapping his arm around Laura and giving her a noogie, made her blush.

She nudged LaFontaine. “How’s Perry?”

They couldn’t hold back their wistful grin. “She’s great and I miss her.”

“Well, tell her I say hello,” Laura asked, as LaFontaine returned to their phone to do so.

“I miss my sisters,” Danny admitted. “My oldest sister just had a baby. Wanna see?!”

Laura couldn’t even say yes fast enough, as a phone was pushed towards her. A baby with a full head of red hair was on the screen. “Congrats, Danny,” Laura said, gushing at the picture.

“And I miss my beer,” Kirsch said, tearing up again. Laura patted his arm.

By her third (or fourth? Wait, maybe even fifth...) drink (it was hard to keep track, as Kirsch and Danny made sure her glass was full all night), she had enough of comforting Kirsch (and hate-watching the girl attempt to kiss Carmilla). She excused herself to go back to her room, the others choosing to stay.

With some difficulty, Laura walked back through the lobby, then down the hall to the elevators, her legs feeling like jelly, her vision a little blurred. The floor was uneven, like, _super_ hard to walk straight on, so she made a note to remember to tell the hotel staff tomorrow, to like, even up the floor or whatever.

(Okay, maybe she had six drinks...)

She found herself stumbling - _ugh_ , seriously, how awful were these floors? - when she felt two strong arms grab her hips. Laura flinched away, stumbling again, but this time falling against the wall.

Of _course_.

“Carm.” She must’ve said it with a little more bite than she intended; Carmilla immediately took a step back.

“Easy there,” Carmilla said, holding her hands up. “You looked like Bambi on ice, I thought I’d make sure you made it up to your room in one piece...”

“I’m _fine_.” Laura turned away, pressing the _Up_ button, staring at the lights above the elevator, watching it slowly go from the 12th floor down.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Carmilla stood next to her, a little _too_ close for Laura’s liking. Laura put her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder to brace herself and push her away, keeping her at arm’s length. She was efficient like that.

“Yeah, I’m _great_.”

“You’re swaying,” Carmilla said, incredulously. “I can’t believe the others are still in there, you guys were on track to drink the bar dry…”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, I might’ve had a little more than I should, factoring in my height and weight and my general lack of drinking ever, but I’m _fine._ Go back to your groupie.

Carmilla raised her eyebrows. “She’s...she’s not…” Carmilla stammered. “Fine, maybe she is - but I’d rather be making sure you’ll be okay.”

“Why?”

Just then the elevator doors opened, a group of people walking out, separating the two. Laura walked in as soon as it was empty, Carmilla following her.

“For my own piece of mind, cupcake,” Carmilla mumbled.

Laura pressed “5” on the panel. Wait, that wasn’t right…

Carmilla rolled her eyes ( _rudely)_ , then pressed “9” instead.

Ah, right. That was the floor she was on.

They rode up the elevator in silence, Laura intentionally stood on the opposite end of the elevator from her.

“Why are you doing this?” Laura asked as Carmilla led her to her room door.

“Because against my better judgement, I wanted to be sure you’d make it here safe and I knew the others would be too trashed to make sure of it.”

“Well I’m here,” Laura said, fumbling with her room key. “You can go back to your girl.”

“Look, nothing’s happening with her. We talked, she seemed nice enough. But I decided to check on you, and she didn’t like that, so she left. I guess. I really don’t care.”

“Oh.”

“Take some Advil, drink a glass of water and get some sleep, okay, Hollis?”

“Okay.” She opened her door. “Thanks, Carm.”

“Goodnight, Laura.”

\---

The gig in Edmonton was _incredible_. The band was finding their groove and their fans loved them. Laura’s footage featured a lot more of the other members, so much so that she actually forgot to really film Carmilla.

Forgot? Well...no. She intentionally didn’t film her; on top of feeling guilty about their fight, now she was embarrassed about having to be escorted back to her room by Carmilla while drunk. She couldn’t look at her without feeling the overwhelming urge to jump out of the nearest window. Not that Carmilla’s kindness the night before factored into anything - once again, Laura seemed to be invisible to the woman.

Which led to the next complication.

On the way to Calgary, Laura got a phone call from Cochrane. She wanted Laura to feature more Carmilla, _of course._ It made sense - Carmilla was unquestionably the most popular member. Everytime Laura would tweet anything, she’d get a ridiculous amount of tweets in response from Non! Anon fans that were all variations on “where’s Carmilla?” or “I love Carmilla.”

So Cochrane wanted Laura to find out _everything_. For example, she got J.P. and Natalie to do some digging and the team had determined that Carmilla wasn’t her real name. They’d traced “Carmilla” to a shelter in Mississauga six years ago, when Carmilla would’ve been sixteen, but before that, there was nothing.

Hell, no one even knew her last name.

Naturally, Laura was intrigued - what was Carmilla hiding? What happened? Why was she just so protective of her identity, _herself_? On the other hand, Laura was still incredibly anxious and didn’t want to further ruin any chance at fixing anything. Not that Carmilla had given her any indication that she wanted her to.

At best, she was a ball of stress whenever Carmilla was around, which complicated things for _The Society_ and for her own personal life.

She did get a reprieve though. Halfway through day one in Calgary, she finally relaxed. In fact, the entire band was in pretty good spirits. They were visiting the children’s hospital, and while it was a sponsored event by a _pretty shady_ oil and gas company, Corvae Corporation, no one seemed to mind.

Today was about something bigger than themselves.

As a result, they were happy to do anything - including filming a super cheesy thank you video to Corvae.

After a tour of the hospital and meeting with some of the kids who had more specialized needs, the band went to a rec room with some of the patients, playing and laughing. Laura walked around the room, intermittently taking pictures and playing with the kids, appreciating the importance of the moment.

Her eyes landed on Carmilla, who was colouring with a girl who had not yet left Carmilla’s side since they all got there. As soon as the band entered, the girl took Carmilla’s hand and led her to the colouring table.

Laura approached, cautiously, not wanting to intrude, but also wanting to capture the moment. She smiled at the two and told them to ignore her as she took photos (Carmilla snorted and rolled her eyes, reminding Laura that _no_ , she wasn’t invisible, but _yes_ , Carmilla still hated her).

“What’s your name?” the girl asked, as Laura snapped away.

“I’m Laura. What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Avneet,” she answered. She looked up at Carmilla and asked, “Is she your friend?”

Carmilla stiffened, then continued to colour - very focused on staying in between the lines, in contrast to Avneet, who drew like she was an expressionist artist.

“Kind of,” Carmilla answered, quietly. Laura sucked in a breath. Carmilla sighed, and with a little boredom in her voice, added, “She works at a magazine and she’s following me and my friends around.”

“What do you mean by ‘kind of’?” she asked, looking back at Laura.

“Well, we don’t really know each other,” Laura offered. Carmilla looked up from the page, not hiding her disappointment in Laura’s answer.

Avneet looked between the two women, her eyebrows furrowed. “Are you two fighting?”

“What?” “Um…” They spoke at the same time, causing Avneet to roll her eyes.

“You two shouldn’t be fighting. You two should be friends, because you’re both pretty and you’re both nice.”

They laughed dryly, the tension dissipating a little. Avneet went back to colouring, so Carmilla lightly poked Avneet’s shoulder.

“Laura’s nice. Sometimes _too_ nice but she always means well,” Carmilla said, looking up at Laura. But her expression wasn’t cold and she didn’t look through her, like Laura expected. The warmth that was there before was back, for a moment. Then Carmilla went back to her drawing. “ _I’m_ not very nice.”

“ _Carm_ ,” Laura said, her voice a little shaky, “you’re nice. You’re...great.”

Carmilla mumbled a thanks, not looking up. Laura took a seat next to Avneet, who stared at her for a moment. “Carmilla, Laura’s pretty.”

And Laura couldn’t believe it, but Carmilla smiled and put her crayon down.

“She is. Very.”

“You should marry her,” Avneet said, giggling as Laura sputtered and Carmilla’s face flushed. “You like girls, right? My mom told me that you like girls. You should marry Laura if she likes girls too.”

Kid logic usually made Laura laugh - simplistic but obvious, really, and almost _too_ bold. But when directed towards her? This kid was going to kill her.

Abruptly though, the moment was lost when the director of the hospital came back into the room with Will and the executives from Corvae, thanking everyone for their time and telling everyone that Non! Anon had to go (Laura could sympathize with the wave of “awws” that the kids all let out). She told a very well-rehearsed speech, thanking Corvae Corporation, Glittering Diamond Records, and of course, Non! Anon, for their time and generous donation to the cancer ward.

As the woman spoke, Laura mostly watched Carmilla, who carefully finished the flower she’d been drawing. She signed the bottom, _“To my friend Avneet. Here’s a ‘Get Well’ flower. I’m not great at drawing - one day, you’ll have to give me art lessons! -Carmilla.”_

Laura’s poorly stifled feelings for Carmilla didn’t stand a chance after reading that.

Avneet looked a little sad, then she threw her little arms around Carmilla’s neck. “Bye, Carmilla,” she said, muffled into Carmilla’s shoulder.

Carmilla tightened her arms around the child. “Get well soon, okay?” Avneet nodded. She folded up the drawing and handed it to Avneet. “A gift for you.” Avneet took it excitedly, then hugged Carmilla again.

Laura felt her chest flutter at the sight. She quickly took a picture. The girl let go and gave Laura a hug too, which Laura returned. “Bye!”

As the band left, Laura saw Carmilla stealthily pocket the drawing that Avneet had been working on. Carmilla noticed her watching and smiled with a shrug.

“She’s a good kid.” Carmilla placed her hand on the small of Laura’s back and left it there as they walked out of the room. “Let’s get out of here, creampuff.”

Laura decided that Avneet was going to get a special delivery teddy bear, ordered as soon as she got back to the hotel.

\--

That night, after ordering Avneet the largest (while still affordable) teddy bear and balloon set from the hospital’s online gift store, she joined the others in LaFontaine’s room. They all stayed in, too inspired by the afternoon to go to bed, but not wanting to do anything but enjoy each other’s company. LaFontaine hooked up their laptop to the TV in the room and they binge-watched _Parks and Recreation_.

Everyone was sprawled on all surfaces - LaFontaine draped themself across the foot of the bed, Danny sat in a chair, her feet propped up on the desk, and Kirsch and Laura sat against the headboard. Will was even there, sitting on an ottoman in front of the TV. When Carmilla finally joined them, Laura half expected her to turn around when she’d see the only free spot was next to her in the bed. But she ran a hand through her hair and plopped down beside her.

They were in the middle of the fourth episode, when one by one, the others started leaving. Will got up and left without saying anything, and Kirsch and Danny both left soon after to talk to their families on Skype or FaceTime. By the fifth episode, LaFontaine kicked Laura and Carmilla out so they could try to call Perry, who they were having a hard time getting a hold of because of Perry’s internship at the law firm.

Laura was unsure where they stood. They hadn’t spoken since they left the hospital and she half-expected that she was going to be snapped at as they walked to their rooms down the hall. She was quite surprised when Carmilla mumbled out what _sounded_ like an apology.

“Wait, what?”

“I’m…” Carmilla sighed and stopped outside of her door. Once again, Laura’s room was next to hers. “Sorry. For what happened in Banff.”

“You can’t possibly be sorry, ‘cause _I’m_ sorry. Sorrier even!” Laura exclaimed. Carmilla shushed her and then unlocked her door, motioning for her to follow.

“You go first,” Carmilla said, when the door was closed behind her. Laura paced the length of the room, as Carmilla took a seat on the foot of the bed, leaning back on her hands.

“I pushed you and I didn’t mean to push you, and it wasn’t my place to talk to you about your songwriting or who you are in the band, and I genuinely went there to talk to you about something else and tell you how incredible I thought your song was, but you have this awful habit of making my brain stop working...” Laura said, in basically what was one breath. Carmilla looked humoured. “...And I’m just sorry.”

She ended with her hands on her hips, standing in front of Carmilla. She looked down at her, just a foot away, and was met with Carmilla’s stare. It was, as it always was, startling to be looked at by Carmilla. She had a penetrating gaze, one that never failed to make Laura feel like she was being scrutinized. But this time, in contrast to the few two days, this time there was a softness in her expression.

Carmilla leaned forward and reached for Laura’s hand, taking it in her own; she gave it a squeeze then let go.

“But you were right, Laura. I’m not as into this whole _thing_ as the rest of the band is. It’s not a secret. And despite how much I love the others and I’m doing this for them, it’s isolating. I don’t know how to fix it, or if I can, or if I even want to. But just know that...you were right. You didn’t say anything that I hadn’t been thinking of for a while and...I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Laura sat next to Carmilla.

“But _why_ , Carm? Why even put yourself through this if you hate it.”

“Laura...I get it,” Carmilla sighed. “But I don’t want to talk about it. Please accept that.”

“...Okay.” Laura knew not to push her luck. She was still _so_ confused but forced away her instinct to prod; she just wanted make sure she didn’t ruin whatever potential _thing_ that was happening from...happening. “Are we okay?”

Carmilla nodded.

“Do you hate me though?”

Carmilla eyebrows furrowed then she shook her head, looking sad that Laura had to ask. “I could never hate you.”

Laura hopped Carmilla didn’t notice her breath hitch.

“What exactly did you want to talk to me about though? In Banff?” Carmilla asked.

“Oh...that.” Laura’s shoulders dropped and with it, all of her confidence. She leaned forward, her elbow on her knees; it was a tall bed and her legs dangled above the floor. She thought it was appropriate, considering she felt so small. She propped her head up on her hands and looked over at Carmilla. “Nothing; it doesn't matter anymore.”

She was surprised to see Carmilla’s look of disappointment; she didn’t even bother to hide it, so Laura decided to change the subject.

“So, Avneet - she’s adorable, yeah?”

Carmilla laughed.

“Yeah, she is. She really put us on the spot.”

Laura didn’t realize how much she missed Carmilla’s smile until she was on the receiving end of it. She actually felt a little proud of herself as she nudged Carmilla, and with the last shred of confidence she had in her, she teased: “Is she officially your wingwoman?”

The blush that crept up Carmilla’s face _totally_ made it worth the ulcer she was probably developing. (Seriously, how did people flirt? Or, more accurately, how did people flirt with _Carmilla_?)

“Well, I _was_ going to ask,” Carmilla leaned forward, with a smirk, “was I right to have sent her a big gift basket of candy?”

Laura didn’t even hold back her laugh. “When we got back to the hotel earlier, I got a gigantic stuffed bear delivered to her room,” Laura admitted. Carmilla smiled.

“Well, you know what they say about great minds?”

They grinned at each other - well, Laura grinned and Carmilla smirked, her entirely too-attractive smirk. And it was quite a nice moment, until Laura involuntarily yawned. Carmilla’s eyebrows raised and they both looked at the clock and saw it was nearing two AM. They were supposed to meet in the lobby at eight...

“I should go…”

“Well, let me walk you to your room-”

“I’ll be fine, Carm, it’s _next door_. And I’m sober.”

Carmilla looked sheepish. “Right. Right, you’re right there.”

Laura stood up and made her way to the door, Carmilla close behind. And yes, despite the fact that she didn’t have any game, she knew when to leave someone wanting more.

“Goodnight, Carm.” She leaned forward and kissed Carmilla’s cheek, her lips lingering on her skin, her hand resting on her shoulder.

The look on Carmilla’s face before she shut the door - wistful and dazed - told her she made the right decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to talk? I'm [here](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com). I also track [this tag](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla-blah-au).


	6. Calgary to Winnipeg

Laura could never get used to the screaming. The cheering fans. Them yelling along with the lyrics. Their applause. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t for her; all that mattered was that four friends of hers - four people who she’d grown to really care for - were being appreciated.

Non! Anon’s EP just got gold certification in Canada - Mattie surprised the band with a plaque while they were on stage in Calgary. It was an incredible moment, one that Laura was glad she got to film, following Mattie on stage with her camera.

It was surreal. One moment she was exchanging pleasantries with Mattie and she was showing her the gold certification plaque backstage, asking her to film the band’s reaction on stage. The next she was standing on stage, 10,000 people screaming as Mattie handed the award to Kirsch.

The band’s genuine joy - Laura had never seen a person jump as high as LaFontaine when they realized what Mattie was giving them - almost made her forget about, with barely two weeks on the road, how much pressure they were feeling and how much they were missing home.

Almost.

\---

“Okay, this was a mistake.”

“What? No, we can _totally_ do this.”

“You just rhymed ‘sky’ with ‘cry’ and ‘a while’ with ‘style’, I am _not_ writing a song with you, Hollis.”

“But it _sounds_ great, Carmilla.”

“Of course it sounds great, I’m writing the music. The lyrics are horrifying. This is the worst song ever written.”

“Ouch, I mean, I know I’m not Beyoncé-”

“ _-What, really?-_ ”

“-but I think I’m getting the hang of this!”

Laura and Carmilla were up late on the bus ride from Calgary to Winnipeg, jokingly writing a song. Well, no, Laura was entirely into it, Carmilla seemed to not be taking it seriously. This was all Carmilla’s fault, really - she said she’d play for Laura one of the songs she’d been writing, if Laura wrote a song with her.

It seems as though Carmilla thought it’d get Laura off her back, but little did Carmilla know - Laura had very little pride and was almost always up to try new things.

“How about the next line be: _You make me feel blue, but I still want to be with you.”_

“Okay, I was wrong,” Carmilla said, putting down her guitar; Laura beamed. “ _Now_ this is the worst song ever written.”

“Hey!” Laura yelled with mock offence. She pushed herself off her seat and threw herself onto Carmilla, pretending to push her. Carmilla grabbed her wrists, stopping Laura’s haphazard hit, but fell backwards into the booth. Carmilla braced Laura’s arms against her chest, which caused Laura’s body to press against hers. They stared again, and Laura was sure Carmilla was leaning forward as her eyes darted towards Laura’s lips, before a voice behind them cleared their throat.

“Ladies,” Will said, leering from the doorway to the bunk room. “I think you two should get some sleep. We have a busy next few days.”

The two separated quickly, Laura scrambling off her.

“Uh, right,” Laura said, clearing her throat. Carmilla stared at the table. “Goodnight, you two.”

She pushed past Will, leaving the two in the front room.

She clamoured into bed, drawing her curtain, but leaving it open a bit. It took a while for Will to come back to the bunk room, looking aggravated as he strode past.

She didn’t sleep that night.

\---

They were now in Winnipeg and Laura noticed that Carmilla had been more ‘ _on’_ in the band interviews they had today. She’d been more assertive and active in her role. The others had definitely noticed this too, welcoming the change. _And_ she even participated in a group vlog!

Everyone’s moods had improved since Calgary and they all seemed to agree - it was because of Laura. Now, she wasn’t comfortable taking _all_ the credit, of course, but she felt like she was part of the team. She had a place with this group of people, and she was so happy that all of them had accepted her. Kirsch rough-housed with her the same way he did with the others. Danny teased Laura the same way. LaFontaine and Laura had clicked, like lifelong friends.

And Carmilla?

Most of all, she was happy that she and Carmilla were back to how they were. And by “how they were”, she means things had taken a turn. A good turn.

There was flirting.

A lot of it.

Will’s interruption notwithstanding, it was pretty constant. Which was _awesome_. Like, Laura was by no means good at flirting, but geez, it was super easy to just do it when Carmilla brought it out of her. And Carmilla was laying it on _pretty_ thick. Laura felt like they were on the edge of something and she couldn’t wait to be on the other side. But right now? She was just along for the ride, as she had been so far this summer.

Carmilla also should’ve gotten an award for being _so so so_ patient whenever Laura stuck her foot in her mouth. And that happened frequently since they’d first met. Laura learned not to ask certain questions or bring up anything too personal. Carmilla didn’t talk about her family, not about her childhood, not much about anything that happened before meeting LaFontaine when she was a teenager.

All she knew was that Carmilla was gay and had a falling out with her family as a result. She stalled pretty majorly in terms of what _The Society_ wanted, but she found that her exciting potential _something_ with Carmilla was overshadowing any concerns she had about that.

She did realize that she was wrong about her initial impression of Carmilla - her problem with “authority” was more a problem with Will. Her relationship with him was bizarre. Cold and condescending, but somehow _familiar_. She compared it with Carmilla’s relationship with the other people who were on the crew (she was always polite - not overly friendly, but not rude) or part of the record company (like Mattie, who she seemed to actually _like_ ).

But was that _really_ an observation? No one liked Will. Kirsch and him _did_ get along, in that they played a lot of video games with each other and acted _bro-y_ with each other. But generally, everyone thought Will was a dick. Carmilla was just the only one who wasn’t shy about her dislike for him.

Anyway, it was probably nothing. After all, Laura _did_ have the tendency to overthink things.

\---

@Laura2TheSociety: The wheels on the bus go round and round, and I don’t sleep, I don’t sleep. #NonAnonOnTour

@CarmillaAnon: @LauraTheSociety I was wrong; you’re an excellent songwriter.

@Laura2TheSociety: @CarmillaAnon You just wish you had my natural talent!!! #Jealous #Hater #IAmAFutureGrammyWinner

@CarmillaAnon: @Laura2TheSociety Yeah, that’s definitely what I wish. Your hashtags are #excessive by the way.

@DannyLawrence: @CarmillaAnon @Laura2TheSociety Delete your Twitter accounts, because you’re both being gross.

@Laura2TheSociety: @DannyLawrence @CarmillaAnon I don’t know what you’re talking about!

@NonLaFonNon: We’re all next to each other and tweeting each other. #NonAnonOnTour << Attached photo: Laura, Carmilla, Danny, and Kirsch on their phones. >>

@KirschNonAnon: @NonLaFonNon WHATS HAPPENING????

\---

“LaFontaine, can you give us a smile?”

“Yeah, no, I don’t really _do_ that…”

“Come on, just one shot where it doesn’t look like you want to strangle someone. There you go! Beautiful!”

Non! Anon were currently hamming it up, doing a photoshoot for their next media blitz, taking some regular band photos and also posing with various products from different sponsors. They clearly weren’t comfortable but they were still having fun. It was pretty glamorous, seeing the band under the big photography umbrella lights, all dressed up in suits.

(Laura had to stop herself from openly gawking at Carmilla. They all looked _incredible_ , but Carmilla? In a _suit?_ It was _ridiculous_.)

The photographer - Elsie Haines, a pretty renowned celebrity photographer - was getting some stunning photos of the band.

Soon they were working on individual photos; Laura left the studio to get some air. She sat on the steps of the fire escape, flipping through her phone. She wasn’t terribly impressed with how physical Elsie “had to” be with Carmilla, to get her to “pose _just right_.” It was excessive, frankly. Super unprofessional.

Laura was not at all jealous.

She scrolled through her tweets - a picture she took of the members’ shoes got over a thousand retweets, oh god - when she heard Carmilla’s voice.

“There you are.”

Carmilla ducked out of the window to join her, still wearing the suit.

“How do I look, cupcake?” Carmilla straightened her blazer and stood tall, posing for her.

Laura rolled her eyes, teasingly. “I mean, it’s a shame you’re unattractive Carm, it’s always such a hassle taking your picture.”

Carmilla grinned and sat closely against her, throwing an arm against the step above them - and more or less around Laura. “Ah, is that why you always have the camera focused on me at our shows?”

See, Laura didn’t even know why she tried to keep up with Carmilla, ‘cause any time she thought she had a leg-up, Carmilla would go and out-flirt her. Ugh. Her face felt warm and she stammered, “Uh, uh, yeah. Obviously. Like, if I take 100 pictures of you, one of them is bound to be usable.”

“I see.” Carmilla had an infuriatingly _knowing_ grin. “But Elsie seems to think I do okay for myself, doesn’t she?”

“To say the least.” Laura answered, a little more bite in her voice than she intended. She hoped it didn’t sound as jealous as she thought it might.

“You have nothing to worry about, cupcake,” Carmilla said, lowering her arm to drape across Laura’s shoulders.

“Oh?” Laura caught Carmilla’s eyes darting down to her lips.

“She’s probably very good at her job, but she’s not my favourite photographer. At all,” Carmilla said, simply, leaning forward slightly.

“Oh.” This back and forth was going to kill her. “I would hardly call myself a photographer.” She didn’t even bother to pretend to not watch Carmilla’s tongue poke out of her mouth and trace the bottom of her lip.

“Wow, cocky much? I was going to say Annie Leibovitz…” Carmilla teased.

“You’re such a jerk,” Laura replied, not meaning it, not even really paying attention to what she was saying. Instead she watched as Carmilla’s eyes trailed from her eyes to her mouth, to her chest, and back up, focusing on her completely.

“Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?”

“What?” Laura breathed out, the air thick with this incredible tension between the two. “I'm not the one in a suit.”

“I’m completely overdressed here,” Carmilla said, looking down at herself, “but you, in your _damn tank top_...You’re killing me, Hollis.”

Laura felt something in her stir; she grabbed the lapels of Carmilla blazer. There was barely any distance between them, she could feel Carmilla’s breath against her lips, the smell of her perfume. She swore she could hear her heartbeat (or was it her own?).

She unconsciously licked her lips and closed her eyes - Carmilla’s eyes had shut too - and she leaned forward... then the sound of a car alarm went off. The two jumped apart.

“God damn it,” Carmilla snapped, running a hand through their hair, leaning her back against the steps. Laura, heart racing - at being startled by the car alarm and the kiss they _clearly_ almost shared - tried to laugh it off. A moment later they were called back inside by the wardrobe guy, who almost frantically asked if Carmilla got her suit dirty on the steps.

At the end of the photoshoot, as everyone went to leave, Laura spotted Elsie speaking to Carmilla. She watched Elsie, _clearly_ interested, lean forward into Carmilla’s space, and Carmilla stiffen. She watched Elsie trail her hand up Carmilla’s arm, then whisper in her ear and pull out her phone, possibly asking for her number.

Laura was relieved to see Carmilla shake her head no, give her an apologetic smile, and turn to join the rest of the band in the van.

\---

“Okay guys, I’m going to walk past, can you all wave at the camera when I do?”

Laura was spending the day filming and interviewing the fans who were waiting outside the venue for their show. The show was in a few hours - four to be exact - but the line was already a couple hundred people long.

Non! Anon’s fans were committed and intense and _so_ passionate.

There were some awkward comments - a few of them mentioning shipping Kirschmilla (which made Laura laugh _so hard_ ), a few of asking if “management” were keeping Danny and LaFontaine from being open about their relationship. She got away from those people pretty quickly.

Overall though, everyone was really sweet.

“So what does Non! Anon mean to you?” Laura asked, interviewing the first person in line.

“They’re my favourite band. I love their album but have all their old original stuff on my phone, and I _really_ wish they could do more of that. They’re incredible. And all of them are _so_ hot. And LaFontaine helped me accept myself for who I am - all of them are making a huge difference for queer people. They’re amazing,” they answered.

After Laura wrapped up, ending with filming a particularly enthusiastic group of parents who were with _rather_ embarrassed teenagers, Will approached her.

“You can’t use the interview with the first kid,” he ordered, matching her stride as she walked to the back entrance of the venue.

“Uh, why not?”

“The kid-”

“- _They_ ,” Laura informed, remembering their pronouns. She pushed past him, flashing her backstage pass to the security guard as William trailed closely behind her.

“Whatever, _they_ had a Lugenbaron Records patch on their jacket.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “They did. Again, _why not?_ ”

Will scoffed. “Lugenbaron Records is a major competitor. We can’t have them in the video.”

“Seriously? How? No offense, Will, but Lugenbaron Records is _kind of_ a _much_ bigger deal than Glittering Diamonds.”

Will glared. “ _Delete it._ ”

“But they said some incredible things about the band and their impact!”

“I don’t care.”

“ _No_. Mattie said she trusted my judgement,” Laura argued. She put her gear down as soon as she entered the band’s dressing room. The band was still soundchecking and they were alone.

“Well, Mattie’s not here. I’m in charge, sweetheart, and I say you have to delete it.”

“Don’t call me that,” Laura bristled, grimacing at his nickname for her. She was actually quite impressed with herself for not punching Will’s creepy face.

“Why? You let Carmilla call you pet names.” Will crossed his arms and took a step forward, imposing on Laura’s space.

“You’re not Carm,” she said, standing her ground, her hands on her hips. Yes, he was taller, but he didn’t have years of Krav Maga training like she did. She wasn’t going to let him intimate her.

“‘ _Carm_?’” He raised his eyebrows and took a step back. “Interesting.”

“What?”

“Just - delete it. I swear to god, if that kid shows up in the video, you’ll be on the next bus to Toronto and looking for a new job.”

\---

Laura stomped back to the bus, putting her gear back. She put her camera’s SD card into her computer and transfered the files.

She hovered her mouse over the video of her with the kid...and chose to keep it. Maybe she wasn’t going to use it. Maybe she was. But as she rewatched the footage and looked at the fan’s completely innocuous patch, she thought back to her conversation with Will.

He was _so_ annoyed, as he always was when he spoke to Laura, but in more of a...frazzled way. Like, he was genuinely concerned about having this logo appear in the video. Laura knew it would’ve interfered with Glittering Diamond Records. And because the band had a ton of sponsorships, she would’ve blurred it out anyway, just in case.

But why did Will have such a visceral reaction?

So naturally, she dove straight into digging, finding out everything she could about Lugenbaron Records. And it didn’t take long for her to fall into the rabbit hole of research.

Will said that Lugenbaron Records were their competitors, which made _no_ sense. Like Laura told him, comparing Lugenbaron to Glittering Diamond was like comparing Sony Records to a kid uploading covers on YouTube. Glittering Diamond Records was an up-and-coming record company, with Non! Anon being their only major act. Lugenbaron Records was _huge_.

 _Exponentially_ different leagues.

So maybe he meant someone else? She quickly found on Lugenbaron Records’ website that they were a subsidiary of Vordenberg Electric, a major player in the energy sector. And Vordenberg’s biggest competitor?

Silas Industries. Every other headline about Vordenberg was about their rivalry against Silas Industry, a gigantic conglomerate in their own right. The two were major competitors.

At first glance it made what Will said make even _less_ sense.

What did Silas have to do with them? Why would Will care? Silas didn't appear to have any subsidiaries in the music or entertainment industries. It didn’t look like they were connected to Glittering Diamond Records - the record company wasn’t part of the Silas company listing.

But - Laura gasped as she realized it - it looked like _every_ event that Non! Anon had done had a link, somehow, to Silas Industries.

She scrolled through the list. Benefactors. Shareholders. Policy makers. Recent acquisitions. Groups who Silas Industries would want happy were getting private gigs and promotion from the hottest new band in music.

So Will wasn’t talking about Glittering Diamond Records. He was talking about _Silas_. But why was Silas Industries even involved in the first place?!

Laura was so engrossed in her own research, a new Word document filled with her findings, notes and links and theories, when she heard the bus door open, pulling her attention from her laptop screen. Laura whipped her head around.

“There you are,” Carmilla said, smiling at Laura. There was that _something_ in Carmilla's eyes lately when she would speak to her and it never failed to make Laura feel weak. “You coming to see the show?”

“Of course!”

Laura looked at the clock; sure enough, it was a twenty minutes to showtime. Time must’ve gotten away from her…

“Hard at work?” Carmilla asked, making her way to Laura, looking at her computer screen. Laura quickly snapped her laptop shut.

“Yeah. You know. The usual, boring stuff.”

“Boring stuff?” Carmilla raised an eyebrow and smirked. She held her hand out. “You mean Danny’s stuff, right? You can’t possibly be talking about me.”

“You’re such a dork,” Laura said, taking Carmilla’s outstretched hand and letting her pull her up. All thoughts of her research disappeared.

“That’s categorically _false_ , cupcake,” Carmilla said, their bodies pressed together a little closer than Laura anticipated. “Now come on. Everyone’s ditched me to call their families; pay attention to me.”

Carmilla pouted a little and it took everything in Laura to maintain any semblance of cool. Her gaze lingered on Carmilla’s lip a little too long - biting her own lip in the process - and when her eyes met Carmilla’s again, Carmilla’s expression had changed.

It made her gulp.

She gently pushed Carmilla away.

“Ugh, musicians are _so_ spoiled,” Laura teased, hoping her tone was light and not at all reflective of how fast her heart was racing.

“Well, what can I say,” Carmilla said, slinging her arm around Laura’s shoulders and leading her off the buss, squishing a little closer as they walked down the steps and out the door. “I’ve grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. One where I’m always around an adorable, nerdy, _intense_ human cupcake.”

“ _So_ spoiled, and broody, _and_ rude,” Laura amended, reaching up and holding the hand that was around her. She looked at Carmilla, who grinned back.

“Walk me to the stage, cupcake.”

“You’re not really giving me any choice,” Laura argued playfully.

Carmilla laughed, leading her inside. “No, but I have a feeling you don’t mind.”

Which, of course, was right. Laura didn’t mind.

She didn’t mind the teasing looks from the other members as they joined Laura and Carmilla backstage. She didn’t mind the glare Will gave them both.

And Laura _really_ didn’t mind the lingering hug she got from Carmilla before she left her side to go on stage.

\---

 _Notes: Hey Natalie! Hope SJ’s feeling better. I know she usually does the videos, but I know you’ll do an awesome job too! I didn’t drop any extra footage in the Dropbox - I don’t think this vlog will need anything added. Maybe some quick edits and cuts. But let me know what you think. A_ rough _transcript is below. You can probably cut a few questions... You’ll see what I mean._

_And you’re not allowed to make fun of me for this._

Me: Hi everyone! Laura here from _The Society_ and I’m here with your official look into Non! Anon.

_< <cut to the Non! Anon tour video intro>>_

Me: I am so excited to welcome Non! Anon! Everyone, say hi!

Non! Anon: Hi!

Me: Welcome to the channel, Carmilla. The others are old pros at this.

LaF: There are too many “first time” jokes I can make and my brain can’t decide which one to use.

Danny: That’s probably for the best.

Carmilla: Shut up.

Kirsch: I don’t get it.

Me: Okay, guys, settle down. We’re here to play a game - which I might regret. But I’m going to name a category, and you all need to tell me which band member suits it! So let’s do this! Superlatives with Non! Anon!

_< <Cut to the super awesome Superlatives with Non! Anon! graphic that I made all by myself in Photoshop, it’s a work of art and it’s in the Dropbox.>>_

<< Note: I was going to transcribe this for you, but everyone spoke over one another! So instead, please enjoy my colorful commentary. Also, enjoy captioning the video! ;) >>

 

> Best Personality: LaFontaine’s face when they all agreed they had the best personality was ADORABLE.
> 
> Best Dancer: They all said Carmilla because APPARENTLY SHE CAN WALTZ. How is she real, Natalie?!
> 
> Best Dressed: They all said themselves, and it led to a really long conversation about personal style. This can be cut, probably. (For the record, I think they all dress the same. The only difference is that LaFontaine wears more bowties and Carmilla wears more leather, but that’s basically it.)
> 
> Best Hair: They all agreed on LaF. I’m glad Kirsch didn't win, I adore him but his Mohawk mullet? No.
> 
> Best Sense of Humor: Somehow Carmilla got this one! I didn’t realize that teasing qualified as a sense of humour.
> 
> Biggest Flirt: Carmilla, LaF and Kirsch all said Danny. And I have nooo idea why, but Danny asked me who I thought, and I didn't answer, so she said Carmilla. You can cut this one, Natalie!
> 
> Life Of The Party: Kirsch and Danny argued for themselves, and LaF, Carmilla and I stayed out if it. Again, this could be cut shorter.
> 
> Biggest Night Owl: They said Carmilla. It's true! I stayed up with her almost all night last night, I was so tired all day. ...We were just talking, Natalie, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong!
> 
> Loudest: They all said Kirsch. He really is.
> 
> Quietest: They all said Carmilla. She can be quiet...until she's on one of her flirty moods, then she doesn't shut up.
> 
> Most Athletic: Again, Kirsch and Danny argued for a while. You can see my face totally zone them out after two seconds. Danny fairly won though.
> 
> Best Laugh: They all said me! Which is so untrue and sweet of them. :) But again, you can cut this!
> 
> Most likely to get arrested: At first they said Carmilla, then they all switched to LaFontaine, because apparently they've almost been arrested for accidental arson. They set fire to their bio lab in high school. LaFontaine is awesome.
> 
> Best Smile: They said LaFontaine. But then Carmila said me for some reason. ...Cut this. You can probably cut this, Natalie.
> 
> Smelliest: I wholeheartedly agree - Kirsch stinks. Always.
> 
> Best Looking: THIS argument went on for too long. As you can see, they didn't choose anyone because they kept choosing themselves. For the sake of the band, I’m glad they didn't. (But I’d say Carmilla is.)
> 
> Most Talented: I thought there was going to be more of an argument about this, but no - Carmilla got this one.

<< _overlay Corvae Corporation logo >>_

Me: We’d like to thank Corvae Corporation for sponsoring this video! We hope everyone watched last Thursday’s video from our visit to the children’s hospital, which Corvae graciously let us all join them on.

Carmilla: Can I say hello to someone?

Me: Uh, sure!

Carmilla: Hi Avneet!

Me: Yes! Hi Avneet! And hello everyone else at the hospital. This has been Laura from The Society with Non! Anon! Thanks for joining us. You can find us all on Twitter and Tumblr - as usual, the links are in the description below!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any questions? Music recs? BLAH questions? [I'm here](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com).  
> Next update is on Sunday. :)


	7. Minneapolis to Chicago

Before the sun even rose the next day, Laura found herself strapped in a flying death trap and she didn’t understand why she signed up for this damn job.

Okay, well - more accurately, she, the band, and Will were all on board a fancy tiny plane. Laura knew she should’ve been more excited by this - as LaFontaine exclaimed as they stepped on the plane, “We’re on a fucking private jet!” - but a plane is a plane, and Laura was terrified. That, coupled with the fact that she’d been up all night researching Will and coming up short of any dirt ( _ugh_ she was sure there had to be _something_ on him!), she was not in a good frame of mind.

The one thing that _didn’t_ suck was, of course, the hand holding hers the entire time. While the others walked around the jet and enjoyed the luxury, Carmilla had not yet left her side, occasionally murmuring support and reassuring her that everything would be okay.

They were flying through a storm to get to Minneapolis.

Laura flinched as the turbulence worsened, the captain asking the others over the intercom to take their seats and buckle their seat belts.

“Have I ever told you about my first kiss?”

Laura whipped her attention from staring out the window at the wing of the plane to Carmilla.

“I was fourteen at boarding school - yes, cupcake, I went to boarding school,” Carmilla said, acknowledging the surprise in Laura’s face. “My siblings and I were sent away to an entirely different continent when we were younger; Maman didn’t want to deal with us ever, really. It was easier for her. When I was twelve, I was sent away and met my dorm roommate. We were inseparable; she was my best friend. She was a year older, she was beautiful and smart and popular. And I was _me_ ,” she said, a sad laugh escaping her. “I was basically the same way I am now, just a little more naive. I had a crush on her for forever, but I had no idea...

“On my fourteenth birthday we snuck out after lights out, found our way to the roof of the building...and I was going on about the stars. Then next thing I knew, she was kissing me. And it was nice - for the first two seconds of it. Then I realized what I was doing, and I pushed her away.” Carmilla smiled, the nostalgia clearly getting to her.

“You didn’t!” Laura gasped.

“I mean, we were at a Catholic boarding school - plus I knew Maman was a _raging_ homophobe, all I’d ever heard growing up was that it was disgusting and against God’s will or whatever. But Ell...she was...lovely. She was sweet and patient, and helped me through my minor little gay panic, before I came to terms with who I was...”

“What happened to Ell?”

“We’re still together.”

“What?!”

Carmilla laughed, intertwining their fingers. “Cupcake, I was a kid when all this happened. I haven’t seen her in years. We were girlfriends, I guess, for a few months before we got caught; Maman pulled me out of the school, away from her, and home schooled me. She put a literal ocean between us. She put me through church therapy, tried to pray the gay thing away. When I was sixteen, I’d had enough. Rebelled, snuck girls in. She caught me, kicked me out… And...yeah. I was in and out of shelters and stuff until I found LaF. And now I’m here.”

Carmilla shrugged, like she hadn’t shared more about her in the last ten minutes than she had in the last few weeks.

Laura felt honoured.

“I don’t know what inspired you to share all that with me, but thank you.” Laura brought their joint hands to her lips and pressed a kiss against it.

“I trust you, cupcake,” Carmilla said shyly. “I trust that you’re not just going to blindly share it with your readers or followers or whatever.”

Laura felt a little bubble of guilt settle in her.

“Plus, well - it distracted you, right?”

Laura looked up - the red seat-belt light was off but everyone was in their seats, some of them sleeping, some of them listening to music. Laura found herself relaxed, for the first time on a plane. She stifled a yawn.

“Here I thought my story was interesting, now I know I’m just boring you.” Carmilla brushed hair out of Laura’s face. “You can sleep, you know. Against my shoulder if you need to.”

Laura smiled and closed her eyes, leaning her head against her. She felt Carmilla let out a contented sigh, and that’s when she realized: the flirtatious, talented, beautiful woman - but also attentive, thoughtful, and smart - was everything she was looking for.

She needed to tell her - and this time she knew she wouldn’t screw up like last time. She tell her as soon as they were alone. And as soon as she’d get more than a few hours of sleep.

Carmilla only let go of her hand when they landed.

\---

“Hi, dad!”

“Hello, sweetheart. How was the flight? How are you?”

“It was good - terrifying but good. And since I’m on solid ground, I’m good too!”

Laura was backstage in Minneapolis. The band was ready to go on stage, and since everyone (except for Carmilla, who was playing games on her phone) was off on Skype or FaceTime with their own families, Laura decided to give her dad a call too. She updated him on the trip so far - having just spoken to him when they were in Banff, she mostly just filled him in on the trip to the children’s hospital.

Carmilla approached as Laura relayed stories of meeting the kids.

“Hot cocoa?” Carmilla passed her a mug, Laura not even pausing her story to receive it, giving Carmilla a smile in thanks. She looked at her dad on the screen; his eyebrows were raised.

“So you have someone there to enable your chocolate addiction?” he asked. “Can I meet this person?” Laura rolled her eyes and picked up her laptop, bringing it over to where Carmilla was fixing herself a mug of hot cocoa.

“Carm, my dad wants to talk to you.”

Carmilla’s eyes got wide, then shook her head no. Too late - Laura positioned the laptop in her arms so it was facing both her and Carmilla.

“Ah, you must be Carmilla,” her father said.

“Must I be?” she responded, stirring her drink. Laura nudged her, hoping her eyes conveyed the message of _play nice with my dad, Carmilla_. Carmilla cleared her throat. “Uh, I mean, hello Mr. Hollis.”

“So you’re the woman Laura won’t shut up about,” he teased. “It’s all ‘Carmilla this, and Carmilla that’ - and every once in awhile she’ll talk about your bandmates, of course.”

“Really.” Carmilla smirked at Laura, who _hated_ how red she turned. It was even worse that she could see it reflected at her in the Skype window.

“ _Really_. All good things, don’t worry.”

“Then I don’t know how truthful your daughter is being with you, sir.”

Laura’s dad laughed. “And now I find out that she’s convinced you to be complicit in her chocolate dependency.”  

“Well, Laura can be pretty persuasive. I mean, I’m sure you’ve been around her when she’s been without.”

“That’s true. Laura’s impossible without her hot cocoa.”

“Uh, guys, Laura’s _right here_ ,” Laura said, failing to break up the teasing fest she was enduring.

“Laura, please, I’m talking to your friend,” her dad said, waving his hand. “So Carmilla, how have you been enjoying the tour? Laura tells me that you and the others haven’t had much time to yourselves.”

Carmilla cleared her throat. “It’s been fine. We’re not afraid of hard work. It’s been fun, in spite of the company, of course,” Carmilla added, throwing another grin at Laura.

“Carmilla’s funny, Laura - which you’d already mentioned to me before. Once or twice,” her dad said.

“Possibly more?” Carmilla asked.

“Probably,” he confirmed.

Laura grumbled. “You both suck.”

 _Thankfully_ , Will interrupted. “Show’s on in 10 minutes guys, wrap up your calls!”

Kirsch let out a loud groan from the other end of the room, vocalizing how everyone felt.

“Oops, gotta go, love you dad, please never talk to Carmilla again,” Laura said, ignoring her dad’s chuckle and quickly hanging up the call.

Carmilla smiled at her, altogether too smugly for Laura’s liking.

“Stop that.”

“So, you can’t shut up about me? I’m funny, you say?” Carmilla nudged her. “What else am I, cutie?”

“Obviously I should retract that. Clearly, I was wrong.”

“It’s fine, I’m flattered. No reason for all this twitchiness.”

“There is no twitching. There is an absence of twitching.”

“Clearly.”

\---

The concert and corporate gig went well in Minneapolis. The two days there seemed to blur together in Laura’s mind - things were so routine and structured, that it was hard for Laura to really pick-out what was unique about it. She felt bad - every gig _was_ different, every crowd was different. But life on the road _did_ bring a certain amount of monotony.

(Except LaFontaine did give Laura a shout-out on stage for the first time, before breaking into, “a new cover we’ve been working on for our next EP that we’ve already started - it’s _Every Breath You Take_ by The Police.”)

Before she knew it, they arrived in Chicago. They were sent straight to their hotel where the band was were briefed on their next music video, which they were filming that day.

It was for Non! Anon’s cover of _Need You Tonight_ by INXS and Laura actually liked it a lot. It was definitely the most popular song played live - it could be the arrangement, which was a little darker than the original, or it could’ve been the vocals - while LaFontaine still sang lead on the first verse, Carmilla took the lead on the bridge and chorus. There was something undeniably sexy about the way she sang, “ _you’re one of my kind._ ”

The director, a man named Joseph - who’d worked on the “third most recent” Justin Bieber music video (Laura held back a gag when he bragged about his work) - was about to go over the concept, and as he pulled out the storyboard, she immediately noticed a major lack of the band - except for rough sketches of what looked like Carmilla.

“So, Carmilla, you’re the star today.”

Laura felt Carmilla physically shrink in her seat as all eyes fell on her. The other members looked annoyed, but no one said anything as Joseph he went through the concept.

“No.”

“No?” Joseph laughed mockingly, “Love, sorry - you’re the most popular member,” again, Laura looked at the others - they looked less than impressed by him, “and the fans want to see your face.”

Carmilla crossed her arms.

He rubbed his temples and looked at Will.

“The band loves it,” Will said, giving everyone a warning glare. “Right, guys?”

The members grunted in affirmation.

The concept was simple and _not at all_ original: Carmilla was going to be filmed around Chicago, on a day-long ‘date’, trying to woo a girl - a model who the record company had ‘pre-selected’. Carmilla would take pictures of the two on their date (using a fancy new camera from Lophii, an up-and-coming electronics company) and send them to the band, who’d be waiting for her for a gig.

The two would share a kiss. Then Carmilla would finally meet up with the band, and it would end with them all performing on top of the hotel building, for a midnight gig. Fans of the band would make up the crowd, all of whom entered a competition to be in it, sponsored by, of course, Lophii.

(Laura internally groaned at the cliche music video concept.)  

Laura felt Carmilla stiffen, and was certain she was about to have an outburst when Will cleared his throat and stared her down. Her eyes narrowed but she leaned back.

“Fine.”

Everyone let go of the breath they were holding.

\---

There was a strange energy in the room, a combination of excitement and disappointment from the entire band.

They were in a room in the hotel that was repurposed as wardrobe/hair/make-up. Carmilla was in the chair, getting ready for her day of filming. The other members were been hanging around, still wanting to be part of the process despite not being filmed until much later.

The energy had shifted though, as they were all silent and eavesdropping on Joseph in the hallway having a meltdown with the casting agency.

“What do you mean she’s sick?! We need her _today!_ ”

Faint, unintelligible murmuring from the other end of the phone could be heard.

_“FINE.”_

Joseph stomped back into the room. “Change of plans - the girl who was going to play your date? She can’t come in. Something about mono. I told her agent it wasn’t a big deal, but she insisted she wouldn’t work.”

Carmilla raised her furrowed eyebrows incredulously. “You think me getting _mono_ isn’t a big deal?”

“But! I have five headshots here, all of women who do _not_ have a little cold,” Joseph said, ignoring her, “so choose a girl, and she’ll come.”

He handed over a folder. Carmilla rolled her eyes and refused the pile of headshots. She gestured towards Laura.

“Laura should do it.”

And everyone stopped moving. Laura felt everyone’s eyes on hers and she quickly scanned the room. LaFontaine had a shit-eating grin. Danny looked impressed. Kirsch was confused. Will looked...something; annoyed but intrigued.

And Carmilla? She looked like she was challenging her, as she always did, but there was a something else there that she’d only seen a handful of times. When they were writing the song, before Will caught them. On the fire escape in Winnipeg, before the car alarm went off. On the plane to Minneapolis.

And before she could listen to the rational part of her brain who was screaming for her to _not_ , Laura muttered out, “Uh, okay.”

It was almost worth the massive embarrassment to see the shock in Carmilla’s face.

“...Great!” Joseph clapped his hands. “Let’s get you into make-up too. And wardrobe. You might need to wear your own jeans though, the woman we had coming in was 5’9.”

\---

After a frantic call to her editor - who laughed, and thought it was a great idea - she was thrown into the deep end. She had a quick wardrobe fitting then hair and make-up, and she and Carmilla were outside the hotel, filming a scene of the two of them walking down the street, hands intentionally brushing against each other but not holding each other.

Laura felt glamorous. She felt important.

During the fifth take - seriously, they needed every angle of them walking, apparently - Carmilla leaned against her and said, “You look beautiful, Laura.”

She’s pretty sure she heard Joseph say, “That’s the shot!” after that take.

Every scenario was a build-up from the last, the two having to act progressively more flirtatious as the day went on.

They filmed in a bookstore near the hotel, chasing each other through the stacks of books, before stumbling into one another, almost sharing a kiss before being asked to leave by the “store manager” (who was actually one of the lighting guys from their tour crew).

They filmed at the skatepark, where Carmilla had to teach Laura how to skateboard. There were lots of tight shots of lingering touches, their faces close together, Carmilla’s hands on Laura’s back, her waist, her shoulders.

And if Laura could ignore the crowds, the cameras, and the director yelling at them, she could pretend that this was a real date. I mean, she was barely acting. Things were _easy_ with Carmilla. Having to act like she was enamoured with the woman wasn’t a stretch.

Stopping herself from escalating every take though? _That_ was a little difficult.

Laura’s last shot was the kiss scene. Joseph blocked out a good hour for the shot, before they’d film the rest of the band’s scenes. They were filming in hotel conference room, which had been set-up to look like the inside of a small elevator. Because, _naturally_ , that’s where Carmilla would kiss a girl at the end of a date, right? Pressed up against the wall of an elevator.

Oh god. She’d have to kiss her.

In front of everyone.

_Oh god._

All she could do was pace in the stairwell for the next ten minutes, until she was to be called on set.

She wrung her hands together, trying to find the will to _girl the hell up_ and just kiss the woman she had developed some _minor_ (major) feelings for in front of a group of strangers, to be shown to people all around the world. Like her dad.

 _Oh god_.

Her _dad_ was going to see this.

“Ugh!” she yelled out.

“Cupcake, we don’t have to do this,” said a voice, pulling her from her thoughts. She whirled around and found Carmilla, standing at the doorway, an amused smile on her face. “Hiding?”

“ _No._ Not hiding. Just...this is my process. As an actor.”

Carmilla stepped into the stairwell, closing the door behind her. Laura couldn’t help but trace her eyes down her body, reflexively admiring the woman. All day they had to “pretend” to be two people with an insurmountable level of unresolved sexual tension. Eye contact - lots of it, along with lots of touching and flirting and smiling - was encouraged. Necessary. Laura essentially had to suffer through looking directly at the sun all day, but without sunglasses.

Right now, she could unabashedly gawk at the woman, without feeling the pressure of the cameras in her face. Not that Carmilla noticed - she seemed to be looking everywhere but directly at the her.

Carmilla laughed nervously.

“The groaning? Is your last scene really that horrifying? Seriously, Laura,” Carmilla continued, “if this is too much, we can ask for the scene to be re-written. It’s a lot to ask of you and I should probably apologize for...springing this on you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” Carmilla stopped in front of Laura, gently tucking a strand of Laura’s hair behind her ear, watching her finger’s movement, never looking Laura in the eye. “I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing this and I should’ve talked to you about being in the video before throwing you to the lions.” She settled her hands on Laura’s shoulders, trailing her fingers up towards her neck and back down.

“Carm, it’s okay,” Laura said, moving her hands to Carmilla’s hips, unconsciously drawing her closer. “I really don’t mind. It’s for the band right?”

Carmilla shrugged.

“Plus,” Laura added, with a smirk, “I’ve had an alright day.”

Carmilla smiled at her teasing. “It’s been fun.”

She could see into the deep brown of Carmilla’s eyes, the barely-there flecks of gold within her irises, drawing her in...

Seemingly at the same time, they realized their proximity. Laura let out a shaky breath, her head spinning, before pulling away and dropping onto the steps.

 _No_ , she needed to focus. In few minutes she was required to kiss this _incredible_ woman in front of twenty-odd strangers, for several takes. A woman who she had a _massive_ crush on - not even a crush, it was well beyond that.

She ran her hand through her hair and groaned again. “I’ve...I’ve kissed like, five people in my life, much less kissed someone in front of a camera.”

“I haven’t kissed anyone on camera before either, sweetheart.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but you’re _you_. I bet you’ve kissed _way_ more than five people. And really, one of mine doesn’t even count, ‘cause he was a boy and he was terrible.”

Carmilla sat next to her, placing her hand on Laura’s knee, eyebrows raised.

“That doesn’t matter though, Laura. This is still...new to me. I’ve never...” Carmilla trailed off and shifted, turning herself so she was facing Laura more. Finally, their eyes met. “All of this feels new to me, because it’s with you.”

Taking a deep breath, mustering all the confidence she had left in her, Laura asked something that’d been eating at her all day.

“Is this going to make things weird?” Laura asked, her eyes searching Carmilla’s. “I don’t want things to get weird, we _just_ got back to a good place...and I feel like it’s all...weird.”

“This is weird, cupcake,” Carmilla agreed, but with a gentle squeeze to her knee, she continued, “but it won’t make things weird with us, okay?”

“But this is such a _weird_ situation. I mean, I’m only here ‘cause the actress couldn’t show up, I know you didn’t choose _me_ , but-”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Carmilla said, her eyebrows furrowing. “Of course I chose you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone _but_ you.”

The two stared, the intensity of the moment nearly overwhelming Laura. They were so close together, Laura could feel Carmilla’s breath against her lips, she could smell her shampoo, her perfume, _her_. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

And suddenly, Carmilla’s hand was in her hair, taking Laura’s breath away and pulling her mouth to hers. And as their lips touched, Laura felt every nerve in her body come alive.

Carmilla immediately set a languid, torturous pace, a pace that drove Laura insane. This was unlike any other kiss she’d had before. There was no hesitation, as she let herself sink into Carmilla’s arms.

They clutched at each other, Carmilla’s hands fisted in Laura’s hair, almost desperately, like she was afraid at any moment Laura would snap out of it and stop her.

Laura wouldn’t. Not when her body hummed, something stirring in her, not when Carmilla’s lips were _impossibly_ soft and warm. She slid her tongue against Carmilla’s bottom lip, feeling her heart race even more at the sound of her groan. She let out her own groan, as Carmilla opened her mouth, deepening the kiss.

They didn’t stop until Carmilla pulled back, almost trembling. Her eyes searched Laura’s, who leaned forward again, bringing their lips together and licking into her mouth, not wanting this to stop.

Despite the urgency, there was a sweetness, a tenderness.

Laura knew Carmilla felt the same. And she never wanted stop kissing this woman.

But she had to, and she did, shakily keeping her arms around Carmilla, Carmilla keeping her forehead pressed against hers. They breathed heavily, both of them letting their racing hearts slow down. Then Carmilla, uncharacteristically shyly, said, “I should go back to set…”

She slowly, regretfully, let go of Laura, who leaned forward, grabbing Carmilla’s hand as she stood.

“I’ll see you there. Let me just,” Laura reached up, fixing Carmilla’s collar, which had gotten disheveled. “There. Perfect.”

Carmilla was clearly flustered; she blushed and said, “We might need to have a quick touch-up with make-up, actually. I’ll go first - I’ll get the brunt of the jeers, I guess.”

Laura stood up, giving Carmilla a gentle, sweet kiss on her lips. “We’re good?”

“I sure hope so, cutie,” Carmilla said, with a laugh, before leaving Laura alone in the stairwell.

\---

“And cut! Laura, that’s a wrap on you!”

The two pulled away, blushing immediately as everyone on the crew gave Laura polite applause.

It took eight takes to get the final shot. Much to Laura’s embarrassment, they needed a few reminders to, “keep things PG-13”. But seriously, what did they expect?

Kissing Carmilla was indescribable. And it was _not_ the worst thing in the world, to be pressed up against the side of a fake elevator, making out with a beautiful woman.

 _Sure_ , it was probably going to be profoundly embarrassing to watch. And it was _really_ unsexy to be in a room with twenty other people. And she still hadn’t figured out how to tell her dad that she was going to be, in the _disgusting_ words of one of the production assistants, “a video ho” (Laura corrected the kid - she was a _music video love interest_ and that term was super inappropriate and disrespectful).

But take after take, what Laura focused on in place of all those distractions was Carmilla’s lips, Carmilla’s eyes, Carmilla’s flushed cheeks. She anchored herself in Carmilla, letting her take the lead, following Joseph’s direction, along for the ride, as she always was.

What _really_ blew her away though, was that Carmilla seemed to be anchoring herself in Laura too, making sure that Laura was okay, searching her eyes for consent, waiting for Laura to nod, before kissing her again. Leaning into Laura, as Joseph would tell them to try it again, but with less urgency, then again with more, or to try it sweetly, like a first kiss, and then again like they were practiced lovers.

“That was kind of hot,” Danny said, clearly impressed as the two moved away from the set. She was fully made up - the band were about to film in the “elevator”, a quick performance of the song, with Carmilla. LaFontaine and Kirsch had already taken their spots in front of the camera. “The unresolved sexual tension really works for you two."

Laura’s blush _probably_ deepened, and Carmilla grimaced a little. Danny looked confused between the two women’s reactions.

Realization covered her face. “Oh. _Oh_!” She said excitedly. “It’s _not_ unresolved? You guys hooked up finally? Wait, _when_?”

 _“Ten minutes to filming!”_ Joseph yelled from the other end of the room.

Carmilla glared, protectively putting her arm around Laura’s shoulders, leading her out of the room and away from the set. “Laura, let’s get you out of here.”

“Is it _kind of_ resolved?” Danny called out to their retreating backs. “I need to know if LaFontaine owes me money, Carmilla!”

\---

“Was today okay?”

Carmilla asked as she walked Laura down the corridor, away from the crew who had gathered outside. They turned the corner and opened to door to the stairwell from before, walking in.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Laura leaned forward, pressing her lips against Carmilla’s. As lovely as it was to kiss her on screen, it was even more perfect while they were alone.

“Definitely. More than okay,” she punctuated with another kiss.

Carmilla grinned which Laura returned with a giggle. Laura’s smile grew as she leaned forward to kiss her, feeling Carmilla’s smile against hers. Her hands grabbed Carmilla’s hair, deepening the kiss. It was slow, languid - the precursor to something more.

She hadn’t remembered kissing someone as much as she’d kissed Carmilla in the last hour or so in her life; she hadn’t ever _wanted_ to kiss someone as much as she wanted to kiss Carmilla.

In Carmilla’s dizzying kiss, Laura had never felt more grounded, more certain.

Their hips pressed together, causing Laura to bite back a moan. Carmilla pushed against her again, pushing Laura against the wall and slipping a her thigh between her legs. Laura stopped herself from grinding against her.

They probably should slow down.

“We should probably talk about this,” Laura offered, as Carmilla pressed a kiss against her neck, pulling a ragged breath from her lips.

Carmilla nodded, before peppering her lips along her collarbone, sucking when she reached the nape of her neck.

“This is _you_ we’re talking about, we’ll probably talk about this for hours,” Carmilla spoke, her lips brushing against her skin. “But right now, for the next minute before someone starts looking for me,” Carmilla continued, kissing back up her neck to her lips, making her lose her breath, “I want to just keep doing this. Away from everyone. Because filming that, everyone watching us, everyone being part of that, was like torture.”

Carmilla pulled away, staring Laura in the eyes.

“I don’t want to share you, Laura.”

\---

The video finished filming late, the band “playing” the song several times (the instruments and mics were all unplugged, and they lip-synced each performance) on the roof. Laura’s reaction was filmed from the crowd as well, which lead some of the band’s fans to pay _extra_ close attention to her for the rest of the night. Some of them recognized her from the tour vlogs and _The Society_. A few of them asked for selfies with her, which she was happy to do (and totally shocked she was asked).

At the end of the night, Non! Anon played a few acoustic songs for the fans who won the contest. It was a brisk night, but the warmth from their fans made it bearable (it was a cliche, Laura knew it, but it was true).

They even did an acoustic cover that _wasn’t_ from the 90s or 80s. Laura couldn’t even stop herself from laughing when Carmilla introduced, “Here’s _Elevator Love Letter_ by Stars.”

Laura stayed behind the scenes for that to film the group for the vlog. She couldn’t stop watching Carmilla though, but this time, every time Carmilla would catch her looking, she wouldn’t look away.

\---

@DannyLawrence: #NonAnonMV2 in the can! I’ve seen things I can’t unsee but I also performed for some awesome fans on a roof of a building! Can’t complain!

@KirschNonAnon: I like how I look in makeup. #NonAnonMV2

@NonLaFonNon: This elevator just got 87% less steamy than it was a few minutes ago... #WheredCarmillaGo #NonAnonMV2 << Attached photo: Selfie of the band about to film in the fake elevator, minus Carmilla >>

@Laura2TheSociety: @NonLaFonNon There was no steam! There was an absence of steam!

@Laura2TheSociety: A pretty great day. #NonAnonOnTour #NonAnonMV2 << Attached photo: Selfie of Laura and Carmilla, taken at the skate park. >>

@CarmillaAnon: Don't go, say you'll stay / Spend a lazy Sunday / In my arms, I won't take / Anything away

Trending Worldwide:  
#NonAnonMV2  
#CarmillaAndLaura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I'm here.](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com/)


	8. Chicago (continued)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to platypiandi for her beta-ing! Sorry for the delay in getting this out. It's still Sunday morning where I live!

Laura didn’t sleep. Despite finally being in a bed and not a bunk, off the bus and in an unmoving hotel, she tossed and turned all night. Could you blame her though? After her day, she couldn’t shut her thoughts off.

The video. The flirting. The kissing.

 _Mmm_ , kissing Carmilla.

She managed to drag herself out of bed and got ready for the day, hoping that would help her exhausted, sleep deprived body. While the shower head sprayed water down her back, Laura had two prevailing thoughts:

  1. What were they? 
  2. When would she kiss Carmilla next?



Were they anything? Carmilla was _clearly_ interested in more, but in what way, Laura had no idea. She wished they had a chance to speak after but between the fans and the crew, and trying to avoid Will - who said he wanted to speak to them both "about their little 'performance'” - Laura went back to her room shortly after they wrapped.

She did manage to give Carmilla a quick - innocuous, really - peck on the lips before leaving (not before pulling Carmilla aside, away from the prying eyes of the crew and fans on set). 

After getting ready, Laura went through her schedule. The band had a radio interview that morning, a meet and greet, then the concert. It was going to be a pretty standard day.

Laura had a block of time set aside for writing the article and researching the Silas connection, if there was one at all. And despite promising Carmilla that she wouldn’t include her boarding school background, Laura wrote about it in her notes anyway. Not that she was going to send it to  _The Society_. She just wanted it...for posterity.

When she got to the lobby, equipment on the ready, Carmilla was already there with a two drinks in her hands.

And all the fluttering and nerves came back, as Carmilla looked up at her and smiled - the small smile that Laura swore was only reserved for her. 

“Hot cocoa for you,” she said as Laura approached. Laura barely held back her giggle as she leaned forward, kissing her cheek before accepting the drink.

“Thanks, Carm.”

She noted the blush on Carmilla’s face as she pulled away.

And seemingly all at once, her concerns from earlier disappeared.

If she was certain about anything, it was Carmilla.

“You left pretty quickly last night, cupcake. Everything okay?” Carmilla looked unsure. Laura took her hand.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to stick around for whatever Will was going to say to us.”

“So we’re good?”

“Of course we are.”

Carmilla let out a sigh of relief. “Don’t worry about him. He said some crap about you being a distraction or whatever - I tuned him out. Just ignore him.”

Laura nodded.

“So I was thinking,” Carmilla, intertwining their fingers, “maybe it’d be a good time to do a vlog with you? Today or tomorrow when we’re on the road?”

“That’d be amazing!”

“Wouldn’t want to disappoint your fans, cupcake.”

\---

The day was hard.

Not only were they all tired from filming the day before, but their radio interview went _terribly_. The DJ didn’t even bother learning their names, didn’t seem to care about who they were. He made a lot of gross, misogynistic comments; more than once Danny snapped at him. Carmilla nearly left halfway through, LaFontaine zoned out entirely, and Kirsch had his fists clenched the entire time.

Will was no help either, grinning and shaking hands with the DJ after the interview.

“You all seem seem tense, what’s up?” he asked in the van ride to the venue.

“ _Seriously_ , Will?” LaFontaine rolled their eyes. "That was one of the worst things we've ever gone through."

“Please, it went well! It was _hilarious_ when he called you a pimp, Kirsch.”

Laura felt like she needed to be with them as emotional support, ‘cause Will was useless, so instead of working on her article, she sat and watched their soundcheck.

This garnered a fair amount of not-so-subtle comments from the others.

“Check, check, check, check out Carmilla checking out Laura,” Danny said, as she stepped forward to her mic.

Then later: “Hey guys, Danny, Kirsch and I have been working on a new cover. We’d like to dedicate it Carmilla and Laura,” LaFontaine said, before Danny played the opening chords to a _very_ familiar song on her guitar. “ _I've been really tryin', baby - tryin' to hold back these feeling for so long. And if you feel, like I feel, baby, then come on, oh come on! Let's get it on...’_ ”

And Kirsch joined in with his own: “Okay, I’m going to test the bass drum now. I’ll also show everyone what Carmilla’s beating heart sounds like.” Kirsch kicked the bass drum in a two beat rhythm, with each beat saying: “ _Lau-Ra._ _Lau-Ra._ _Lau-Ra._ ”

Laura didn’t think she could turn as red as she did, sinking further in her seat, as the crew laughed at the band’s banter.

But what surprised Laura was that each jeer didn’t really seem to bother Carmilla - she blushed, and told everyone to shut up, but she didn’t lose her temper. And she laughed. Giggled, really, which only goaded the others on.

It _was_ kind of nice to see them all in better spirits.

When soundcheck ended, Carmilla jumped off the front of the stage and walked to where Laura was sitting in the audience.

“I’m sorry my bandmates are idiots, cutie,” she said, taking Laura’s outstretched hands and pulling her into a hug.

“Get a room!” Kirsch’s voice boomed from the microphone.

The two turned around; the others stood on stage, waving and making kissy faces.

Carmilla flipped them off.

\--

While Non! Anon made their way to their meet and greet, Laura decided to go back to the dressing room and work on her article. While she really wanted to continue to be around them (Carmilla), she _did_ have a job to do - as evidenced by the number of emails she had piling up in her inbox.

As she was about to enter the room, the door already open, she stopped, hearing voices inside.

“I spoke to her yesterday; she’s not happy,” Will’s voice said. Laura leaned against the wall next to the entrance, hoping that she wouldn’t be seen.

“William, she is _never_ happy.” Mattie’s voice. She didn’t know Mattie was joining them today...

“Look, she thinks we should be pushing them more. There’s a lot of interest in them right now and I’ve made new contacts who want to use them.” Will sounded frustrated. She heard Mattie breathe out a condescending laugh. “And she doesn’t like how close Laura has gotten to Carmilla.”

His pointed tone surprised Laura. She leaned forward, to look into the room, and saw Mattie roll her eyes.

“ _Please_ , we both know she’s paranoid any time Carmilla has _any_ consistent human interaction. That’s how we all got into this mess in the first place.”

Will raised his eyebrows. “So you don’t think we should be worried about Laura?”

“The only thing I’m worried about, William, is if my villa in Morocco will be ready for me next month. I don’t think we need to be worried about anything _she_ gets worked up about for no reason.”

Who was _she_?

Will huffed; Mattie put a hand on his shoulder. She somehow managed to make this caring gesture seem condescending. “And I don’t feel comfortable pushing them any more than we already are; we both know they’re all exhausted. I still disagree with you lying to them about having their family visit. It would’ve been fine.”

“Have you lost your mind? Number one, not having their family around has kept them focused. Number two, we _both_ know Little Red’s girlfriend is too perceptive for her own good.”

“Her paranoia is rubbing off on you, William.”

“Whatever. We got rid of her, that’s all that matters.”

Laura gasped. She clamped her hand over her mouth, immediately.

Mattie looked up - her eyes locked with Laura’s. Laura almost spoke up, to apologize for lingering, when Mattie, almost imperceptibly, shook her head _no_ , telling her to stay. Will, not seeing this exchange or noticing Laura, visibly relaxed.

“Come on, Mattie. It’ll just be a quick trip; it’s nothing.”

“For another one of her friends?” Mattie looked up at Laura again, almost as if she wanted make sure she was still listening.

Of _course_ she was still listening.

“ _Yes_. It’ll get Maman off my back - it’ll get Laura away from Carmilla and Maman wants them to film a couple more commercials for her connections in Silicon Valley-”

Will stopped, following Mattie’s eye line and seeing Laura. Laura immediately, awkwardly, entered the room.

“Um. Hi. I just wanted to grab my stuff…”

She could see Will clench his jaw. He glared as she grabbed her bag and started tossing her equipment in.

Mattie cleared her throat, shooting Will a glance.

“Your latest blog about Non! Anon’s new music video was _precious_ , Gidget. I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Mattie said.

“Uh, yeah! I did,” Laura answered, zipping up her backpack. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your meeting, I’ll just get my stuff and leave -”

“- You know, I’m good friends with Joseph Cheung, the director,” Mattie continued, ignoring her. Will continued to glare. “He sent me some of the footage. Your chemistry with Carmilla was palpable. I can see why she likes you. There's something unspoiled here. That's alluring. For a while, anyway.”

Mattie _booped_ her finger over Laura’s nose, giving her a patronizing smile. Laura shrunk in on herself. Was _everything_ Mattie did a power move? And Will barked out a laugh. _God_ , he had a punchable face. She wished she could krav maga his face off.

“William,” Mattie said, turning to him, her expression darkening, “we should continue our discussion tomorrow.”

“It’s too late. Everything’s been finalized; we’re leaving tomorrow night.”

“We are?” Laura asked, voice tiny, looking between the two.

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “You’re going to Nashville with the crew. The band and I are going to San Francisco.”

Mattie, clearly displeased, sighed. It lasted only a moment, her standard, in-control smile replacing her expression.

“Well. It looks like it’s all been decided.” She started at Will for a beat before raising her eyebrows. “You can go now, William. Don’t you have a band to,” she cleared her throat, “ _manage_?”

He scowled and left the room, muttering about babysitting a, “shitty cover band.”

“How much did you hear?” Mattie asked, when she was certain he was gone.

“Nothing. Not really. Nothing at all, really,” Laura lied. Which was pointless and she was a terrible liar, as evidenced by the raise of Mattie’s eyebrows and her crossed her arms.

“Fine. I heard a bit. Like, who’s Maman?”

Mattie smiled.

“I wasn’t lying. I like you. You’re inquisitive. You should be careful and you probably know it, but you’re too curious. It’s a good trait for a journalist. It’s a bad trait for who you’re messing with. But I like you nonetheless.”

And with that, she turned and left the room, leaving Laura _so_ confused.

Who was Maman?

Wait, didn’t Carmilla call her mother ‘Maman’?

\---

“So, tell me what you’ve learned about Carmilla since we last spoke.”

“Uh…” Laura said, trailing off. She was alone on the bus, on the phone with Cochrane who called while Laura was in the middle of a super intense research binge. She wanted an update. An update that Laura kind of, sort of, _maybe_ had.

But she kind of, sort of, _maybe_ didn’t want to tell her anything.

Yet.

Ever.

“Hollis. Come on. What’s the scoop? You have to know something, anything? You’ve been with them for weeks.”

Laura paced. Should she tell her? Should she tell her about how Carmilla was kicked out of her home when she was younger? That Laura there might be a huge conspiracy with a gigantic conglomerate behind the band?

Should she? Or should she figure out more?

Should she talk to Carmilla first?

 _Ugh._ She should talk to Carmilla first...

“Look, I’ve _tried_. She’s kind of a closed book,” Laura lied.

Cochrane tsked. “Well that’s disappointing. Look, I read your outline for the article, and it needs... _meat_. It needs something, otherwise it’s dry and boring, and you, Laura, are not a dry and boring writer. And you know who else isn’t dry or boring? Carmilla. Your article needs more Carmilla.”

She sounded disappointed and Laura, always too eager for her own good, wanted nothing more than to have her editor’s approval. She could tell her...she could tell her a _little_.

“Okay. There _is_ something going on, between Glittering Diamond Records and _someone_ behind the band...maybe. Possibly. Every gig the band has done that’s not been part of the tour hasn’t been connected to their record company, but rather to Silas Industries. It seems like the record company reps don’t even support the big promotional aspect of their tour…”

Cochrane let out a laugh. “Are you _serious_ , Laura? You’re not allowed to hold out on us ever again. This is _something_.” Laura couldn’t help herself - she beamed. “I need you to keep digging. Find out what you can about Silas, about who the band are performing for. Find out _why_.”

Cochrane decided to get J.P. to help Laura work on the Silas angle while S.J. and Natalie would continue helping with the regular stuff.

“Don’t let _anyone_ find out what you’re doing. Don’t even tell S.J. or Natalie. I’ll get our lawyers to review our contract with Glittering Diamond. This could be huge for us, but I don’t want them to sue us into bankruptcy over it.”

\---

After the call, Laura trudged back to the dressing room. It was about a half-hour to the show, so the band were just finishing up their pre-show rituals.

Kirsch and Danny were doing pushups, as many as they could in two minutes, both of them trying to out-do the others. LaF and Carmilla ran scales, pushing each other to go higher and watching each other’s pitch.

They were a little more energized - meeting fans tended to do that for them, Laura noticed - but they still look exhausted.

When they finished, at ten minutes to showtime, Danny disappeared, calling home. Kirsch had his phone out too, texting his bros. And LaFontaine was in the bathroom - the only place where they could have some genuine quiet - FaceTiming with Perry. She noticed that they’d been doing this more and more often, separating from each other to connect with their families and lives back home.

Now knowing what she knew - that their separation was intentional - she felt _awful_. She pulled out her phone and sent her dad a quick text, updating him on her day.

Carmilla plopped down on the couch next to Laura, putting her feet up on the coffee table and slinging her arm across Laura’s shoulders.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Laura said, shyly tucking her hair behind her ears. She put her phone away. Carmilla had this _grin_ on her face - it was altogether _too_ knowing, mischievous, vaguely dangerous and _waaaay_ too sexy. And it’d been too long since they’d last kissed and Laura _really_ wanted to kiss her again…

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk, have we?”

“Not since yesterday.”

“Not since yesterday,” Carmilla agreed. “Okay, I’m just going to get this out, before the others come back and interrupt me and I have to go out there.” She nervously tugged at the bottom of her cropped shirt, picking at a fray in the material. While Laura was charmed by how tense Carmilla seemed talking to her, she _hated_ how she could see her stomach...ugh, even when she was nervous, Carmilla was effortlessly hot.

“Carm,” Laura said, reaching up to where her hand was resting on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. It seemed to have calmed the woman immediately. “What’s up?”

“Tomorrow, we have the morning off before we do that show for the Corvae Corporation or whatever, there’s a record store here that I’ve always wanted to check out, and I need to get the fuck away from everyone…so did you want to come with me?”

“Of course!” Laura answered, laughing at Carmilla’s nerves.

“Great!” Carmilla beamed. “It’s...a date,” she added, shyly.

 _Oh_. Laura felt her face flush.

“A date!” Laura nearly yelled her answer, enthusiastically.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, sweetheart,” Carmilla said, before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

\---

Laura stood at the side of the stage with their music tech and filmed the show. She felt a presence move next to her and looked beside her. _Will._ She rolled her eyes and refocused on filming the audience.

“How’s it going, Hollis?” She had no idea _how_ he did it, but he was always _so_ creepy. “Have you found anything particularly juicy?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Laura answered, ignoring him. She focused the lense on a fan sign that read, “LAFON-TAKE ME!”

“You’re the one eavesdropping on private conversations, sweetheart,” Will answered. In that moment, Carmilla looked away from the crowd at Laura and winked. “Your performance yesterday, by the way - believable. _Really_ believable. You’re really taking this ‘getting to know the band’ shit seriously, Yoko.”

Laura’s eyes narrowed. She told herself to not let him bother her, but _ugh_ he was so annoying.

“Clever.”

Laura moved away from the side stage, turning her camera off. Will followed her backstage, further down the hall. He grabbed her elbow; Laura shrugged off his hand.

_“What?”_

“A word of warning: She’s always been like this.” Will lowered his voice as a venue staff person walked past. “She’s quick to fall; doesn’t think. Doesn’t care how it’ll affect other people. She’s really one of the most selfish people I’ve ever known.”

Laura’s eyebrows furrowed; she felt a swell of protectiveness come over her. “You’ve barely known her for six months, _right_? I mean, if what you’ve told me is true.”

“What did you hear when I was talk to Mattie?” Worry flashed in Will’s eyes.

“What did you not want me to hear?” Laura countered, trying her hardest to look threatening. She figured out how to play him - he was easy to rile up, and once he was, he overshared. Laura pressed, not even letting the distracting cheers of the crowd get to her.

“Real mature, _blogger_. Just stay away from Carmilla. You’re not the first distraction we’ve had to deal with, you won’t be the last.”

“Distraction?”

“Do you think Lola Perry _earned_ that internship, keeping her from her beloved LaFontaine? She was planning on tagging along with them this summer so _we_ made other arrangements.” He crossed his arms, puffing his chest out. He used every inch of height over her. Laura held her own.

“So you placed her in a prestigious internship, how sinister,” she mocked.

“We could do for _you_ much worse. Would you like to test us?”

“Who’s us? Mattie?” Laura asked, incredulously. “ _Maman?_ ”

Will blanched.

“Don’t be stupid, Laura,” Will warned. “You think you can hold your own here, but you can’t. Don’t even try. And don’t bother telling the others what I told you. We can take all of this - your job, your career, _Carmilla_ \- away from you. Easily.”

He turned down the hall, leaving Laura more confused than ever.

She had to talk to Lola Perry.

\---

_Notes: Hey guys...this video is a mess. We probably shouldn’t post it. But maybe I’m just sending it to you so you can all be impressed by my smooth flirting skills? ...I’m just kidding. You’re not allowed to make fun of me for this one, either. Anyway, the Dropbox has the footage from the music video and some footage from Minneapolis and Chicago. Use it however you like - the edits for the last video were fantastic! Great job guys!_

Me: Hi everyone! Laura here from _The Society_ and I’m here with your official look into Non! Anon.

_< <cut to the Non! Anon tour video intro>>_

Me: By popular, incessant demand, here’s Carmilla!

Carmilla: Hey.

Me: We could use a little more enthusiasm, Carm.

Carmilla: _Hey_.

Me: So I’ve had a ton of questions that fans want to know about you, do you mind answering a couple?

Carmilla: Anything for you, cutie.

Me: Uh, okay! So what’s your pre-show ritual?

Carmilla: I run scales with LaFontaine, I do a couple warm-ups on the guitar, ‘cause I’m still getting used to it, and then I find you wherever you are and I bug you.

Me: It’s...you’re never bugging me. ...Okay, you bug me constantly. What has your favourite tour memory been so far?

Carmilla: My favourite? Well...the fans have been great. Great energy every night.

Me: Definitely. They really love your solo in Need You Tonight.

Carmilla: They’re sweet. And hanging out with the band has been cool. We haven’t been able to see much of the places we’ve been, but when we have it’s been nice.

Me: Absolutely.

Carmilla: And I really liked filming the music video.

Me: Yeah! That was fun. I guess, uh, tell us about it!

Carmilla: Our first video was pretty surreal, but it was easier - we just mimed our instruments and lip synced. Easy enough. But this time there was a plot and we had to act a little. So that was cool. And I got to spend it all with a _pretty_ cute girl.

Me: Really. _< < Note: If you guys can overly literally anything else at this point, that’d be great. I didn’t know my face could get this red.>>_

Carmilla: What?

Me: Stop it.

Carmilla: Stop what?

Me: Stop being... _you_.

Carmilla: Ouch.

Me: No, not _you_ , but just...stop. You’re not allowed to look at me like that.

Carmilla: Like what, sweetheart?

Me: That! Stop that! Stop looking at me like I’m a canape.

_< < Note: Whatever you’re all thinking, stop it. Stop it, S.J.! Stop it, Natalie!! >>_

Me: See, and now we’ve run out of time, Carmilla. ANYWAY, thanks to Tythia Technology, << _Note: RANDOM, right?! ANYWAY, overlay the logo >>_ whose innovative environmental technologies lead them in the world’s best meteorological predictive software.

<< _Cut back to Carmilla and I >>_

Me: Carmilla, I can’t use any of this.

Carmilla: Yes you can, cutie. I’ve seen the comments. People think you’re cute, Laura. I agree. I’m just being the voice of the people. Right, Laura’s followers?

Me: ANYWAY, this has been Laura from The Society with Carmilla, who has been a huge pain in the butt.

Carmilla: _Please_ , you love it, Laura.

Me: CARMILLA. Thanks for joining us and watching! You can find us all on Twitter and Tumblr - as usual, the links are in the description below! Don’t forget to subscribe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Talk to me here.](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com)


	9. Chicago (still)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [platypiandi](http://platypiandi.tumblr.com/) is my beta and she's awesome.  
> 

Laura’s phone ringing woke her up. She groaned, flinching at its noise, and looked at the screen. A picture she had taken of Carmilla - mid-eye roll and partially covering her face with her hands (yet somehow still looking super hot) - popped up on the screen. Carmilla was calling and it was just before 8 am. Why the hell was she up?

“Okay, why are you awake so early?” Laura asked as she picked up, poorly suppressing a yawn, the sleep still in her voice. She sat up and stretched her arms.

“I told you I had the morning off and that I wanted to spend the day with you. The sooner I got up, the sooner our day could start. So open up, I’m about to be outside your door.”

Laura was suddenly wide awake and she couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. Their _date_. 

She practically leapt out of bed and ran to the door. A quick deep breath in and out later, she opened the door and there Carmilla stood. She was as beautiful as always, taking Laura’s breath away. 

“Hi, Carm!” Laura said, brightly. 

“Hey, cutie.” Carmilla was dressed in her standard attire - black, tight pants (it seriously made Laura salivate a little) and a dark top. This time though, Carmilla had a hat on her head and a pair of sunglasses tucked into her top. Laura looked down at what she was wearing - a tanktop and her bunny pajama pants.

“Uh, I should get ready!” Laura said, not before noticing Carmilla’s grin at her outfit. “Make yourself at home.” 

She let Carmilla in and closed the door, then moved to rummage through her luggage, grabbing an appropriate enough outfit (she wouldn’t for the life of her be able to look half as good as Carmilla did, but she could try), then shutting herself in the washroom. 

She brushed her teeth, staring at her reflection. 

_“Okay, Laura. Your date has started. She looks incredible and you literally just woke up and probably reek...Ugh!”_ Laura thought to herself. She finished brushing, then went to wash her face, continuing her inner monologue. _“But! She_ did _say she wanted to spend the day with you. So maybe you’re not a lost cause...”_

She continued to get ready - seriously, getting to a place where she felt hot enough to be seen with Carmilla in 20 minutes was _kind of_ miraculous - and when she finished, she found Carmilla laying in her bed. It made her feel _a little_ weak, seeing her lying in the spot where she slept, flipping through one of Laura’s books.

“ _Girls Like Us_? Good choice, cutie,” Carmilla said, waving the book a little. 

“It’s a great book,” she answered. “Are you a Carole, Carly or Joni girl?”

Carmilla put the book down on the nightstand and looked up, finally _looking_ at Laura. She blew out a whistle. 

“Right now I’m a Laura girl.”

Laura laughed, blushing. “That was a _terrible_ line.”

“No, not a line.” Carmilla got up from the bed to where Laura stood and gently took her hand. Laura felt her heart thundering in her chest as Carmilla reached up, tucking Laura’s hair behind her ears. Her eyes searched Laura’s face. “How do you always look _so_ beautiful, Laura?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she breathed out.

Laura was probably going to faint.

“It’s been over 24 hours since I last kissed you,” Carmilla said, moving closer to her and wrapping her other hand around Laura’s waist, “and I think it’s unacceptable.” 

Laura’s breath hitched.

She was seriously too gay for this.

“You should do something about it then,” Laura replied, surprising herself with how in control she sounded. Carmilla smiled, biting down on her bottom lip before releasing it. Laura _so_ wanted to bite down on that lip.

“Oh, I intend on it.” Carmilla leaned forward. Their lips met, briefly, sweetly, leaving Laura wanting more. “Good morning, Laura.”

“Morning, Carm.”

\---

They held hands as they walked the few blocks to “a place that Mattie told me about, apparently their hipster breakfast is incredible.”

“You can call it brunch, Carmilla.”

Laura repressed the urge to ask about Mattie; even hearing Carmilla casually bring her up rang alarms in her head. She had _so many_ questions about about who Will and Mattie were to her, about Carmilla’s past, about what she knew…but she couldn’t ask.

She’d ruin everything before it’d even started, _again_. Laura did lots of ridiculous things - but didn’t make the same mistake twice. Especially since she knew what she stood to lose if she were to screw up - the feeling of Carmilla’s hand in hers, the way Carmilla would smile at her _that smile_ … She didn’t know what she did to deserve this attention from Carmilla, but she was going to try her best to not screw it up.

Instead, they made small talk on the way there, which didn’t feel forced or awkward. And like a perfect gentlewoman, when they arrived Carmilla opened the door for her. 

When they got to their table, Carmilla finally slipped off her hat and sunglasses. She grimaced and explained, “Will said he noticed paparazzi following us around yesterday, hence the ‘disguise.’ But I figure the hat and sunglasses wouldn’t be needed in here…”

“Ah, ashamed to be seen with me?” Laura joked. 

Carmilla shook her head, emphatically. “Absolutely not. I just don’t want to be bothered, but I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. I mean, I’m just glad you want to be seen with _me_.”

“Of course, Carm,” Laura said, reaching over the table to take her hand. “You’re kind of incredible.”

Carmilla relaxed. “Incredible, huh?”

Soon the food was served. There wasn’t ever a break in conversation. It was easy with Carmilla. She was funny, smart, and sarcastic. She was still kind of a jerk, but it was part of her charm. 

After a short argument over who paid - “I asked _you_ out, cutie,” Carmilla said, winning - they got into an Uber and went to the record store.

\---

They walked through the stacks of record shelves together, hand in hand, commenting on what they were finding, what they wanted. Someone who worked at the record store recognized Carmilla shortly after they entered, so Laura left them to talk.

She went to the Used Pop/Rock section, looking through the A’s, grinning when she found what she was looking for.

Soon she felt a body pressed up against her from behind. 

“See anything you like?” Carmilla asked, wrapping an arm around her and putting her chin on Laura’s shoulder. 

“Well, if I turned around I might,” Laura answered, pressing her lips to Carmilla’s temple, before returning to the stack. She leaned back against Carmilla, feeling Carmilla’s sigh of content and understood it completely.

Laura couldn’t get over how _right_ all of this felt.

“ABBA. Seriously? You’re such a dork; you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Shut up - you _like_ that I’m a dork. And you like ABBA; everyone likes ABBA.” Carmilla’s arms tightened around her.

“ _Well_ , I did enjoy your rendition of Dancing Queen with LaFontaine the other day…”

Someone behind them cleared their throat. 

“Um...are you _Carmilla_?”

Slowly, Carmilla untangled herself from her. They turned and saw a girl - a shy-looking teenaged girl - nervously looking between the two women.

“From Non! Anon, right?” she asked, when neither of them answered.

Carmilla inched away from Laura slightly, before answering, “I am. Hi!”

“Hi! Um, wow,” the girl replied, shaking Carmilla’s hand. “I saw you play _last night!_ This is amazing. You were amazing! Are the others here?”

“Uh, nope. Just me and Laura,” Carmilla answered, nudging Laura lightly. The girl _looked_ at Laura, really _looked_ at her, and Laura saw the exact moment she realized who she was.

“Whoa, you’re Laura from _The Society_ vlogs!”

Laura was surprised to be recognized. She stared at the girl - for way too long to be socially appropriate - probably with a look of shock.

“She is,” Carmilla answered for her, smirking at Laura. She nudged her again, which helped Laura snap out of it in time for her to realize that the girl’s gaze kept darting between the two of them.

“Hey, are you guys here... _together_?” she asked. Carmilla laughed and looked over at Laura. 

“Excuse me?” Laura asked, incredulously. That was absolutely none of her business! And Carmilla was no help; she continued to grin, clearly enjoying how frazzled the question made Laura. 

“That's a personal question, don't you think?” Carmilla asked, politely but with some weight behind it, appeasing Laura. 

“Right! Sorry.” The girl looked effectively chastised. “It’s just that some people think that you two are because you're always around each other, and there are gifs and stuff, but I think that’s totally rude of them to speculate, ‘cause you’re real people and it’s no one’s business and it's kind of creepy. You know what? I’m going to stop. _Sorry._ I’m just such a huge fan, and you’re great, Carmilla, and I love Non! Anon...”

This time Carmilla blushed a little. Despite the girl’s intrusive question, Laura wasn't too upset; she was kind of awkward and rambled...it was all well-meaning.

“What’s your name?” Carmilla asked.

“Beth,” she said.

“Beth, it was really nice to meet you. Me and my _friend_ Laura have to go, but it was great talking to you. Come here,” Carmilla said, before reaching to give the girl a hug.

Laura was sure the girl was going to faint.

“Wait! Can I get a picture with you?”

Carmilla pulled back and nodded. “Of course.”

“Want me to take it?” Laura offered.

“Uh, no...can you be in it too?”

Carmilla laughed and answered for her. “Yeah, she can!”

“Why?!” Laura asked, shocked, being pulled in by Carmilla for a selfie, Beth tucked between the two.

“You’re _Laura_. From _The Society_. Everyone knows you,” Beth answered, simply.

“Okay, on the count of three - one, two, three!” Carmilla said. Laura quickly posed.

“It was nice meeting you, Beth,” Laura said, still bewildered.

“Yeah, Beth. I mean, how lucky are _you_ \- you got to meet _Laura Hollis_ from _The Society_!” Carmilla teased, slinging her arm around Laura’s shoulders. “She’s one of the most famous people I know, actually.”

“Ugh, you’re the _worst_ ,” Laura said, playfully elbowing Carmilla in the ribs. Carmilla laughed, clearly not hurt, and dropped her arm down around her waist. They held eye-contact for a moment. It was embarrassingly easy to get lost in Carmilla’s eyes. 

A voice cleared, reminding them they weren’t alone. 

“Uh,” Beth said, quietly, “Are you _sure_ you’re not together? I won't tell anyone!”

She looked completely giddy at the prospect. Laura supposed it’d be a good idea to maybe cool it with the PDA. She went to pull away, but instead, Carmilla leaned her head against hers, pressing her side against her more. 

_Okay_. Not pulling away. That’s fine, if not a little surprising. But Laura could live with this. 

Carmilla grinned. “It was nice meeting you, Beth,” she said with a wink, as she lead Laura out of the store, arm still tightly around her.

“Not that I’m against being held by you,” Laura asked, as Carmilla pulled out her phone to get an Uber. “But what was that?”

Carmilla shrugged against her. “I know I should’ve asked, but like I said: I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. I’m not going to start making out with you on the street but _this_ is something I’ve wanted to do for a while.” She shifted away a bit. “If that’s okay with you,” she added, shyly.

Laura brought herself closer to Carmilla, leaning up to give her a kiss on the cheek. Hopefully that would convey, that _yes_ , it was more than okay with her. Carmilla’s smile told her it did. 

\---

“This was fun,” Carmilla said, as they reached Laura’s room. 

Ah, the end of the date. The awkward time. Laura grappled with inviting her in, not sure what that would convey. Like, this was standard practice. On the _rare_ occasion a date went well for Laura, she’d usually invite them back to her place - _literally_ just for coffee and continued conversation. (And okay, sometimes _more_.)

But everything seemed like a bigger deal with Carmilla. To echo what the others had said before, time was different on the road. Laura felt like she’d known Carmilla for way longer than the people she’d previously dated. She felt like this wasn’t exactly a first date, but that they’d been dating for a while. It seemed like _forever_ ago that they’d met and that they’d been dancing around this for ages.

Inviting her back to her room was usually nothing, really. Everyone hung out in each other’s rooms all the time. But once they’d be alone, she...well, Laura was 99% sure she wanted to keep things completely innocent. After all, despite her feelings, this _was_ just their first date. 

Carmilla bit her lip and raised an eyebrow, expecting Laura to say something. 

Laura was 90% sure she wanted to keep things innocent - okay more like 75% sure. But she was _definitely_ inviting her in.

“We have about an hour before we have to be downstairs for your gig,” Laura began. 

For conversation. _Just_ conversation.

“We do.” Carmilla nodded again, biting her lip once more and leaning forward.

Okay. 50%. (The number was falling drastically.)

“Wanna...watch a couple episodes of Parks and Rec or anything on Netflix or whatever,” Carmilla’s nose brushed against hers, “and just...hang out?”

Carmilla smirked. “I would love to _Netflix and hang out_ with you.”

Laura somehow managed to push her keycard into the slot and open the door, walking backwards into the room, the collar of Carmilla’s shirt clenched in her fist.

Things didn’t stay innocent for very long.

\---

So, Laura knew one thing for sure: She had yet to experience something that was better than making out with a really hot woman. One hot woman in particular.

Like, there was _literally nothing_ better than making out with Carmilla.

Laura _did_ manage to turn her laptop on and while she was in the middle of connecting to the hotel’s wifi she felt Carmilla’s lips on the side of her neck, effectively sidetracking her from anything not involving Carmilla’s mouth.

But so what? 

Laura couldn’t find it in herself to care when they were able to be _very_ productive in other ways. Ways that included wandering hands, and lips and tongues against jaws and necks. Forever etched in her brain would be the feeling of Carmilla underneath her, clutching at her shirt, and the sound of Carmilla’s whimper when Laura found _that spot_ , just above her collarbone. 

If today was any indication, Laura was probably going to die when they finally did have sex.

Holy crap. Carmilla was going to kill her. 

The thought made Laura grin. She was going to die from great sex.

Or die from anticipation.

_Oh god._

Hours later Laura could still feel Carmilla’s lips against her. Not that she was complaining. Sure, it made doing her job pretty difficult, but not altogether impossible. She was a professional and tonight’s private gig for the band was pretty important. 

This event was to celebrate 30 years of profit at Corvae Corporation, which was about equivalent to 1000 rainforests destroyed by them, but she kept those comments to herself. The crowd was for a bunch of executives and their families, and was, in Will’s words, “A very powerful and important crowd, so don’t fuck it up by being yourselves.” 

They were backstage, with a few minutes until their performance time. As per their routine, Kirsch and Danny were doing their push-ups and LaFontaine and Carmilla were running through scales. The only difference was that Laura was tucked firmly under Carmilla’s arm, being held close by her.

(And if anyone was surprised about the turn in their relationship, no one said anything. It was just accepted - which was nice. And there was only a minimal amount of teasing!)

Will entered the room and cleared his throat, stopping everyone. Laura sat up and moved away from Carmilla. He clearly noted the movement and sneered. 

“Change of plans for tomorrow - we’re leaving for San Francisco tonight. I’ve arranged for you to film some commercials for Lophii and Kobold Mobile. We’ll leave after the show. Without Laura.” 

Laura almost forgot about hearing him and Mattie talk about this.

“What?” Carmilla asked, not hiding her anger.

Will rolled his eyes. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever.”

“But what about our day off?” Danny spoke up. “But my cousin from Memphis was going to meet me in Nashville for the day.”

“Did I give you permission for that?” Will asked, condescendingly. 

“Excuse me?” Danny asked, standing and using her height to intimidate him.

“What the hell, Will,” LaFontaine said. “You book us to go to these events and stuff and you barely give us enough time for ourselves. We were all looking forward to getting to Nashville.”

“Such is life for a successful musician. You’ll be there a day later, so what?”

“That’s bullshit,” Kirsch said. “Dude, you have us scheduled to do ridiculous things, and that’s cool and all, but we literally just filmed a music video commercial for them.”

“Are you listening to yourselves?” Will asked, incredulously. “You’re all so ungrateful; I had to _beg_ Lophii to work with you hacks, I barely convinced them that you deserved to work with _them_. A handful of fans and suddenly you’re too good to work hard?”

Laura scoffed. “It’s not working hard anymore; they barely have time to _eat_ with the schedule you’ve given them.”

“No one asked you.”

“Oh, fuck you, Will,” Carmilla said. 

Danny continued, “We’re not stupid. Why are you booking us to do all these private shows and these random endorsements? And what about the supposed ‘big pay’? When’s that coming?”

Will bristled. “What ever happened to the art of music?”

“There’s no art in doing covers,” LaFontaine argued.

“And who’s fault is that? Who refuses to license your songs?”

They all looked at Carmilla, who stared down Will.

“Don’t start with me.”

Will crossed his arms. “Get over yourselves. If I wasn’t pushing you, you’d be nobodies, in Kirsch’s garage, playing your shitty songs, getting nowhere. You wanted this life so you can’t blame me for not knowing what you were in for. We leave tonight after the show.”

\---

“This is ridiculous,” Carmilla said, holding Laura tightly against her. “I don’t want to go.”

Laura sighed into her arms. It was the end of the day and Laura was going to stay on the bus with Amy and drive to Nashville overnight. The others were heading off to the airport.

“I’ll see you in a day, Carm,” she said, giving her a quick kiss, not wanting to escalate things and leave them both frustrated. “Just text me while you’re gone. I’m going to miss you too, you sap.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, booping Laura’s nose as she pulled away.

“Not a sap. My body’s just gotten used to having you near, is all.”

“Mmhmm.”

“My body’s a big fan of yours,” Carmilla continued, pulling her in, leaning forward to kiss her neck.

“Whoa there, lady killer.” Laura stopped Carmilla, placing her hands on her shoulders. “You have to go. The others are probably waiting for you, and you don't want to have to deal with a grumpy Danny Lawrence on a red-eye.”

“That’s true.” Carmilla sighed. “I really hate that we have to go.”

“I...I don’t understand why you guys are forced to do all these things. It’s not normal.” 

Laura almost wanted to tell Carmilla about Mattie and Will’s conversation that she’d overheard, but she’d gotten in trouble before with her eavesdropping. She knew she eventually would tell her, but she wanted to have more to go on before she told _anyone_ anything that she’d learned. 

“It is, but it isn’t. I was talking to some friends in another band, and yeah, their label doesn’t make them do these things. But fuck, this is the contract we signed. I hate that Will is right. We agreed to this shit.” 

Carmilla looked so tired and so frustrated. Laura needed to get to the bottom of this. Part of her looked forward to having a full 18-hour work day of research, without the distraction of her hot kinda-girlfriend.

“I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“Laura, you being there for me is enough. More than enough.”

A person behind her cleared their throat. 

“Carmilla,” Will said. “We’re leaving. Now.”

He sneered at Laura as Carmilla gave her a quick kiss goodbye.

“See you soon, cupcake.”

“Yes, see you _soon_ , Laura,” Will added.

\---

 _Will Luce_. Laura had almost let her blossoming relationship with Carmilla distract her from the douchecanoe. She huffed, stepping on the bus. After quick hello to Amy (who nodded in acknowledgement, always silent), she pulled out her laptop and quickly emailed J.P., asking him to find out everything he could about Will Luce and Non! Anon’s record deal. 

Then she logged onto Facebook and sent a Friend Request to Lola Perry.

\---

_Friend Request Accepted: Lola Perry_

Message to Lola Perry

Laura: Hi Perry! It’s Laura here - not sure if you remember me, but we met at the Non! Anon party a few weeks ago. And I’m on tour with LaFontaine...lol

Laura: Anyway, I was wondering if you and I could talk at some point. I know LaF says you’ve been really busy with work and studying, but I’d love to have your perspective on Non! Anon’s success for the article. Let me know if you’d be interested!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Tumblr](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com)!


	10. Nashville to Atlanta to Charlotte to Foamhenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to dedicate this chapter to Thisisme_23, who I _think_ has commented on everything I've ever written and while I've never spoken to them ever, I think they're very rad and I'd like to thank them for their support.

To: Laura Hollis  
From: J.P. Armitage  
Subject: Record deal

Hello Laura,

As requested, I was able to obtain a copy of their contract - don’t ask me how, but let’s just say the servers at Glittering Diamond Records could use better encryption. Some of these clauses and terms don’t make sense. It would take a team of lawyers to understand some of this jargon. But from what I can tell, they have very little opportunity to make any money themselves.

Let me know what you think.

-JpA

\---

After one long, lonely bus ride with just her and Amy, Laura spent the day in Nashville, sorting out her feelings for Carmilla and her career ambitions.

She’d never felt like this for anyone before. It was overwhelming. She’d always pushed relationships down her priority list - but now realizing how incredible it felt, she scoffed at her past self. For the first time ever, really, she could see a future with someone. And it was totally obtainable.

She’d texted Carmilla throughout the day, and while it seemed like Carmilla and the others were non-stop busy, they managed to trade a few selfies and flirtatious words. It was a cheap substitution, but it helped ease the separation.

And it looked as though Beth had posted about meeting Carmilla and Laura on Tumblr, as evidenced by the number of Asks and Tweets she’d received (and ignored). She read Beth’s post - who insinuated a lot but ultimately didn’t say anything about their relationship - but Non! Anon’s fans speculated anyway.

It was surreal and intrusive - she and Carmilla hadn’t even defined their relationship yet.

Looking at the number of emails in her inbox from her coworkers pulled Laura back to the reality of the situation. Cochrane emailed a few times, first asking about how things were, the next few about Carmilla, and the most recent asking about the nature of her relationship with her. Natalie sent her paparazzi photos that were taken of the two - nothing incriminating, but still, completely disconcerting. J.P. emailed, letting her know that he took some initiative and called the shelter again in Mississauga, to see if he could talk to anyone who knew Carmilla, but they assumed he was a fan or a stalker and they refused to comment.

On top of that, Perry had messaged Laura back, definitely wanting to participate, but was, “not sure when I would have the time!” They swapped emails and phone numbers anyway.

Somehow, in spite of her head being in the clouds over her relationship with Carmilla, she _had_ to find it in her to focus on her job. So with a great deal of reluctance, she went back to work.

She’d been monitoring public perception of some of the groups Non! Anon had played for - monitoring any media they’d been getting, looking at related tweets, checking stock markets. By and large, all of them had gained a spike in public support and sometimes made huge announcements of partnerships and success after Non! Anon had played for them. Some of the politicians they had played for were able to make deals and push through laws that (directly and indirectly) allowed Silas Industries to gain an advantage, one way or another. 

So Non! Anon were being used as pawns; her best guess was that their gigs were being used as fronts for shady business dealings. _Why_ , she had no idea...

So, for the time being she moved on.

J.P. filled her Dropbox with every bit of information he could find about “Will Luce” and “William Luce” but there wasn’t anything beyond Non! Anon-related articles. And he was pretty elusive himself. He always carried around a bag that had a logo on it - some school in Europe, Lustig University - so she checked out its website. It was in French, but fortunately, she had Google Translate on her side and six years of mandatory French in school. She sifted through the pages, and in between texts to her dad and Carmilla, and being distracted by the episodes of _Scandal_ she had playing in the background, she found something.

A hall in one of the buildings was named Luce-Morgan Hall. The building in question? It housed the Silas Industries School of Business. _Silas._

She dug a little deeper in the Google rabbit hole, and eventually found something else, an old article, this time in German (thank goodness - her German was _much_ better than her French). The article was over thirty years old and was about Silas Industries School of Business being established at the university. It included a super grainy photograph of a surly looking man, Frederick Luce, the president of the school (who had the same sneer that she’d recognize in Will), shaking hands with a very striking woman, identified as Lilita Morgan, of Silas Industries.

CEO of Silas Industries.

Laura gasped. This man, clearly related to Will, was connected to Lilita Morgan.

A quick search confirmed it - Lilita Morgan married Frederick Luce shortly thereafter, but he died in a tragic car accident a few years later, a few days after the birth of their one son, Wilhelm.

 _Will._ Will was the connection between Silas Industries and Glittering Diamond Records. Lilita Morgan was his mother - his _maman._

And were Mattie and Carmilla related to them? Granted - lots of people had maman’s _._ This could’ve been a huge stretch, even for Laura. Plus, they weren’t mentioned in any articles Laura could find, and Mattie’s last name was Belmonde, and Carmilla’s...

Holy Hufflepuff, it’d been _weeks_ and Laura’d completely forgotten to find out Carmilla’s freaking last name. How ridiculous - she was dating someone she didn’t even know the last name of. Who did that? Laura Hollis did, apparently...

She wrote down all that she found out in a new document but kept it off the Dropbox. She didn’t want anyone getting a hold of this information before she knew everything for sure. The big question she needed to solve was: _Why Non! Anon?_

\--- 

The next day she stopped herself from working on what Laura had unofficially dubbed, “The Silas Conspiracy of Bullshit.” 

She needed a break, but clearly she was a workaholic, as Laura’s form of a “break” was to edit the next vlog she was going to post (which featured the super nice lighting crew). She had a million things on her mind about Will and Silas, but she was _exhausted_. She had way too many theories, from Non! Anon being secretly involved with the mob to the supernatural, anything seemed possible at this point. 

And really, she didn’t have _anything_ that linked Non! Anon to Silas other than Will. That could very well be where the story ended.

But something told Laura that wasn’t true.

Still, she stopped. She spent the day at the venue - interviewing the crew before the band arrived, filming the stage set-up, and interviewing fans who were already lined up, hours before the show. When she was finished, she went back to the tour bus (which was parked at the venue) to hang out and wait for the band to arrive. Halfway through rewatching _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_ , she got the text from Carmilla - they’d just checked into the hotel in Nashville and were on their way to the venue.

And then the butterflies began.

Laura even judged herself, as the anticipation of seeing Carmilla _kind of_ took over. In the twenty minutes that it took for the band to show up, she must’ve paced around the bus a thousand times, tidying up (and re-hiding her secret cookie stash). 

When the door swung open, her first thought was that she was _really_ glad she hadn’t found anything that concretely linked Silas to Carmilla or the others. She would’ve had a really hard time being with someone who was part an awful, soul-sucking, power-hungry conglomerate. A conglomerate that, as evidenced by how dejectedly LaFontaine, Danny, and Kirsch entered the bus, was exhausting her friends.

“Did you guys get any sleep?” she asked, worriedly.

“A little on the plane,” Kirsch said with a yawn. The three of them made their way to the bunk room, LaFontaine mumbling something about an hour-long break until they had to get ready for their show, but “at least we’ve been promised a meal this time…”

Carmilla slowly made her way onto the bus. 

“Hey,” she said, sleepily. “The others beat me here?”

Laura stood and took her hand, Carmilla immediately sinking into her, throwing her arms around her. 

“Is it possible to fall asleep standing?”

“Oh my god, Carmilla, I know you texted that you were all tired, but when was the last time any of you slept?”

She mumbled, “yesterday,” into her shoulder. Carmilla quirked her head up to look at her, her expression _so_ exhausted, Laura was concerned. “Well, my, my, pretty lady, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

“You need sleep, Carm. You’re talking like you’re a hundred years old.”

“Is that any way to greet your girlfriend?” Carmilla burrowed her head in Laura’s shoulder. 

_Girlfriend._ Laura unintentionally stiffened at the label, which Carmilla seemed to notice. She immediately regretted it and pulled Carmilla down to sit next to her on the couch. 

“I mean, I’m exhausted,” Carmilla said, suddenly more awake than she was before, “so I might regret this but...are you my girlfriend?” Her voice was quiet and shy, and Laura was overwhelmed by the need to make her happy for as long as she’d let her.

Laura nodded. “I’d like that...if you would.”

“I would,” she whispered.

“Then I am,” Laura answered. She cupped Carmilla’s cheek and gave her a soft kiss. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

Carmilla let out a satisfied, “mmm”, before resting her head against Laura’s shoulder again, her eyes closed.

“In the spirit of being your girlfriend - what's your last name?”

Carmilla groaned, burrowing her head into Laura’s shoulder more. She kept her eyes closed, before sleepily answering, “I have to keep some of my secrets, sweetheart. Otherwise I’ll lose my air of mystery, won’t I?”

\--- 

Laura just finished interviewing one of the guitar techs and went back to the dressing room. If her timing was right, the band would’ve just finished their meet and greet and would’ve now been in their dressing room, hopefully relaxing with some down time.

She was really excited to see her - oh god, she couldn’t even hold back her smile as she thought it - _girlfriend_.

She passed Will - who was on the phone, talking animatedly in his usual smarmy voice - and made her way down the hall to the room. And just as she expected, she heard Kirsch’s booming voice as she approached. She knew she shouldn’t continue this bad habit of lingering at doorways to eavesdrop, but she did it anyway. 

“So what’s going on with you and little nerd hottie?” he asked.

“You’re not _that_ slow, are you, Kirsch?” Carmilla’s voice answered, playfully. Laura felt her cheeks warm up.

“Wait, so you’re official?” LaFontaine asked. “You’re not just being flirty and gross, but you’re _officially_ flirty and gross?”

“I guess that’s how one could describe it. Or you could be normal and call her my girlfriend.” Laura could hear Carmilla’s smile, poorly restrained, and it made her grin. She walked forward, to enter the room and caught sight of Danny handing LaFontaine a twenty dollar bill.

“Damn it,” Danny groaned.

“You seriously placed bets on this?” Everyone looked up at Laura, who huffed and stood next to Carmilla, wrapping her arm around her waist.

“Of course we did,” Danny grumbled. “You two were oblivious and infuriating; monetizing your happiness was the only way we could deal with your grossness.”

While Laura scoffed, Carmilla shrugged. “That’s fair.”

“‘Monetizing your happiness.’ You sound a lot like Will and your record deal,” Laura joked.

Then silence. Kirsch cleared his throat, and awkward murmurs of acknowledgment from the other members. Even Carmilla shrunk away, putting distance between the two. She mumbled about going to the washroom and then left.

“ _Anyway,_ ” Laura deflected, realizing that she struck a nerve. “Nashville. It’s pretty cool here, right?”

\---

The Nashville music scene was surprisingly accepting. Their concert went off without a hitch. The more shows they played, the louder the audience was and the bigger the crowd. As exhausted as the others were, the band still gave their all, which Laura admired. Sure, they sometimes lacked the same spark they had in their first few shows, but they seemed to re-energize as soon as they stepped on stage.

Their private gig the next day was for a Republican lobby group. And it went pretty well. LaFontaine won them over with a solo cover of _Jolene_. From there, they were in the crowd’s good graces. 

Despite Carmilla’s exhaustion, later that night Laura found her awake in the main area of the bus. They were heading to Atlanta and everyone else was asleep. The lights were off, except for a lamp above where Carmilla was sitting.

“Hey,” Laura said. 

“Hey,” Carmilla answered. She was lounging on the couch, a notebook propped open on her legs. She closed it, which Laura found strange. Carmilla had never been self-conscious about what she’d been writing but this time it looked like whatever she’d been working on, she didn’t want Laura to look at. She brushed it aside and let herself be pulled onto Carmilla’s lap.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked, pressing her lips to Laura’s shoulder.

“Can I ever?” 

Carmilla leaned back and Laura rested against her, settling between her legs. There was something so natural about this. She closed her eyes, as her breathing went in sync with Carmilla’s. 

“Tell me about yourself, cupcake,” Carmilla asked. “I mean, I know _you_ , but tell me about your life back home.”

“What do you want to know? I’m an open book.”

Carmilla asked her about her life in Toronto; where she lived, about her roommate (“Right now I live in Parkdale with my old college roommate, Betty.”). She asked about her past relationships (“I don’t know if ‘pathetic’ really captures it, Carmilla. Not all of us are rock gods.” “But not all of us are gorgeous like _you_ , cupcake.”). She asked about her hobbies, her hopes, her dreams.

“So what about your family? You’ve mentioned your dad…”

“Yeah.” Laura cleared her throat, ready to be met with sympathy. The sad head tilt, the pity that she always got when she told someone about her mother. “It’s just my dad and I; my mom died when I was nine. Cancer. It’s just been me and my dad ever since.”

She braced herself, but instead was met with understanding.

“My dad died when I was a kid too,” Carmilla said, trailing her fingers up and down Laura’s arm. “I was five. It really sucked growing up without him.”

“Yeah. I...I understand.” Carmilla’s arms tightened around her waist. 

Laura turned back in her arms and placed a kiss on Carmilla’s jaw. “Tell me about you. Where are you from? Where do you live?”

“Well, I was crashing on LaFontaine and Perry’s couch when we were signed, so I guess I live there. Haven’t really been back since then.”

“Where were you before that? Where do you call home?”

Carmilla sat up, shifting Laura off her a little. She leaned on the side of the seat, so she could face Laura. “I was born in Austria but I grew up in Toronto. My family and I lived in Forest Hill.”

“Wait, what?!” Laura exclaimed. 

“Yeah...I mean, I don’t go around telling people about it,” Carmilla said, looking uncomfortable. Laura felt bad, but seriously - Forest Hill was one of the wealthiest neighbourhoods in Canada, much less Toronto. Carmilla must’ve grown up _loaded_. “Like I said, I was kicked out I was sixteen. I didn’t really have the awareness of the affluence of the neighbourhood and my old life until I was poor...” 

Laura took her hand, encouraging her to continue. 

“It wasn’t _my_ life; it was hard being myself. Boarding schools, debutants, etiquette classes, piano lessons, waltzing, fencing... It was my mother’s life. What she wanted for us, not what I wanted…”

“I can’t imagine you doing _any_ of that,” Laura admitted. “Where did you go when you left?”

“I didn’t make it far - I ended up in Mississauga. I was staying at a youth shelter there and that’s where I met LaF. They volunteered with the LGBTQ group and...yeah. We’ve been friends ever since. So I guess Mississauga is home.” 

She stared at her for moment, before continuing, “Or, home is where people I care about are.” Carmilla cupped Laura’s cheek, bringing their lips together.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” Laura offered, as they separated. It was nothing, could be seen as platitudes, really, but it was all she could offer. And she meant it.

“That’s the thing, cupcake. I’m not,” Carmilla said, pressing her forehead to hers. “LaF and the others are the best people I know and I’ve learned that it’s important to keep good people in your life when you can. I found my family. And I found you.”

Laura closed their distance, bringing their lips together, slowly, trying to echo what Carmilla said in her actions. She didn’t have the words the same way that Carmilla had them - Carmilla was a songwriter, a poet. Whatever she could think of saying would pale in comparison. So she chose to show her, by cupping Carmilla’s cheek, gently tracing her fingers from her face to the back of her head, bringing her in closer. Carmilla hummed into her mouth, responding by deepening the kiss, clutching Laura’s shoulders.

Then something snapped in Laura. She was overwhelmed with an urgency she didn’t know she had in her. She pushed Carmilla down so she could lie on top of her and she couldn’t get over how perfect their bodies felt together. This visceral reaction to being with her - whether they were in conversation, sitting in silence, or exploring new ways to be with each other - was something that she didn’t know she could have. 

She didn’t know she could ever _want_ someone this much. 

Carmilla pulled Laura roughly against her as Laura took the lead, setting the pace with her mouth, her lips, teeth and tongue against Carmilla’s neck. 

Carmilla felt so hot, so strong, and Laura wanted to drown in her. 

She felt Carmilla’s hand slip under her tanktop, her fingers pressing up and down Laura’s back, caressing her and bringing their bodies even closer together. Carmilla’s other hand weaved into Laura’s hair, pulling her lips away from her, so the Carmilla could could gain access to her neck. Laura gasped and she tried to bite back her moan as she felt Carmilla nip and lick the length of her neck to her collarbone. The sound that escaped only seemed to goad Carmilla on; she rolled her hips up against Laura’s thigh, which found it’s way between Carmilla’s legs. 

She felt Carmilla’s hand slowly slide towards her front. Never in her life had Laura ever been this turned on, and she moaned, loudly, as Carmilla cupped her breast under her tank top. 

Then the horn of the bus jolted them apart. 

They both sat up quickly, Carmilla pulling her hand away.

They suddenly became aware of their surroundings. They were on the bus, the other members of the band in the other room, closed off by only a thin sliding door, and Amy driving at the front, with a curtain separating her from them.

Now was _not_ the time to do...what they were going to do.

They stared at each other, for a beat. Laura felt like a livewire, her blood pumping fast through her body. Carmilla’s hair was tousled from Laura’s grasp and her lips looked swollen. She was breathing heavily, almost panting. She looked _so_ sexy. 

Her eyes kept darting up and down, from her eyes down past her chest. Laura followed her gaze and saw her shirt was up - more than she realized - exposing her stomach. She pulled her shirt down and ran her fingers through her hair.

“As much as I’d love to continue this,” Carmilla whispered, “and I _really_ would, I don’t want... _this_ to happen with us on a bus with other people less than six feet away.”

Laura nodded, not trusting her voice. She slid away, putting a bit more distance away from Carmilla for good measure, but still reached to hold her hand. They sat in silence for a moment, their fingers intertwined, both trying to calm their bodies.

“We should try to sleep, shouldn’t we?” Laura asked, after she knew she could speak. 

“Sure.” Carmilla’s voice still shook a little, which made Laura feel better about the restlessness that settled within her.

They got up and opened the door to the bunk room. As Carmilla went to climb into her bunk, Laura stopped her. She tilted her head towards her own, and slipped in, bringing Carmilla with her. They squeezed together, Laura pressing her front against Carmilla’s back.

She nearly drifted off when she heard Carmilla whisper.

_“Karnstein.”_

“What?”

“You asked what my last name was and that’s my last name. Karnstein,” Carmilla said.

“Mmm. _Carmilla Karnstein._ I like you a lot, Carmilla Karnstein,” Laura mumbled sleepily into Carmilla’s neck.

“I like you a lot too, Laura Hollis.”

\--

And again, the days blurred. 

One quick stop in Atlanta, then another stop in Charlotte. These two days were even more hectic, with a performance each morning for a benefactor and a concert each night. With no time to stop at a hotel, even Will was showing signs of cabin fever. Being trapped on a bus for hours on end was not doing good things for everyone’s morale.

Laura wasn’t really able to spend any meaningful time with Carmilla - and if she was being honest with herself, this was intentional. After their night on the bus - which Laura had a hard time _not_ thinking about - she wanted nothing more than to move forward with Carmilla. But every time she’d check her email, there’d be a new message with J.P., with another horrible update. Whenever she’d do any research, she’d find a new terrible story about Silas Industries, a new awful story about who the band was playing for, new shady deals that would’ve emerged in the days after they’d perform their private gigs for them.

Even knowing Carmilla’s last name, she couldn’t bring herself to look into her past. She found herself typing “Karnstein” into Google a few times before closing the window even shutting down her laptop. She wanted to learn more about Carmilla because _she_ wanted to tell her these things, not because she dug or pried. 

This really conflicted the journalist in her. 

All of this weighed on her, and while she didn’t want Carmilla to notice the distance, she knew that Carmilla did and was just respectfully keeping quiet about it.

Leaving Charlotte, Will scheduled the band to do a few last-minute satellite phone interviews with some radio stations around the U.S. - probably to break up the monotony - so Laura had free reign of the front of the bus, once again. She felt bad; the bus time was usually their downtime, and Will had taken it away from them. 

On her way to grab her laptop from her bunk, she overheard Danny yawn and mumble through an answer (“Yeaaaah, we’re actually Canadian, but uh, America’s been cool so far. We haven’t been able to see much beyond venues and stuff,” she stifled a yawn, “...but the fans have been cool.”). 

Comfortably sprawled out on the couch in the front, she checked her email. Thirty new messages in her inbox. Well. That was more than usual. She scrolled to the bottom to work her way up to the most recent, not reading the subject lines of any of them.

The first few were from S.J. and Natalie - opening them one by one, they were all various paparazzi and fan photos of Laura with the band, some from celebrity photo agencies and some from Tumblr and Twitter. A few of them were of her and Carmilla filming the music video, some of them on their date. It was surreal. When Carmilla mentioned paparazzi, Laura didn’t really consider it a real concern - but there they were, holding hands and looking _adorable_ , actually. 

It kind of made Laura’s skin crawl, that people were watching her like that.

After those emails was one from Cochrane. 

To: Laura Hollis  
From: Jane Cochrane  
Subject: Carmilla

You never answered my email from before but I’ve seen the pictures. I trust you won’t let this get in the way of your job, Laura.

-JC

PS: When I told you to get to know Carmilla, this is not what I had in mind.

Laura threw her head back, it ‘thudding’ ungracefully on the back of the seat. 

_Ugh_. How embarrassing. 

I mean, they weren’t exactly hiding anything - and maybe they should’ve, based on the number of aggressive Asks and Tweets she’d received. But those didn’t really bother Laura - what bothered her was her boss thinking less of her or questioning if she could do her job. She groaned and sent a quick response to her boss:

To: Jane Cochrane  
From: Laura Hollis  
Subject: RE: Carmilla

Hello Jane,

You have nothing to worry about. As always, I am fully committed to The Society and journalistic integrity.

-Laura Hollis

The next email was even more awkward - a short message from her dad, with far too many question marks and exclamation points. 

“Oh, _crap_ ,” she said out loud. Her _dad_. She hadn’t even told him about the music video yet. Laura was the Queen of Avoiding Awkward Conversations, _clearly_. She ignored it, for now, not wanting to stress herself out even further.

The rest of the emails were related to website and video analytics - at first glance, revenue was going up - and again, more messages from J.P., updating her on more Silas Industries growth and their correlation to the band’s performances. Then she reached the most recent message, from Lola Perry. The subject read: “A concern.” She double-clicked it.

To: Laura Hollis  
From: Lola Perry  
Subject: A concern.

Hello Laura,

I have...a concern. And I think you’re the only person I can talk to about this.

The other day at work, I was sorting through some of the senior partner’s files. They asked me to photocopy and alphabetize their 2012 records (I honestly feel as though they have no idea what to do with me here, but I digress). Through the file work, I discovered something... _interesting_.

The law firm I’m interning at - McNair & Carrow - has been affiliated with every person, corporation and business that LaFontaine and the others have had events with this tour. And they’re all _awful_ , Laura. Lawsuits against them for everything from corruption to environmental crimes to the complete disregard for human rights. It’s...it’s not something that LaFontaine and the others would stand for if they knew what was happening. I’m sure of it.

I got in touch with Matska Belmonde, who is also a client here. She and I went for coffee, and while she was wildly inappropriate towards me, she was pretty adamant that I get in touch with you and tell you what I discovered. She said you were close. Close to what, she didn’t say - again, she made too many forward advances to me, I had to leave without finding out everything. I don’t know what this means, but something’s up.

Whatever you know or whatever you’re working on, let me help you. 

I haven’t told LaFontaine or anyone else; just you and Mattie. I don’t want to upset them. You and I both know they’re tired and overworked. I just need to know what’s going on.

Talk to you soon, I hope.

-Lola Perry

\---

That email weighed on Laura’s mind for the rest of the day. She read it a few times in a row, each time growing more frustrated and confused. What in the frilly hell was going on? She didn’t even get a chance to respond - the band burst through the room, making Laura jump and shut her laptop quickly. 

The rest of the day was spent with the others, which forced her to stop working. She’d deal with it later, when she could wrap her head around it. 

For now she focused on being in the moment, as she trekked past a gate and up the hill.

“It’s up ahead guys!” Kirsch yelled excitedly, the others following behind. Kirsch had convinced Amy to let them have a pit stop - he’d had a list of odd things to see around the country, but Will’s schedule kept them from seeing any of them. Somehow he convinced them both to let him have this.

For some reason though, they both elected to not join the band and Laura to the attraction. As they approached, Laura could understand why.

“It’s literally a pile of garbage, Kirsch,” Carmilla said, her hand in Laura’s. She gave it a squeeze.

“Leave him alone,” Laura said. “He’s just being his usual excited puppy self.”

“Whoaaaaaa,” Kirsch said, drawing out the word, as they reached it.

_Foamhenge._

They all stared at it for a moment. 

“It’s...foamy,” LaFontaine confirmed.

Danny nodded. “And henge-y.”

They were both right. 

“Could use a paint job,” LaFontaine said.

“Hmm. I thought it’d be less...whatever this is,” Danny said, pulling out her phone and taking a picture. “Still kinda cool though.”

“Yeah, still kinda impressive,” they agreed. 

Laura looked over at Carmilla, whose eyebrows were raised. She was clearly unimpressed, and Laura nudged her. As soon as she looked at her, she had to stifle her laugh.

It was Foamhenge. Foamy and henge-y, kind of cool and kind of impressive, as the others had described. Laura pulled out her phone and took a couple photos, texting them to her dad. 

“So Kirsch, how do you feel?” she asked. 

All eyes went from the structure to Kirsch, who looked deep in thought. A slow smile came upon his face. 

“It’s _beautiful_ ,” Kirsch breathed out, awestruck.

The others laughed. Danny and LaFontaine walked forward, to get a closer look.

“Yeah, you’re not allowed to make decisions ever again, Kirsch,” Carmilla said, as Kirsch walked to join them. 

“That’s fair!” he yelled back, practically skipping over to Danny and LaFontaine.

“Wanna take a corny touristy selfie with me, sweetheart?” Carmilla asked, pulling out her phone.

“I’d love to.”

\---

@KirschNonAnon: FOAMHENGE! #NonAnonOnTour << Attached photo: Selfie of Non! Anon with Laura at Foamhenge. >>

@NonLaFonNon: @KirschNonAnon Foamy. 

@DannyLawrence: @NonLaFonNon @KirschNonAnon And Henge-y.

@CarmillaAnon: .@KirschNonAnon was very excited. << Attached photo: Selfie of her and Laura at Foamhenge with Kirsch photobombing in the background. >>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I track the [BLAH tag](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla-blah-au) and I have this [blog](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com) and I very much appreciate all the comments, kudos, reblogs and likes. <3


	11. Washington D.C. to New York City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a million to platypiandi and my wife for beta-ing. Full disclosure - not sure when the next chapter will be posted. Taking a break from fandom for a bit. But I hope you all enjoy this one. <3
> 
> You might recognize that some props are due to the canon [Voice of Silas](http://voiceofsilas.tumblr.com/). And [Stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAyIRMzhWX0).

Laura felt a _little_ out of place.

It was a few hours after leaving Foamhenge. After a quick stop to check into their hotel and change, she and the others found themselves in a swanky convention center in Washington D.C.. She was given a dress - on loan, Will said as he basically tossed the garment bag at her. It was beautiful and formal and perfectly her size (which confused her) but definitely not her taste. The other members also had outfits thrown at them, which they all wore. Danny and Carmilla looked uncomfortable in their gowns. Kirsch and LaFontaine looked less uncomfortable in their suits.

Today they were attending a celebratory banquet for - you guessed it - Silas Industries.

When Will told everyone the details for the event when they got back on the bus after Foamhenge, Laura barely stopped herself from gasping. He explained that the CEO of Silas Industries was a big fan of the band - again, Laura had to stop herself, this time from scoffing - and that she wanted to meet everyone. Representatives from _The Society_ included, Will said, regretfully.

Holy _crap_ , Laura was going to meet Lilita Morgan.

The others seemed relatively unfazed - Laura watched Carmilla’s face, which maintained its general look of apathy.

And now, as she held Carmilla’s hand (who, despite her discomfort, looked _stunning)_ they entered the banquet hall. Laura’s two sides were competing. One side of her was trying to stop herself from reaching for a notepad or a tape recorder. The journalist in her was _so_ excited. She was so close to getting answers and meeting the woman was the closest she’d gotten.

The other side was terrified. From what she was able to glance of the guest list, it was key leaders at some of the business and corporations they had played gigs for on the tour. There were the same politicians they’d met previously and new ones, ones that Laura recognized as...not so good people. Just like the people on Perry’s client list and the people J.P. had warned her about. Corruption. Environmental crimes. The complete disregard for human rights.

As both sides of her internally argued, Will led them to the queue, a receiving line.

“Okay, idiots - don’t screw this up,” he said, bringing everyone in. “You’re about to meet a _very_ important person. Your careers depend on this meeting going well, so don’t fuck up.”

“Who is this person, again?” LaFontaine asked, fidgeting with their tie. Will slapped their hand away, then readjusted their tie for them.

“Lilita Morgan, the CEO of Silas Industries. Pay attention, LaFontaine.”

Will reached Lilita first. Laura was impressed - if there was any indication that they knew each other, they didn’t let on. He introduced LaFontaine; the room was loud, and Lilita leaned in closely - Laura couldn’t hear their conversation. Same with Danny and then Kirsch. Carmilla walked forward next - and she was visibly uncomfortable. She nodded, stiffly, her jaw clenched, and didn’t say anything.  

She didn’t have time to dwell on it though, because the band was ushered away, leaving Laura with Lilita. They shook hands, Lilita’s grip firm.

“So you’re the _blogger_ from that magazine. Will told me all about you.”

If Laura thought Mattie was intimidating, then clearly she didn’t understand what that word meant. In comparison, Mattie was a teddy bear. The woman was tall - taller than Danny - and with as close as they were standing, Laura had to strain her neck to keep eye contact. Laura felt herself begin to wither then stopped herself.

_No._

She had to hold her own. She stood taller and squared her shoulders.

“I’m sure he did,” Laura began. “It must be nice to have such a close relationship with your _son_.”

It didn’t seem to bother her. “Oh, you figured that out, did you? Good for you. So how have you found the tour?”

Laura gulped. She definitely expected more of a reaction. “It’s been interesting.”

“I’m sure.” Lilita sized her up. “Do not get too attached, Miss Hollis.”

“Excuse me?”

“Some advice, that I’m certain your inquisitive little mind will ignore: Do not get too attached to that _poor excuse_ for a musical band. Stop digging your nose in things that do not pertain to you.”

Laura was quite taken aback and did her best to hide the slight falter in her voice. ”I don’t know what Will may have said to you but--”

“Miss Hollis - do not question me. It was Matska’s idea to have your mediocre publication be involved. You would be wise to tread _very_ carefully as to not to ruin the once in a lifetime career opportunity you have currently presented before you. Now, if you do not mind, I would appreciate the chance to be able to speak to my other, more _significant_ , guests. You are excused.”

Lilita turned to the next person, as though Laura didn’t exist any more.

Laura was stunned. She tried to find the band -  and she saw them with Will, speaking to a group of people who Laura recognized from the Corvae Corporation.

She went to the bar, because after that conversation, she needed a damn drink. She ordered a vodka cranberry, threw it back, then ordered another. Quietly, a guy came up next to her, looked over at what she was drinking and ordered the same. Laura was ready to stop him from hitting on her, until she watched his eyes check out the hunky male bartender.

Ah, good.

She gave him a look of acknowledgement, then asked. “Fancy party, hey?”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course it is. It’s _Lilita Morgan’s_ ,” he said, affecting an ‘upper class’ accent when he spoke her name. “Keep them coming, handsome.” He motioned towards his cup to the bartender, who poured him and Laura more drinks.

“Thank god for an open bar, right?” Laura joked. “So what brings you here?”

He brought his drink to his lips. “I work for Silas Industries. I’m a Lilita Morgan’s assistant's assistant’s assistant, basically.” He looked over at her, a little bleary eyed.

She’d gotten used to flashes of recognition from Non! Anon fans in the last few weeks, so she was surprised when there was none.

This could work for her.

“I work for…” Laura looked around and spotted the band speaking to Senator Hackman. “...Senator Hackman.”

“Ew,” he said. “No offense.”

It was a fair response. “None taken.”

“So are you forced to be here too?”

“Yeah.”

“Same. We’ve been prepping for this ass kissing event for _months_. Also, can someone explain to me why that hipster trash band is here? Although wait, is the drummer into guys? ‘Cause I could be into that.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Damn.”

They spoke for a few minutes - Laura let him lead the conversation wherever he wanted. She wanted him comfortable before she went in for the kill. She kept an eye out on the band, who had been whisked away again, to speak to another group of suits.

“What’s it like working for Lilita Morgan?” she asked, after his ninth passive-aggressive dig at the woman.

He looked around, to make sure no one was listening - and no one was - then grimaced. With another big gulp of his drink, he answered, “I don’t think she likes anyone but she likes power. She’ll do anything for it. Don’t tell anyone, but I once helped her assistant’s assistant work out a secret deal for some shady company to set fire to some competitor’s property. Destroyed it entirely. That’s the kind of woman she is.”

Laura wanted so badly to be recording him. She felt a little twinge of guilt - she was clearly taking advantage of his drunken state - but she was finding out things that could help her article - things that could _make_ her as a journalist.

“She’s homophobic - she once offered to cure me, as a ‘joke’ of course, but that woman doesn’t joke,” he continued. “It’s confusing because she’s become _obsessed_ with that shitty gay band and I don't even know why.”

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Laura turned around, quickly, almost losing her balance. The shots had gotten to her as well.

“Mattie,” Laura said, to the woman behind them.

“It’s so good to see you, Laura. Who is this?” she asked, looking unimpressed by the drunk man next to her.

“I don’t actually know his name,” she said, as he continued to mutter to himself.

“May I speak with you?”

Laura followed Mattie to an empty service hallway.

“Laura,” Mattie began, with less poise than usual. Her voice was soft but firm.  “You need to be more careful. You’re lucky no one overheard your little conversation; he spoke out of turn too freely in that room, around those people. Those are _not_ good people.”

Laura was taken aback. “And _you_ are?”

“I don’t claim to be. But they do.”

Laura crossed her arms. “What’s going on, Mattie? Why am I here? Why are _they_ here? How do you know Carmilla?”

To her surprise, Mattie grinned. “You’re _so close_. Carmilla...has done a lot for her friends and they have no idea. Someone needs to stand up for her. God knows I’ve tried. Have you spoken to Lola Perry?”

“Yes; but why is that your business?”

“Did you tell her everything?”

“ _No_.”

“Do it.”

\---

Shortly after her conversation with Mattie, Will found her and sent her home. They didn’t need her there anymore, he said with a gleeful sneer, so he sent her off in a cab back to the hotel.

The first thing she did when she got back was send Perry the band’s contract. Laura herself had tried to make sense of it, but had a hard time. Like J.P. said before, it’d probably take a team of lawyers to make sense of it; Laura figured having one Lola Perry, an almost-lawyer, would be good enough.

Next, she sent J.P. an email, asking him to find out everything he could about Lilita Morgan.

Then, after changing and removing her make up, Laura went straight to Carmilla’s room, which was next to hers. She went there for a few reasons - first, it was a comfort to be around Carmilla’s things when she was so frazzled. Second, she needed to speak to her.

She couldn’t keep all this from her anymore, she couldn’t _not_ tell her. What if Carmilla had no idea what was going on? What if Mattie was right, what if Carmilla needed her help?

She had to talk to her.

A couple episodes of _Scandal_ later, she heard someone push the keycard into the lock. Laura turned off the TV and stood up.

Carmilla entered the room, looking shocked to see Laura there. She quickly smirked, though - much to Laura’s annoyance, Carmilla was totally misreading the situation.

“You took off your dress. I was kind of hoping that’d be my job tonight,” Carmilla said, walking over and pulling Laura in for a kiss.

Laura let herself get lost for a moment, revelling in Carmilla’s lips, before pulling away.

 _No_. Laura couldn’t let herself get distracted.

“No, Carm,” Laura said, gently placing her hands on Carmilla’s shoulders, keeping her at a distance. “We need to talk.”

Carmilla furrowed her eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

Laura shook her head. “Oh god, no Carmilla, not _that_ kind of talk,” Carmilla immediately relaxed, “We need to talk about tonight and Silas Industries and Mattie and-”

Laura watched Carmilla’s face go from confused, to surprised, to steely in a split second. Carmilla sat down on her bed.

“Okay…”

“I think...I think Non! Anon are part of something weird and you guys have no idea. I think Will is part of it. I think Mattie’s trying to get you out of it, but she’s using _me_ to get you out of it, and I don’t understand why.”

If Carmilla was feeling _anything_ about this, she wasn’t giving it away. Her expression was still cold, almost apathetic, as Laura carried on.

“I think that’s why she brought me on board. I think...I think she wants _The Society_ or someone to find out. But I don’t know what I’m here to discover, Carm. I think the band is being taken advantage of - I got a copy of your contract, and it doesn’t look good.” Laura stopped herself from mentioning Perry, knowing that she wouldn’t want Carmilla to know about her involvement, in case she’d tell LaFontaine.

Carmilla stiffened, clearly uncomfortable, then went to her luggage, pulling out clothes. “I have to get ready for bed.”

Laura got a horrible feeling, a sense of deja vu, like when they had their argument in Banff. She went to Carmilla immediately and stopped her, turning Carmilla to her and wrapping her arms around her. Carmilla slowly returned her embrace.

“I’m just really confused, right now, Carmilla,” Laura said into her shoulder. _Please don’t pull away,_ she thought, as she tightened her grip. “Do...do you know _anything_?”

Carmilla was silent for a moment, as if trying to decide what to say, before sighing.

“I know Will. I know Mattie. And you’re...probably not wrong. But you don’t know what they’re up to...and I just want you to be careful, okay? Please don’t do anything that puts you in danger.”

“In _danger_?”

“I mean there are some powerful people in this industry and nothing you find is going to be worth jeopardizing your career over,” Carmilla said, rubbing her forehead. “I know we haven’t known each other long, and I can’t exactly tell you what to do - but I’d like to think I know you pretty well at this point… and I know once you have your teeth in something you’re too headstrong to just let it go. But I’m asking you to please, _please_ be careful... Depending on what you find it might be best, for _everyone_ , to just walk away. Okay?”

Laura looked in her eyes, searching for the meaning behind all this.

“Carm...what’s going on?”

“Look...” Carmilla pulled away. “It’s been a long night - it’s been a long few days. I need to sleep, and clearly you need to sleep. So let’s just...call it a night. We’ll talk about it another time?”

Laura nodded, knowing better than to press when Carmilla was already so closed off. She left for her room with a kiss on the cheek to Carmilla.

\---

It was pretty miraculous; Laura did not freak out on the plane. With Carmilla’s hand in hers, she could deal with the flight from D.C. to New York City.

Carmilla hadn’t brought up their conversation from last night, and Laura was afraid to - not that they even had the time. The band was immediately sent to a video studio in New Jersey to film thank you videos and commercials for the attendees of the event yesterday. Laura was not permitted to attend and Will was _way_ too happy to tell her that.

Settling into the hotel, Laura looked out the window and enjoyed her view of Central Park. Laura looked down at the scene below her, excited to be down there as well. She was by herself for the day, but was going to walk around New York City. It was her first time there - she had a list of things she wanted to see and explore.

She opened up her laptop and turned it on, intending on checking her email, _just in case_ , before leaving.

The first email she saw was from Perry.

To: Laura Hollis  
From: Lola Perry  
Subject: RE: Contract

This is...extensive, to say the least. A cursory glance shows me that they don’t own _any_ of the music they write with GDR. That explains why they’re doing all the covers; Carmilla’s always been protective of her work.

I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Lola Perry

The next was from J.P.. She took off her jacket. She could delay the whole touristy-experience, for just a little while.

She opened up the email and it linked to a Dropbox folder. It was full of different links and documents about Lilita Morgan. Articles outlining different aspects of her past life. Lots of information was altered and redacted though, all of which pertained to her family.

Laura opened up Lilita’s official Silas biography, given exclusively to stakeholders:

> _Lilita Morgan has been part of Silas Industries for nearly thirty years. Ms. Morgan has held several global leadership positions in her time at SI, including roles in SI’s Plastics, Energy, and Nautics businesses. In 1996 she was appointed president and chief executive officer, after the untimely death of Cornelius Belmonde and his wife, Magda._
> 
> _Well-known in the business world for her warm yet intimidating demeanour and twisted sense of humour, a day is hardly complete without hearing the ominous and powerful click of her heels and a ringing “Out of my way, worms!” echoing down the Silas halls. She was recently named, “World’s Most Effective CEO” by Fortune Magazine._
> 
> _Ms. Morgan is the Chair of the Silas Industries School of Business at Lustig University in France; a hall is named in her honour and the honour of her late second husband, Frederick Luce. Her first husband, Rainer Karnstein, was Chief Operating Officer at Silas Industries, before his sudden death._
> 
> _Ms. Morgan has three children: Matska Belmonde, who Ms. Morgan adopted after the death of her parents, now works in the entertainment industry. Her son, Wilhelm Luce, works in management. Her daughter, Mircalla Karnstein, passed away when she was 16 years old._

Mircalla Karnstein.

Laura stared at the name for a moment. Karnstein, that was Carmilla’s last name.

Mircalla.

 _Mircalla_. An anagram for Carmilla?

She shot J.P. an urgent text, asking him to find what he could about Mircalla and moments later he sent a new email - this time from J.P.’s personal email.

To: Laura Hollis  
From: J.P. A  
Subject: Styria

Don’t tell anyone you got this from me - but I’ve attached some information and software I’ve made, which will allow you to access some government databases. From Interpol to birth records, let’s just say no server or firewall is too secure for me.

-JpA

J.P. was a genius.

Sure, he was a little a lot outside the law, and so was she, but at this point she didn’t care. She downloaded the software he sent, which was designed to bypass any firewalls, change her proxy every few minutes, and mask her IP. She followed his instructions and then _bam!_ She was in.

And between J.P.’s methods and Google, Laura found it all.

‘Mircalla Karnstein’ was found in an Austrian database. She was born in Styria - just like Carmilla - to Rainer and Esther Karnstein. Laura Googled those names - Rainer was the Chief Operating Officer at Silas Industries. Esther died shortly after Mircalla was born; Rainer remarried soon thereafter.

Rainer’s second wife’s name is Lilita Morgan. When he died suddenly - suspiciously, really -  Lilita took over as COO. And clearly Lilita  moved up since then, as, of course, she was currently the CEO of Silas Industries.

At this point, Laura was 100% sure. Mircalla was Carmilla.

 _Something_ must have happened - there were so many documents that refer to a “Mircalla”, then suddenly nothing, as though she disappeared. Another suspicious accident, leading to her death, then _nothing_.

But now, everything was clear. Lilita didn’t just get Will his job, but she got Carmilla’s band’s record deal. She also got them their tour. She got them the coverage they’re currently getting.

Non! Anon were being used to leverage Silas Industries success. Pawns to get more power. Lilita was using the band to strengthen business relationships.

And suddenly, Carmilla’s _extreme_ discomfort with their music was made clear. Carmilla _hated_ her mother - was betrayed, erased. Of course she was uncomfortable. Carmilla ran away, and instead of searching for her, her mother just pretended she died. She might as well have been locked away.

So why was Lilita helping them now?

Was getting the band to where they were Lilita’s way of making amends for being a terrible mother? And why was Carmilla hiding the fact that she was related to Mattie and Will? Clearly the other members in the band had no idea.

The idea that Carmilla might be in on it struck her.

Carmilla would _never_ , right? These were terrible people - Silas was an awful organization, working with awful businesses. Carmilla would never be so immoral, be so awful, than to be willing to work with someone like Lilita Morgan and Silas Industries. But by Carmilla’s own admission, she was poor before all of this. Was she getting a pay off?

Laura shook her head. Why would she even think that? Carmilla would _never_. Carmilla was a good person, she would never just...fall at her mother’s will. Especially after being abandoned by her the way she was.

Carmilla wouldn’t.

Right?

Laura started typing.

She wrote down every bit of information she had, with references and links. She wrote about the band being used to leverage deals and contacts. Concerts used as fronts to make shady dealings. She wrote about the sudden “death” of Mircalla and the reemergence of Carmilla. She wrote about Carmilla’s potential compliance, betraying her bandmates in a record deal that was awful, where they’d likely end up with nothing.

She was about to drag it into the Dropbox she shared with Cochrane when her phone buzzed next to her.

A new text message from Carmilla. “Can I see you when we get back?”

Laura stopped herself.

She lifted her finger off the trackpad.

_No._

Laura couldn’t do this. She couldn’t betray Carmilla. She had to talk to her, tell her everything she knew, let Carmilla explain for herself.

She slammed her laptop shut. She had to get out.

\---

After walking around the city - not really _seeing_ anything, too absorbed in her thoughts - she made her way back to to the hotel.

She was a ball of nervous energy. She’d gone through every scenario and the only one where she had a shot in hell at doing anything resembling _the right thing_ for her relationship involved her telling Carmilla first.

At least that’s what she thought. Maybe.

No, she definitely was. She was going to lay it all out and tell Carmilla everything. Everything that she’d found out, everything she’d been told. She had to.

She needed to girl the hell up and just _tell her_.

She stopped outside Carmilla’s room door, her hand lifted up to knock, when she pulled away.

 _No_ , she should go back to her room first, get her laptop and _show_ her. Yeah.

Laura walked down the hall to her room. Maybe she’d get a glass of water first, calm her nerves. She’d been walking all day, a glass of water would’ve been good for her. Maybe a snack too.

She was definitely not delaying. At all.

She unlocked her door and gasped.

Carmilla was sitting on her bed; Laura had forgotten she’d given her extra room key to her.

“Hey,” Laura said, approaching slowly.

She _really_ didn’t want to talk to her...

“Hey.”

She had to.

Carmilla was hunched over, elbows on her knees, looking tired and stressed.

“Everything okay?” Laura asked.

“Uh, yeah-” Carmilla stopped, then stood up. She closed her eyes, as if trying to work up the nerve for _something_. Laura had never really seen Carmilla so unsure. It scared her.

“I think you might be it for me.”

Laura’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I think you’re it,” she repeated, this time holding her gaze.  

“I’m... _it_?”

“Look, I’m not good with the whole feelings thing…and I know we haven’t known each other long, but _this_...” Carmilla took a step forward.

“Carm…” Laura started tearing up. She needed to talk to her about all the Silas stuff; she should’ve gone first. But Carmilla was standing in front of her, so open, so vulnerable, and Laura couldn’t. She couldn’t speak.

“You’re...it,” Carmilla said, her voice shaking. “I’m not looking anymore. I never really thought the idea of having someone be _for_ you, but...I think...I’m supposed to be with you.”

“It’s been a month,” Carmilla continued. “A month since we’ve met and barely ten days since I got the nerve to kiss you for the first time, but it feels like longer. I feel like I’ve known you for forever. And you’ve been distracted for the last few days...” Carmilla sighed, the worry on her face becoming _too much_ for Laura, “I hope that’s it, that you’ve been distracted with work and that you’re not becoming disinterested in me, because…”

Looking back on it later, this was the moment where Laura knew for sure that she was in love.

Carmilla cupped both hands over Laura’s cheeks. Her eyes watered, and Laura wanted nothing more than to make her sure about her again.

Laura was sure.

“Whatever’s been on your mind - please just, for one night, forget about it. Just...pretend. Pretend that you and I didn’t have to deal with your work and my work, and this tour. That we could just be _us_. We could run away, where no one would know us...” She pressed her forehead against Laura’s. “It would just be you and me in love.”

All thoughts of Silas, of Lilita Morgan and Carmilla’s past, and whatever conspiracy there might’ve been, left her. Instead the need for what Carmilla was describing to be real overwhelmed her.

So Laura kissed her.

Slowly at first, as though to revel in the feeling of being with Carmilla. Her lips moved languidly with Carmilla’s, almost torturously slow. Their lips fit together, Carmilla’s tongue licking into her mouth. The quick, light tugs of Laura’s teeth on Carmilla’s bottom lip. The frantic, tight tugs against her hair.

Laura felt the back of her knees hit the bed, so she sat, pulling away briefly to bring Carmilla down with her, grabbing at her ass and lifting her to straddle her. Laura kept her hands in place, running them up and down the backs of Carmilla’s thighs to the small of her back, as Carmilla leaned down to suck on her pulsepoint, something that always left Laura a mess.

Laura’s breath hitched before she grabbed Carmilla’s face, bringing their lips together, then dropping her hands to her hips, pushing and grinding Carmilla onto her lap. When Carmilla’s hands reached the buttons of her shirt, Laura pushed them aside, undoing the buttons herself. Soon Carmilla’s top was off too.

They stared at each other, then Carmilla reached behind Laura for the clasp on her back. She held her fingers there, searching her eyes for consent. She gasped “ _yes_ ”, frantically nodding, encouraging her to remove it, before doing the same to Carmilla’s.

Carmilla climbed off Laura, standing at the foot of the bed. Laura was speechless. Her eyes scanned her body, the newly exposed skin; Carmilla was _beautiful_. She was beautiful, and Laura felt so weak, so desperate to be _hers_ already.

She looked up into Carmilla’s eyes, and she almost looked like she was in awe. Then Carmilla placed her hand on button of Laura’s jeans. She leaned down, kissing her gently, softly, as though not to startle Laura away.

“Can I?” she asked against Laura’s lips.

Laura nodded. Both their jeans were removed, with some difficulty, as Laura couldn’t bare to stop herself from kissing Carmilla, then they climbed up on the bed, lying together and facing one another.

Carmilla pulled the waistband of Laura’s underwear down, slipping them past her legs, before sitting up and quickly pulling off her own. Laura reached for her and pulled her down on top, the feeling of skin-against-skin causing her to gasp. She felt herself tremble, as she brought Carmilla’s lips to her own, hungrily kissing her as she trailed her fingers everywhere she could.

 _Skin_. There was so much skin. Every place she’d touch for the first time made her feel like her nerve endings were electric. It was too much. Almost.

She slipped her leg between Carmilla’s, bending it, encouraging Carmilla to grind onto it and feeling her wetness on her thigh. Her unrestrained moan only encouraged her further; Laura rolled them over, overwhelmed by the need to make Carmilla make those noises again.

“Fuck, Laura,” Carmilla whimpered, as Laura inched her mouth lower, from her neck, to her collar, to her breasts.

Carmilla’s hand shot up to Laura’s head, clutching at her and keeping her in place. As Laura worked her way, from breast to breast, she thrust her hips into Carmilla, who continued to buck into her. Laura let herself get momentarily lost in the feeling, her own moan slipping past her lips continued her ascent. The lower she got, the more frantic and needy Carmilla’s groans became.

When she she entered her, Carmilla moaned, deep and long, almost like the pressure was a release of everything that had been building between them. (Laura, decidedly a fan of every noise Carmilla made, mentally ranked that sound at the top of her list.)

As her mouth finally found her center, Carmilla groaned. Every move - push and pull with her fingers, taste and lick with her mouth - made Carmilla writhe, beg, and gasp. With her other hand, she held Carmilla’s hips down, which were almost in a frenzy under Laura.

Usually so poised and controlled, Carmilla was completely at her mercy. Nothing was sexier than hearing Carmilla gasp out, “ _more,”_ and “ _harder_.” She took the direction and Laura herself let out an involuntary moan, as Carmilla came, tight around her fingers, Laura’s mouth against her, their eyes locked on each other’s.

“You...are perfect,” Carmilla breathed as she came down from her high, looking at Laura with _so much_ reverence, Laura could’ve weeped.

“Wow,” Laura said. _“Wow.”_  

“No.” Carmilla gently pushed Laura’s shoulder, rolling on top of her. “ _You_ don’t know what ‘wow’ is until I’m done with you.”

Laura barely contained her whimpering, then her cries, then her begging, as Carmilla proved that to be true.

_Wow._

\---

They stayed in the next day. They were supposed to spend time with the other band members and explore New York City together, but they had _better_ things to do. New discoveries to make.

For example, Laura didn’t know she could be _that_ aggressive, that needy and loud. She didn’t know someone could be _that_ vulnerable while in completely control. She didn’t know someone could just... _know_ her so quickly. She didn’t know someone could make every ridiculous pop song about sex and love and romance _make sense_.

And she would’ve been completely mortified with herself if she wasn’t surrounded by the obnoxiously happy post-sex (sex-break?) afterglow.

Right now, they just finished lunch - they shared a burger and fries and a bottle of “ludicrously expensive champagne,” which Carmilla said she charged to Will’s room - and Carmilla was currently lying in bed, writing in her songbook and humming to herself. She was over the covers with very little concern for modesty.

Laura wasn’t complaining of course.

“What do you think about this,” Carmilla asked, before singing: “ _Three in the afternoon, we still haven't moved. Siren sighs echo, a pulse through our window. I don't mind, I don't mind this wasted, shaded daylight._ ”

“Are you writing about us?”

“Of course I am. You’re kind of the perfect muse.”

For a moment Laura watched - she was _enthralled_ with this woman - before grabbing her laptop. She climbed onto the bed and took off her bathrobe, tossing it at the foot of the bed. Then she leaned against Carmilla and opened her laptop.

 _The article was still open_.

Laura’s eyes went wide, and Carmilla glanced at the screen before looking back at her songbook.

“What’s that?” she asked, distractedly.

“Ah!” Laura tapped the keys randomly then shut her laptop shut. “Nothing. It was nothing.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes then pressed her lips to Laura’s neck. “Was it your article for _The Society_.”

Laura felt her mouth dry up.

“The one where you talk about how sexy and incredible I am?”

Laura let out a sigh of relief, then tried to mask it with a laugh.

“You caught me. I don’t want you to read it until it’s ready,” she lied.

Carmilla grinned then gave her a chaste kiss on her lips (well, chasted compared to the kisses they’d shared that day, anyway).

Laura should’ve told her about the article, shown it to her, gotten her to explain her side, because Laura _knew_ that whatever was going on, Carmilla would’ve been able to stop all these crazy ideas of her being part of the ‘conspiracy.’ Whatever happened, Laura _knew_ Carmilla. She wouldn’t have ever been working with Lilita Morgan. She would’ve never done this to her friends willingly.

But she couldn’t. She didn’t want to ruin this cocoon, this fantasy of just the two of them together, in love. With the way that Carmilla looked at her? She didn’t want that to stop. She was selfish and awful, but she’d deal with the consequences later.

\---

@DannyLawrence: Happy birthday, mom. It’s the first birthday of yours I’ve missed in my life and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there! :( Love you!

@KirschNonAnon: Today I had a killer pilsner in Brooklyn and I couldn’t stop thinking about my bros back home. Miss you dudes. << Attached photo: Picture of Kirsch, LaFontaine and Danny at a bar. >>

@NonLaFonNon: I miss my bed, my city, and my partner. #sap

@CarmillaAnon: Breathtaking. << Attached photo: Picture from her hotel room of the view of Central Park. Laura’s in the photo, sitting in the chair by the window in a bathrobe. >>

@NonLaFonNon: @CarmillaAnon it’s a shame that @Laura2TheSociety’s ruining it with her face.

@DannyLawrence: @CarmillaAnon @Laura2TheSociety gross

@KirschNonAnon: @CarmillaAnon @Laura2TheSociety *kissy face*

@Laura2TheSociety: Check out the latest blog for tips from Non! Anon’s make-up artist! www.thesocietymag.com #NonAnonOnTour

\---

The band had just gone on stage, playing their show at the Gramercy. It was sold out, the energy was incredible.

And Laura felt like throwing up.

Since yesterday, she had almost twenty missed calls. Even more emails and texts. All from Jane Cochrane. All urgent.

See, Laura accidentally put the article in the Dropbox and Cochrane read it. And she loved it and wanted to publish it immediately.

And Laura was fucked.


	12. Boston to Albany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to platypiandi and my wife for their help with this chapter. The [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPiM0BldMiM) [featured](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TKYFxx2N0) is by Lights.

“No.”

“Jane, please-”

“Laura, I know you’re in a relationship with her, but this is too juicy - too important - to let go.”

This was her third conversation with her editor since Laura realized what she’d done, and she hadn’t yet been able to make it right. And while it seems as though Laura was fighting a losing battle, she couldn’t give up. She wouldn’t.

“Please, you don’t understand -”

“No, I don’t! Laura, this is _your chance_. This is your big break; you could work anywhere if and when we break this. That big opportunity to be a real journalist? Any newspaper would be an idiot to not try to steal you when this comes out.”

Laura’s stomach dropped. 

“Please, Jane. I’m begging you,” she said, trying to force back her tears. She was tired of crying. 

“Look, don’t make me regret putting you on this tour. Don’t make me send you home. There’s no turning back so either suck it up or quit. Either way, it’s going to be published.”

\---

They left straight for Boston after the show.

Laura ran past security before the band left the venue, pushing through and ignoring the fans with their cell phones out, taking photos and yelling questions at her about the band, about Carmilla, about who she was. 

What usually overwhelmed her at other shows was just white noise now.

There was just so much regret and guilt to contend with. 

She was torn. This was her career. Her lifelong dream of being a successful investigative journalist, exposing corruption and fraud and the terrible bad people of the world. But she never took into account how she’d make her way up and she never imagined it would end up like this. And the fact that she was going to have to betray someone she loved for the opportunity to be successful?

She thought she knew who she was, what she wanted - but now she wasn’t sure.

When the others finally made their way on board, Laura tried not to make her upset obvious. She passed it off for feeling sick, which Carmilla responded by being _so_ wonderful and thoughtful, making sure they had orange juice and soup for her on the bus before they left. 

She stuck to her bunk for the four hour trip. She kept her phone close to her, texting J.P., who found out about her mistake. Fortunately, he was on her side - he managed to convince Cochrane to not share the article or what happened with anyone else - for a day, at least. That was a small blessing - if this could be contained, she’d be able to keep it from getting out, or at least tell Carmilla about it and get her side. She just needed to figure out how.

She pretended to be asleep when she felt her curtains open and felt Carmilla’s hand press up against her forehead, checking on her halfway through the bus ride. 

When they arrived, Carmilla very carefully opened her curtain again and softly pressed her lips to Laura’s cheek to wake her. 

“Are you feeling better, sweetheart?” she whispered, her eyes filled with concern and tenderness and what Laura was afraid to call love but she was pretty sure it was there.

She felt even worse.

Laura nodded, feebly, and let Carmilla help her out of her bunk. Carmilla grabbed their stuff and got their room keys from Will, who even looked a little concerned for Laura. 

She let Carmilla lead her up to her room, let Carmilla help her get ready for bed, and let her hold her. For just one more night.

\---

To: Jane Cochrane  
From: Laura Hollis  
Subject: Exposé

Please Jane; let me get more information from Carmilla. Let me talk to her before you run this.

-Laura

\---

_“So, Carmilla - are you seeing anyone?”_

As distracted as Laura was, this question - and the awkward laughter from everyone in the room - caught her attention.

They were at some radio station. Laura was waiting for any free moment to talk to Carmilla, but their time in Boston was scheduled full of press and events. In the meantime, she couldn’t stop herself from checking her phone for emails or texts from Cochrane or J.P. She had heard nothing this morning, but she supposed no news was good news. 

Carmilla glanced up at Laura, who stood on the other side of the window, looking into the broadcasting booth where the band sat with the interviewer.

_“I am,”_ she answered honestly, the excitement in her voice echoing through the microphone. Carmilla blushed a little, then continued, _“I’m not even going to play it coy.”_

The interviewer whistled in surprise. Laura didn’t even bother to get his name, she was _so_ off her game. _“I’m surprised you admitted that.”_

Everyone laughed again; Laura grimaced but tried to cover it. She looked up at Will who stood next to her.

“Don’t draw attention to yourself, Laura,” he warned. 

She rolled her eyes. “I’m just standing here, I’m not doing _anything_.” 

_“Well, I’m pretty happy right now, so it’s hard for me to not gush about her,”_ Carmilla confessed, taking Laura’s attention again.

_“They’re pretty disgusting,”_ LaFontaine said. 

_“The single members of the band find it to be particularly obnoxious,”_ Danny added. Kirsch nodded, not really grasping the whole ‘radio’ aspect of the interview.

The radio jockey laughed again, then said, _“Well, I can hear the hearts breaking of many girls around the world. I don’t suppose you’ll tell us her name?”_

Carmilla looked up at Laura again then shrugged. _“That you won’t get out of me.”_

The jockey followed her gaze and grinned.

_“Is it_ Laura Hollis _?”_ the interviewer asked, emphasizing her name. Laura felt her face turn red, heat rising up her cheeks.

Oh god…

Carmilla smirked. _“The internet seems to think it is.”_

_“Well, see, you guys walked in this morning, trailing behind you was your manager, which made sense, and this beautiful woman who I recognized from a lot of Tweets I’d gotten this week from the Anon fans,”_ the jockey said. _“When I announced you guys were coming in, and the number one question I got was about you and Laura, Carmilla. She’s with you guys all the time, there are some pictures of you two that look cozy. And she’s standing right behind the glass with your manager....”_

LaFontaine, who was sitting closest to the window, turned and gave her a sympathetic smile. They mouthed, “ _yikes_ ” to her. 

_“Let’s bring her in! You and Carmilla can set the record straight! Or_ gay _, I guess,”_ the jockey joked, obnoxiously waving her over.

“Oh, no thank you-” was all that Laura could say, before the interview was cut short by the annoyed wave of Will’s hand. 

\---

To: Laura Hollis  
From: Jane Cochrane  
Subject: RE: Exposé

You have three days.

-Jane

\---

There were just two ways to deal with this: 

  * Not tell Carmilla, and betray Carmilla in a horrible, public, awful way that would make her hate her forever. Or….
  * Tell Carmilla and warn her, and betray Carmilla in a horrible, public, awful way that would make her hate her forever...but at least she’d be the one to tell her first.



Either way, Laura lost.

And it didn't help that Carmilla was _perfect_. She was so proud of her and didn't want to hide anything about their relationship. It made Laura feel more ashamed. 

It was the end of their second day in Boston and everyone was back at the hotel. The press day had exhausted the band and the show was hard on them.

Everyone just seemed drained.

Laura had her reasons, of course, but for the band? It seemed as though the weeks of being on the go, away from their loved ones, constantly being told where to go and how to act, were taking its toll. 

And despite this, despite the worry and tired in Carmilla’s eyes, Laura asked her to come to her room. She _needed_ to tell her now. She had her computer on, the article selected and ready to be opened.

Then Carmilla showed up at her door, with her guitar case in one hand and her songbook in the other. 

Carmilla’s smile was nervous, which was something Laura had not ever seen in Carmilla before, but her smile was still so completely _for Laura only_. 

“I wrote a song for you,” Carmilla said shyly. 

And again, Laura lost all willpower.

Next thing she knew, they were tumbling into bed, pulling clothes off each other, drowning themselves in one another. The guitar was propped up against the desk, which had the laptop on it, both ignored.

Later, Laura only noticed her computer, still open but the screen dark, while she laid on the bed next to Carmilla. They were only covered by the bedsheet and Carmilla had her guitar in her arms. 

And Carmilla sang to her. 

_“From the busy parks to the icy tides, some day we'll decide where we want to live out our lives. For now we’re two sparks, tumbling along, keeping the heat on even though summer's come and gone.”_

Laura knew she was selfish. She knew she was making it worse for herself. But the near-palpable feeling in the room, literally cocooning her, keeping her from reality, overshadowed all of that. She was falling more and more in love with Carmilla, and she knew that the moment she’d tell Carmilla about what she had done, Carmilla would stop.

_“I would sail across the east sea, just to see you on the far side. Where the wind is cold and angry, there you'll be to take me inside. We'll find ways to fill the empty, far from all the hysteria. I don't care if we suddenly find ourselves in Siberia.”_

She couldn’t break this moment. She’d hold on to Carmilla for as long as she could.

At the end of the song, Laura pulled the guitar out of Carmilla’s hands. Silently, she set it aside before returning to the bed and bringing Carmilla into her arms.

She wanted to forget about everything except for her and Carmilla. So in that moment, she did. 

One more night, she could pretend to run away with her. From the disappointments and betrayals and heartbreak.

One more night, because who knew what would happen next.

\---

The next morning, Laura woke up at peace in Carmilla arms. She stopped herself from feeling the regret, the guilt, the shame.

She gave herself five minutes, five minutes to fantasize and pretend that everything was going to be okay. 

Maybe when she would tell her, Carmilla would understand. Carmilla would say she had no idea, that she was surprised, and Laura would believe her, because it was true. Carmilla would then get Laura to contact _The Society_ immediately, with Non! Anon’s full statement of shock and support for Laura’s exposé.

Or maybe Carmilla would laugh - completely confused. She would explain that Laura was wrong, entirely wrong, and that everything was just a _huge_ coincidence, and that Laura’s imagination was out of control.

Or maybe Laura was overreacting. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Carmilla would be understanding. Maybe Laura was preparing for the worst.

Maybe.

Maybe if Laura told her sooner, everything would've been fine.

Maybe.

She pressed her lips to Carmilla’s neck, breathing in her scent one last time. She looked at the clock. Her five minutes were up.

Laura bit her lip, stopping it from quivering, and blinked back tears. She slowly moved herself out of Carmilla’s arms, trying to ignore the sigh of contentment from Carmilla. She quietly got ready for the day, grabbing her luggage and going straight to the bus, leaving Carmilla asleep in her room.

On the way to Albany, Laura distanced herself from Carmilla. She couldn’t keep stringing her along, so without any opportunity to really _talk_ to Carmilla, she just avoided her. She worked on a blog entry with LaFontaine. Planned a vlog with Danny and Kirsch. When they arrived at the location for their corporate gig, she went to interview the crew as they set up. In a more desperate effort to avoid Carmilla, she interviewed Will (which was a horrible idea and only served to upset her more). 

The next day she tried to speak to her, but unlike most show days, there seemed to be less downtime. Will scheduled all of their spare time, barely giving them any time to eat, much less have a conversation. 

But even when Carmilla tried to be affectionate with her, Laura would stiffen. She could see the hurt in Carmilla’s eyes, but she couldn’t help it. I was just _too much_. 

The others could tell too, as they gave Carmilla sad looks and threw glares in Laura’s direction. 

Their Albany show went awfully - Carmilla was distracted, they were all exhausted, and it threw the entire band off. A few times words were forgotten, intros were screwed up. The fans didn’t seem to notice, but for the first time in a while, Will chewed them out after the show.

Laura’s time had run out. The next morning, she had to give Cochrane enough reason to not run the article and she didn’t know if she could.

The guilt was too overwhelming. She knew they had to talk, but she wasn’t brave enough to tell her… she was terrified.

Before bed, Laura sent the article to Perry. A few minutes later, Laura received a text. 

“Laura, are you absolutely sure about this?” her message read. “Have you spoken to Carmilla about it yet? Have you shown anyone?”

Laura laughed humorlessly. She texted back, explaining what happened, which Lola replied with, “I’m meeting with Mattie tomorrow morning. Don’t do anything rash.”

Too late.

\---

A few hard knocks on her door woke her. She turned on her lamp and looked at the clock - it was a little after 3 am. She very cautiously tiptoed to the peephole and saw Carmilla. 

The stress, the guilt, and her intense feelings for Carmilla - the last few days hit her in that moment.  She felt her eyes water.

“What’s going on?” Carmilla asked, as Laura opened the door.

“Hello to you too, Carmilla,” she said, not helping the bite in her tone. Carmilla’s face dropped; Laura hated herself even more.

Laura moved aside, letting her into the room. Laura bit her lip, feeling it quiver. She wish she had more rest. She wish she could speak, properly, explain what was going on. She had thought about this conversation a million times; she ran through every scenario - so she thought. But right now? Carmilla looking so confused and hurt, and her feeling so drained and exhausted? This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She immediately started crying.

“Laura,” Carmilla pulled her into her arms. “Laura, please, you’re scaring me.” 

Carmilla’s comforting words only made Laura cry harder.

This was it; this was going to break them.

She should’ve told her before.

“Sweetheart, _please_ ,” Carmilla said, her voice wavering. “What’s going on? You’ve been avoiding me, and I...I need to know why. Are you breaking up with me? Was it the song?”

Laura pulled back, startled that Carmilla would even _think_ that. The fragility in words broke her. She shook her head, hiccuping a little before feeling the tears spill out more. 

“What did I do?” Carmilla asked. This time her eyes watered too. 

Laura let go and moved through her room. She grabbed her laptop; it was still on, so she opened the file.

“Laura, come on. We need to talk this out.” Carmilla was frustrated. She clenched her fists and frowned, trying to take the computer away from Laura.

“No, Carm, _read it._ ” She thrust the laptop in Carmilla’s arms, forcing her to look at the screen. 

She watched Carmilla read the headline - _“Corruption, Nepotism, and Covers: On Tour With The World’s Biggest Rock Brand.”_  Her expression darkened. 

Carmilla looked at Laura, her mouth agape, then sat down on her bed, scrolling through the article.

Laura stared at her. She needed to see every expression, every reaction. Carmilla sneered, she scowled. She silently and angrily reacted while reading it, eyes watering as she muttered quotes under her breath.

At the end of the document, she looked up at Laura, so angry and betrayed, and she asked, “Do you really think this of me?”

Laura shook her head. “I don’t...but I don’t know what to think.”

Carmilla closed the computer and threw it back on the bed. 

“It looks like you do. It looks like you’re set in what you think of me. A puppet, someone’s who’s dragged her friends into a fucked up situation, just to do her mom’s bidding? Is that really who you think I am, Laura?!”

Laura shook her head again. “No, Carmilla. But I’ve been researching this as long as I’ve been on tour, and while I’ve fallen for you-”

“-Don’t. Don’t say that right now,” Carmilla cautioned, her voice shaking. Laura took a step forward, trying to calm her, help her see her side.

She just wishes everything was different.

“No, Carmilla, I’ve _fallen for you_ ,” she cried. Carmilla scoffed, flinching away as Laura tried to place her hands on her, like Laura was on fire. “But I don’t know what’s the truth. You saw the proof. All signs point to this article being fact. So please, just tell me the truth.”

Carmilla glowered. Any glimpse of love Carmilla had for her wasn’t shown in her expression, and part of Laura died inside. 

“I was _buried_.”

“What?”

“I was buried, erased, _eliminated_.” Carmilla's voice was barely above a whisper, so full of disgust and hurt. “I didn’t serve a purpose for my mother anymore. She removed me from the family history when I left - she had enough money and power to do so, so she did. She tried to control every part of my life and when her gay daughter wasn’t getting fixed, she just got rid of me. Mircalla died. Carmilla was born.

“Mattie secretly helped me; she found me the youth shelter, she sent me money when she could for a few years. She bought me a guitar, she helped me find classes. Music saved me. It was the only thing Maman forced me to do that I didn’t hate. And I was happy, I was making something productive, I was being myself. When I found out LaFontaine played and we played together, everything just made sense. We were _so good_. And we knew it.

“Mattie was able to make a life for herself - away from Maman, so we thought. So I told her about my band. She came to listen - I didn’t tell the others who she was, that she was my sister, it was going to be a surprise. She got us signed. I thought for once, everything was going to be okay.”

Carmilla sat on the bed. She smiled sadly at this memory. She looked _so_ tired and Laura’s instinct to comfort her almost took over. But she knew she shouldn’t. She was closed off; her arms were crossed, she was looking down. She didn’t want Laura near her. 

“Then the record deal changed suddenly - Mattie explained to me the fine print: We would get next to nothing. We wouldn’t own any of our original songs. We’d be on the hook to pay for everything - music videos, studio time, staff. The record company and its owners would get everything. But it was too late to back down at that point.”

She bit her lip, holding back her tears before speaking again. “This was because Maman found me. Silas Industries bought the record company, because she said she wanted to ‘support her daughter and her dreams.’ But I know her; she just wanted to control me and make sure I wasn’t going to tell people about what she did. She has no guilt for what she did to me. She _killed_ me, I didn’t matter. And I told her I was going to tell everyone and that we weren’t going to sign.”

Laura sat next to her and slowly, cautiously, put her hand on her knee. She took it as a good sign when Carmilla didn’t push her off. 

“So she told me if I didn’t go through with this...she threatened the others. She said she’d kill our careers before they even happened and I _knew_ she could. I couldn’t let that happen to them. Other than Mattie, they’re the only people who’ve stuck with me.

“They deserve good things,” Carmilla continued, “So I bargained with her - I said I’d stay in the band if she promised they’d get more money or whatever, so that’s what happened. The others still don’t know. They don’t know about my past; they don’t know about Mattie or Will.”

Finally, almost as if snapping out of her spell, Carmilla noticed Laura’s hand on her and pushed it off. 

“Now everything I loved - this band, my music, my friends - they all belong to my mother. And now _you_? You aren’t even mine.”

“Carmilla…”

“No, Laura. I’ve told you everything now, isn’t this what you wanted?” Carmilla said, standing up again, quickly wiping her fingers from her eyes. She glared and Laura couldn’t even speak. “Did you only get close to me to expose us?”

“Oh, god no, Carm,”

Carmilla laughed, bitter and angry. “I don’t believe you.”

“I want to help you, Carmilla,” she cried, trying to hold her hands. 

“Then delete the article. Just drop it!”

Laura closed her eyes, trying to stop her own tears. “I can’t. I sent it. By accident.”

“By accident?!” 

“I didn’t mean to - I’ve been trying to get _The Society_ to pull it but...” 

Carmilla clenched her fists a few times then walked towards the door. 

“I can’t be here. I can’t trust you. I can’t fucking believe - I should’ve known not to trust you,” she cried, almost talking to herself. “People don’t care about me, they just want to control me, to manipulate me. I should’ve seen this coming - I wanted to believe you _actually_ cared....”

“ _I do_ care about you! I’m trying to get it pulled, Carmilla, please believe me,” she said, following after her. “Let me tell people the truth - let me tell people _your_ truth. I want to help you!”

She grabbed her hand, trying to stop her; Carmilla pulled it away, almost throwing Laura off her.

“Don’t. Don’t talk to me. Don’t come near me. We’re done.”

Carmilla left. Laura stood staring straight ahead in shock, unsure if what just happened was the worst nightmare of her life or a terrible reality. 

Unfortunately, reality was confirmed a few moments later when she jumped at the sound of what she knew to be Carmilla slamming her own door shut.

It was over.

This was it. They were done.

And it was all her fault.

\--- 

Laura didn’t get out of bed the next day. She pretended to be sick and missed the private event. Not that it mattered. It was a matter of time before the others would find out about what happened and she couldn’t deal with that.

She was an outsider once again.

All for what? A _story_? Something she could’ve handled _way_ better and sooner and maybe she wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. 

More than ever, she was convinced that she needed to expose Carmilla’s mother. She needed to get Non! Anon out of the record deal and make things _right_ again. 

She was ashamed of herself for thinking Carmilla could be part of this. She was ashamed of herself for not going to her _first_. 

She needed to do the right thing for Carmilla, and show Carmilla that she was valuable and needed and deserved better than what she’d gotten in the past. Better than how Laura treated her.

She didn’t know how to, but she _needed_ to.

Laura kept trying to get a hold of Cochrane, who seemed to be avoiding her. Twelve calls, all unanswered. Several more emails, and nothing.

In between calls to her editor, she got a hold of Perry, who confirmed what Carmilla said about their record deal. After paying their fees, only about 8% of their profits would be shared amongst LaFontaine, Kirsch, and Danny. If the “primary songwriter” - that being Carmilla - refused to provide songs to the record company, that member would receive just 1%. If the primary songwriter wrote music (that was submitted to the record company, for use up to the record company’s discretion), that person would get 10% of the royalties.

It was designed to force Carmilla to make a tough decision. Make ( _barely_ any) money, lose the music.

Further, if they were to break the record deal - they’d owe all the money spent back to the record label, and somehow pay out their contracts to the various sponsors they had - all Silas Industries companies.

They would owe millions of dollars that they didn’t have.

Laura told her everything else about what happened to Carmilla. It _infuriated_ Perry, but again, she told Laura not to do anything yet. Perry said she wanted herself and Laura to figure it out together, when their heads were cooler.

She almost threw her phone against the wall when Perry hung up.

Laura needed to do something _now_.

She tried Cochrane one more time and she was _finally_ able to get through.

“Laura?”

“Jane! Holy crap, you’re hard to get a hold of!” Then Laura spoke - rambled, really - repeating everything Carmilla told her - the shitty contract, her being forced by her mother to be in this deal, her sacrificing for her bandmates. She spoke so fast, urging the editor to change her mind, to not run the story - or to at least expose Lilita Morgan. She didn’t give Jane a chance to interrupt - but when she did, she felt like she was slapped.

“Laura, I was just visited by representatives from Silas Industries. Lilita Morgan knows that you know everything and the story has been pulled.” Cochrane sighed. “You’re off the tour; you’re leaving tonight. A car will be sent to pick you up in an hour.”

\---

@TheSocietyMag: Due to unforeseen circumstances, @Laura2TheSociety is no longer going to be part of the #NonAnonOnTour. 

@TheSocietyMag: Follow @NonAnonOfficial for the latest updates from the road! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still on a break, but you can reach me on Tumblr at uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com. But I'll try to get the next chapter up in a reasonable amount of time.


	13. Toronto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to platypiandi and my wife, as usual. Also, [these](https://www.amazon.com/Oryx-Crake-Margaret-Atwood/dp/0385721676) [are](https://www.amazon.ca/Girls-Like-Us-Simon-Generation/dp/0743491483) the books referenced and I highly recommend them.

It was kind of pathetic.

Laura always used to judge people who struggled with bad break-ups. She never understood the need to mope and cry over a lost love. Sometimes people broke up. Good relationships never ended so break-ups were good things.

But that mentality was hard for her to understand in this moment.

Coming back home, so abruptly, without closure or even without saying goodbye? It hurt.

Having something that felt so _right_ end because she screwed it up? It hurt even more.

When she wasn’t at work, she nursed her big tub of chocolate ice cream, wore the sweater she’d stolen from Carmilla and listened to sad songs about love that she totally understood now. She let herself grieve the relationship. Or so she tried.

Laura texted Carmilla, trying to warn her about what happened, but it seemed as though she was beaten to the punch. Her phone number was blocked and when she tried to contact her and the others on social media, she found she was blocked that way too.

When Carmilla said her mother had erased her, she didn’t really understand what that meant until it happened to her.

Laura still had no idea how Lilita found out. Her immediate thought was Carmilla, but...god, she hated that she thought that. Carmilla would never, Laura knew that now. Who else knew? Perry? J.P.? Those two seemed like they were on her side. And Mattie, according to Carmilla, was trustworthy. She’d been helping her, after all.

When she went back to Toronto and her job, she was forced to sign _another_ Non-Disclosure Agreement. The people who were aware of what happened - Jane, J.P., and to a lesser extent, S.J. and Natalie - all looked at her with pity. 

The other people at the magazine judged her.

Laura the failure. 

There were two stories that Laura had heard. The first was that Laura couldn’t deal with the pressure. Little brown-noser Laura, who everyone thought was too eager but not good enough, signed up for something too big for her. She couldn’t deal with the pressure so they fired her. 

The second - more popular story - was that she was fired from her job due to her relationship with Carmilla. That Laura failed to fulfill her duties on the road because she was distracted and unprofessional. That Carmilla dumped her - living up to her reputation of being a womanizing asshole - and Laura couldn’t deal and was sent home.

Both theories _sucked_ but she couldn’t do much to defend herself.

Damn NDA.

Laura still kept up with the tour though. Coming home, she could see how big the band had gotten. She couldn’t go anywhere without seeing the band plastered everywhere - seeing Carmilla’s face everywhere stung. It was really not great for getting over someone. 

(Of course, she didn’t _want_ to get over her, she wanted to fix things and get her back.)

Non! Anon were in Montreal for a few days, then going to Ottawa next. Corporate gigs and meetings with politicians filled the schedule, if Laura remembered correctly. Then they were back to Toronto. 

And according to their social media, which reeked of Will’s influence, everything was great and everyone was as happy as ever.

She didn’t believe it though, almost obsessively watching footage from the Montreal show as soon as fans started posting them. 

They looked more exhausted than ever. Carmilla looked upset, barely able to crack a smile. LaFontaine sounded weak, their voice clearly exhausted. Danny lost a lot of her energy on stage, and Kirsch didn’t stand out the way he always did.

And Laura was more convinced than ever that she needed to do something. She needed to save the band.

\---

In her two days of being back home, Laura was certain of one thing: She was glad she wasn’t a lawyer.

Being relegated to busy work at the magazine (she was personally surprised that she hadn’t been fired for all this) gave her a lot of free time to stew about this record deal. How...how could she fix things?! She read articles and articles of bands breaking contracts or being signed to awful deals or being dropped - not a lot of them gave her hope.

She arranged to meet with Perry - somehow no one had the forethought to block Perry from her life, thank god. 

And a day later, there she was, sitting in LaFontaine and Perry’s (and Carmilla’s) apartment in Mississauga, sipping a cup of tea, with Perry’s _very_ intense gaze. It was strange to be in a place that had little glimpses of Carmilla scattered around. 

Laura didn’t know where to begin, so she just sat quietly, waiting for Perry to take the lead. Consequently they just stared at each other.

The clock was ticking, loudly, and Laura had enough.

“I’m sorry. It’s so bizarre to be talking to you in person, Perry,” Laura admitted. 

Perry nodded, taking a long sip from her tea cup. 

“I agree. It’s been an unfortunate situation,” she said. Her eyes softened. “Even LaFontaine doesn’t understand why you were let go. The others have been taking it out on Carmilla.”

Laura frowned. “Why?”

“She’s let them believe that you two had a falling out and that she asked Will to fire you.”

Laura sighed, rubbing her forehead.

“What should I do? How do I fix this?”

“I think,” said a voice from the doorway - Laura whipped around and saw Mattie standing at the entrance into the apartment, “that it’s not a matter of how _you_ will fix it, but how _we_ will.”

Mattie nodded at Perry, before closing the door and sitting with Laura. She poured herself a cup of tea, already looking comfortable in Perry’s apartment. 

What the hell?!

“What’s going on here?” Laura asked, her eyebrows shooting up.

Perry rolled her eyes. “Laura, _please_ , I’m fully committed to LaFontaine.” 

“Oh good, we haven’t gotten to the good part yet,” Mattie said, before pouring herself tea. “Gidget. We told her.”

Laura sputtered with disbelief. “What?!”

“I told Lilita that you were close to finding out what she was doing and we got you off the tour.”

“Why?”

“Because, we needed to stop her,” Mattie explained.

“And you didn’t think that my exposé would work?” Laura asked, incredulously. 

“Of course it wouldn’t,” Perry spoke up, taking Laura aback. “Laura, you’re tied up. You’ve signed too many NDAs, you’d be legally liable if you were to do anything on your own. You’d be destroyed professionally. Personally as well, given what you’ve discovered about Lilita Morgan and from what Mattie has told me. Plus, at that point it would've been your word against hers. She's a powerful woman; she could turn the truth into a lie. We couldn’t have that happen.”

“Not when you’d done such a _good job_. When Lola told me what you discovered - hell, you and that meek little assistant of yours found out even more than _I_ knew, and I’m that wretched woman’s daughter - I knew we had to get you as far away from them as possible.”

Laura felt her shoulders drop. They had a point.

“Laura, this wasn’t a coincidence. I liked your work at _The Society_ \- and I was planning on pitching to your magazine a partnership with Glittering Diamond Records anyway. When Maman stole Carmilla’s band from me and bullied them into the record deal, I knew I had to do something. So I reworked my pitch to your editor and got you to come on board.”

“So you headhunted me to take down one of the most powerful women in the world?”

Mattie laughed.

“I guess you can say that.”

“Why didn't _you_ just do it?”

“Frankly? I have too much to lose. I love Carmilla, but I’ve seen what my mother has done to her children if they’ve disobeyed her.” Mattie sighed. “For all of my bravado, I try not to get directly involved with Maman. I know better.”

“And you knew I’d care enough to do something?”

“When I found your blog, I liked that you were intense and pushy and you don’t know when to take ‘no’ for an answer. You care about the underdog. I knew that would work. What I _didn’t_ expect was for you to break my sister’s heart - which we’ll discuss at a later point.” That last part was added with a glare, and Laura couldn’t help but cower a little.

“So now what?” Laura asked, deflecting.

“We need to outsmart her,” Perry supplied. “Mattie and I have been trying to think of a way to do this, but we need your help too. You’ve done so much already and I know you probably don’t want to help -”

“-No, I do!” Laura eagerly sat up. “Anything.”

Mattie rubbed her hands together. “Okay. Lola, fix us another another pot of tea, please? Laura - let’s brainstorm.”

\---

More pictures of Carmilla and Laura found their way online. It was a punch in the gut, every time she saw them. And some of her asshole coworkers weren’t making it any easier - some of them printed them off and passed them around the office. 

_Assholes_. 

They were objectively beautiful photos. They made a beautiful couple and people wanted to see them. If she was on the other side, Laura wouldn’t have had any issue looking at the pictures. It was part of the nature of her job. 

But these were intimate, private moments that they had that people - staff at different venues, paparazzi, fans - had intruded on. The two of them holding hands backstage, hugging outside the tour bus. Going into the hotel, Laura’s head on Carmilla’s shoulder. Laughing with other band members.

She asked Mattie to relay a message for her. But all she could really say was that she was sorry. And that she should’ve told her sooner. And trusted her. Mattie even gave her a sad look of sympathy after and promised she would. 

Laura turned to her dad - he always had great advice. She told him as much as she could - that they had an argument, a disagreement that Laura could have prevented and they broke up. What he said was absolutely true - there were only so many times Laura could ask for forgiveness before it just became cruel for Carmilla to continue to ignore her. And that if things were _truly_ meant to be, they’d work it out.

But that offered little comfort.

That night, after brainstorming until midnight with Mattie and Perry, a rough plan in place that Laura had jokingly come up with, she tried again to contact Carmilla. But she was still blocked. 

\---

A few days later, Laura was startled by an aggressive knock on her apartment door. She convinced Betty to go out of town for the weekend and visit her family, so Laura was alone in her home. 

As planned.

She checked her bookshelf, fiddling with her copy of _Oryx & Crake_, then brushing her hand over _Girls Like Me_ on the next bookshelf. She flinched at the next loud pound on the door.

She opened it.

“Miss Hollis.”

Lilita Morgan stood there, with Will behind her.

“Mrs. Morgan,” Laura answered, affecting surprise in her voice. She had been expecting them. “What are you doing here?”

Lilita pushed past Laura, forcing her to step aside and enter her apartment. Laura rolled her eyes. Will sneered at her - it was almost familiar and welcomed. Laura glared back.

“I have a proposal for you,” Lilita said, clearly disgusted by how Laura lived. She snapped her fingers and Will immediately handed her a briefcase. Lilita propped it open on Laura’s coffee table, pulling out a stack of paper. “Another NDA; I’m sure you’ve gotten used to signing these at this point There are three terms: You, Miss Hollis, can _never_ report about my businesses, my shareholders, my benefactors, in any capacity, ever again. You can never speak to or speak of Non! Anon ever again. And you must stay away from Mircalla. Don’t contact her, don’t find her, don’t even _think_ about her. If you sign this, I’ll make you a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” 

“Laura, you seem like a reasonable girl - you just got mixed up with my confused, ungrateful daughter. She led you to believe that I’m some sort of horrible mother, when all I’ve done is take care of her. And now, I’d like to take care of you,” Lilita said, booping her finger on Laura’s nose. It made her cringe. “Where would you like to work? CNN? Toronto Star? National Post? New York Times? I have friends who owe me favours. Say the word and I’ll get you a job anywhere you like. Sign this and you will be taken care of. And in good faith, I’ll even sweeten the deal.”

She took a cheque out of her pocket. Laura balked at the amount written in Lilita’s perfect handwriting.

Laura took a deep breath and thought of all the things she could do with a new career and the substantial amount of money. She could work for the _National Post_. She could take care of her father. 

She looked back at her bookcase and closed her eyes. She pictured Carmilla’s face.

She thought of the life that Carmilla deserved.

_“No.”_

Lilita laughed. “What?”

“Are you an idiot?” Will asked. Lilita held up a finger, telling him to stop. 

“No. No deal. I’m not signing anything; you’re not buying my silence, my integrity. You’re not keeping me away from Carmilla either.”

She laughed again. “I am all these children have. They are _mine_. This _band_ will lose _everything_. And _more_. If you cared about them, you’d stay away from them.” She took a step forward, imposing her height on Laura. “And do you _really_ think Mircalla could love _you_? The second you knew _anything_ about her past, you were willing to spill her secrets like an idiot schoolchild. You are a cockroach, a _journalist_. And my daughter? She is my glittering girl. A diamond. And stone cannot love flesh.”

“Fuck _you_.”

“You’re feisty. I would’ve found you _delightful_ in another life,” she teased.

Laura took the cheque from Lilita’s hands and tore it up. Lilita looked less humoured. She waved her hand at Will, gesturing for him to shut her briefcase.

“Do you _really_ think that not signing this will give you the freedom to do what you want? This was a courtesy, if anything. I still control you.”

“Why are you even like this?” Laura asked. “You don’t care about these people. You don’t care about Carmilla!”

“Business, my dear. You see, I never found Mircalla - _Carmilla -_ to be terribly useful. She was always disposable, never much for self-preservation. Gay - therefore useless. All she did was brood around. When she left, it worked for me. Pretending she died, removing her from every aspect of my professional persona was easy - it helped, even. That is, until Mattie here let it slip that she had discovered Carmilla had this excellent, well… ‘talent’ - at least, that’s according the the money she’s made me - and signed her to her little record label. I knew I had to use this.

“I’ve made more in connections and money through this little band in this short amount of time than any business venture I’ve made. You have no idea how easy it is to convince some idiot politician or CEO to invest in my company or pass a law in my favor when I can promise them a private show from the number one band in the world, if I can get this band to be their spokespeople, if I can get them to sing their silly jingle.”

“You’re working them to death,” Laura argued.

“Yes, well. If Carmilla wasn’t such a disappointment, I’d care more. Maybe I wouldn’t have to punish her this way. But it _could_ get worse. Don’t make it worse for them.”

“I refuse to sign anything, Lilita. Now leave. Or I will call the police.”

Lilita smiled before turning towards the door. Will reached the doorknob and yanked it open.

“Just - one thing, Miss Hollis,” Lilita said. “I am a powerful woman. I promise you: you’ll never work again.”

\---

The next day it was announced that Silas Industries bought _The Society_ ’s publishing company and several other major publications in Toronto. 

Later that day, Laura was fired.

But later that night, Laura rewatched the footage of Lilita in her living room, the footage she had taken from the camera she hid on her bookshelf, wedged against her copy of _Oryx & Crake_. She watched the secondary footage she filmed, from the camera next to her copy of _Girls Like Us_. 

She watched Lilita bribe her, talk about Carmilla, about Non! Anon, about her business partners, about the record contract.

She watched Lilita, _so_ proudly underestimate Laura.

And she started working. 

\---

@TheSocietyMag: Read about #NonAnonOnTour - ‘Parties, Fun and Rock & Roll: On The Road with Non! Anon!’ By @TheoTheSociety at www.thesocietymag.com 

\---

Laura was breaking several rules - from her severance agreement at work, to all the NDAs she was ultimately forced to sign.

But whatever. Fuck it. She didn’t care.

Non! Anon were playing their final show in Toronto for the tour and Laura Hollis was going to sneak backstage.

She got a last minute ticket from StubHub and stayed near the back, keeping her hoodie up and her hat on underneath. She knew some people must’ve recognized her, but she always left and hid as soon as it seemed as though someone was going to say something or approach her. 

Like coming up for air again, seeing Carmilla in person and on stage made her heart race. 

God, she missed her. 

There was a fair amount of fatigue showing in the performance, but it didn’t stop them from putting on a good show for their hometown crowd. LaFontaine, Danny, and Kirsch barely held back the tears as they waved to their family from the stage. They were home, and Laura could feel the waves of relief coming off the band. They were home, with their loved ones.

For a few days, of course. Then they were off, for their newly announced European tour, which was going to start almost immediately.

They started the final song of their encore, _Need You Tonight_ , which they announced as their next single, out in two weeks, and Laura got hit by deja vu. Last time she listened to this song - really listened to it - she was in Chicago, falling in love.

Now she was about to ambush said object of her affection.

But it was for good reason.

She left as Carmilla started her solo. Leaving the venue and sneaking into the back entrance, it wasn’t as hard as she thought it was going to be to get backstage. Having worked on the tour, she knew the cracks in security - she knew that Will didn’t care too much for it. She was mindful to keep an eye out for him, but being the man of routine, he was probably sucking up to special guests or making illicit deals.

She walked to where she figured their dressing room would be - fortunately she’d been to this venue before when she’d done interviews for _The Society_ \- and waited. She listened for the final beat of Kirsch’s drum. LaFontaine’s booming “THANK YOU!” And the final cheer from the crowd. 

Her knee started bouncing, a symptom of her anxiety. 

She had rehearsed this moment for the last few days, and she wanted to get it right. She was going to apologize. She was going to tell her about what she, Mattie and Perry had planned. She was going to show her the video of Lilita.

A few seconds later - which felt like ages - in walked Carmilla, by herself.

She looked startled, almost dropping the towel she’d been wiping the sweat off her forehead with. She held her free hand to her chest.

“What the hell, Laura?” she said, with so much bite. “What are you doing here?”

“I love you.”

Okay.

Well, that wasn’t exactly what she planned on saying. But seeing Carmilla for the first time up close in over a week - she should’ve known she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself.

“What?” Carmilla shook her head. 

“I’m sorry.”

_“What?”_

“I mean I love you, but I’m also sorry.” Laura pressed on, trying to cling to her sinking verbal ship. She should’ve stuck to her script, but whatever. Too late now. “I fell for you. I’ve _fallen_ for you. But I couldn’t make that my priority when I should have. And I should’ve made helping you more of a priority. I didn’t know _what_ I was doing but then I figured it out.”

“Laura…” Carmilla moved closer and sat on the couch, indicating for Laura to sit as well.

“Mattie and Perry have been helping me,” Laura continued, sitting. “For a while, actually, but _really_ helping me since I got back. And your mom! She tried to pay me out! And I didn’t accept it and she got me fired,” (Carmilla tried to interrupt - “She get you fired?!” she asked angrily, but Laura ignored her), "but I still think I can stop her. I think _we_ can stop her, but I want you to see it first.”

Carmilla hunched over and braced her arms on her knees. She rubbed her forehead. “See what?” she asked, clearly trying to process.

Yeah, Laura could sympathize. It was a lot to deal with at once.

“I confronted your mother. I called her out, I stood up for you, and I got her to admit to _terrible_ things, illegal things and abusive things, and I filmed it all. Your mom admitted to using you and that she was doing all these terrible things to you guys to punish you and to take advantage of you guys.”

“What the fuck?” LaFontaine said from the entrance, Kirsch and Danny behind them.

Carmilla and Laura looked up - Carmilla looked terrified. Laura felt the same.

This wasn’t part of the plan, they weren’t supposed to find out yet.

“Someone explain,” Danny demanded. Kirsch closed the door, locking it behind him. 

Carmilla looked lost for a minute, then LaFontaine, with their calming energy, sat next to Carmilla.

“Carmilla, _please_. What did Laura say about your _mother_ taking advantage of us?”

Carmilla sighed, the assumed the position she was in before. She hunched over in her seat, defeated. And she talked. 

She explained who she was, who her mother was, and how they got the record deal. She explained the terms of their contract, their obligations. She explained her side - that she didn’t know it would be like this, but they were threatened and she didn’t know what to do. 

Laura was about to step in to explain her exposé when LaFontaine interrupted. 

“We didn’t earn any of this,” LaFontaine said. The disillusionment showed in their face and Laura couldn’t blame them. “We aren’t people to them - we’re a product. You let us become a product.”

To her surprise, Danny teared up. “We’re trapped. We’re puppets. We can’t see our family or our friends. No wonder you’ve been fine; you’ve been surrounded by your family this entire time.” 

“And you could’ve stopped this,” Kirsch added.  

“I did this for _you guys!_ ” Carmilla cried. 

“We’re _miserable_.” Kirsch stood up. “I have to get out of here. I have to go.”

“I’m going with you. Fuck you, Carmilla,” Danny spat out. 

LaFontaine looked sadly at Carmilla and at Laura. They sighed.

“You did the best you could with what you had. You did what you thought was right,” LaFontaine started. Carmilla tried to agree, to defend herself, but LaF stopped her. “But you fucked us over. And I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“LaFontaine, wait,” Laura started, standing up and trying to stop them. LaFontaine ignored her, leaving the room and slamming the door.

Laura turned around and saw Carmilla, still in the same hunched position. Her eyes were red; she looked shattered. 

Carmilla spoke, not looking at Laura. “I think you might’ve broken up my band.”

“Carm-”

“No. Don’t,” she said. Laura nodded, not wanting to upset her further. “Just go. I can’t be around you.”

Laura grabbed a USB stick from her pocket. “Just watch this. Watch this and read the article, and let me know what you think.”

Then Laura left.

\---

A few hours later in the middle of the night, getting up after failing to sleep, Laura saw voicemail from a blocked number.

“Post it,” Carmilla’s voice said in the message. “I hope you know what you’re doing. I hope this works.”

\---

http://laura2theletter.tumblr.com

It’s been 24 hours since I posted the video, and again, I have to reiterate: None of it was doctored. 

I’ve taken it down, but I’m sure you’ll all be able to find it posted in other places. This is now a legal matter with my lawyer, Non! Anon’s new legal team and Silas Industries. And now I’m hearing more businesses are getting involved, with more allegations against Lilita Morgan.

I can’t talk about that anymore.

But I can talk about Non! Anon.

I know them. I know how hard they work and how much they care about music and each other and the people who’ve supported them. I know they wouldn’t have agreed to this if they weren’t forced to. I know they would’ve never have supported Silas Industries or Lilita Morgan. 

Carmilla forced herself back into this cycle of abuse from her mother because she thought she was doing the right thing for her friends. This says a lot about her. It also says a lot about the record industry. I hope things change for the better for them. 

I wish them the best.

-Laura Hollis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [here](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com/) if you have any questions. And as you can see, I've increased chapter count - we're now looking at 15 chapters and an epilogue! *high five*


	14. Vancouver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a few days! Crazy, right? Just make sure you read the previous one before this one, of course. :)  
> Songs are [Fixed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91x52SFgyNk) and [The Shade](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z69_ecUsea8). The place they play is not real and named after a place in my city.

Several months later, Laura was shaking off her umbrella and entering her new apartment - a tiny, one bedroom postage stamp of a living space. Her own place. It was small but reminded her of life on the road, which gave her some comfort. Her life right now was completely different from what it was a few months earlier so she clung to what she could.

The fallout from the Non! Anon exposé that Laura posted on her blog reverberated around the music industry. While it wasn’t uncommon, the severity of what happened to Non! Anon made people take note. Musicians, bands, songwriters shared their own stories of being overworked, taken advantage of, and robbed musically. Most offered their support of the band.

Laura herself gained some notoriety - for better or for worse. Most major news outlets wanted to talk to her about her blog, about her hidden camera footage, about her accomplices, but Laura wasn’t interested in sharing that. She hadn’t done it to be famous - she did it to fix the wrong she had done. 

There had been doubters though - and there still were. But with Lola Perry at Laura’s legal defense and Matska Belmonde willing to support her publicly, it didn’t take long for public favour to turn on Silas Industries and Lilita Morgan.

Laura was offered jobs by a few newspapers and she now lived in Vancouver. It didn’t feel permanent, but it was a welcomed change. Coincidentally, she just finished working on an article regarding the corruption allegations between the B.C. government and Silas Industries. There was a fair amount of satisfaction as she wrote about the fines and the potential prison time that Lilita Morgan was facing from the _numerous_ allegations against her. 

After her blog came out, more people - from people who were cheated out of deals to people whose careers were destroyed by Silas Industries’ cutthroat business practices - came out of the woodwork to expose Lilita. All the legal backbone in the world couldn’t defend her from the storm that hit her.

And while the Silas Industries empire was being dismantled, Non! Anon somehow managed to survive.

Kind of.

They announced they had fired their manager - Will was facing his own legal troubles with his involvement with Silas - and due to the nature of how they were able to obtain their record deal, they were able to argue that they signed the deal under duress (again, thanks to Lola Perry’s incredible skills as a lawyer), thus releasing them from their contract. 

They were currently on hiatus - which Laura hoped was true and not actually just code for ‘broken-up’. 

Laura had heard a little bit from LaFontaine since all this went down, because of Laura’s closeness to Perry. There were no hard feelings - confusion at first but after seeing the video and reading Laura’s full article, LaFontaine and the others expressed a lot of gratitude for everything that she did. They understood that she saved the band from years of misery. 

As for Carmilla? Well, she hadn’t heard from her, other than through LaFontaine, who didn’t offer much. They were Carmilla’s friend first, they couldn’t betray Carmilla and she understood that. 

But even after all these months, Laura missed her.

With the news of Non! Anon leaving Glittering Diamond Records, _Need You Tonight_ was scrapped. The music video leaked onto the internet anyway and Laura became a minor celebrity again by Non! Anon’s fans. Again, more theories came up about Laura’s involvement with Carmilla, the eventual dismantling of their record deal and the unravelling of Lilita Morgan’s empire, but Laura knew better to not them any attention. (Some of them were pretty accurate though.)

Plus, those theories were easy to ignore when she was being constantly hounded by rumours about her and Carmilla. Despite not seeing her for months, the interest in the two never waned.

The questions over her relationship with Carmilla were nonstop and that hurt _so badly._

Laura tried to move on. She was in a new city, meeting new, likeminded people. But it was hard to date when there was no closure in her last relationship. She was still in love. And it ended _so_ badly.

She even almost contacted her, once. She found herself on Twitter a few times, going on Carmilla’s profile to see if she was still blocked. Then, one day, at some point between releasing whole exposé and the fall out, she was unblocked. From Carmilla’s and the rest of the band’s.

But...she couldn’t. She couldn’t find the words. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing, as she almost always did with Carmilla.

So she didn’t.

It was big reason for why she left Toronto. She needed to get away from the scene, from the usual people, from the people who knew what happened or had a connection to what happened, or even more frequently, people who claimed to know what was happening. For a big city, it was a small world. Suffocating, almost.

And now, in Vancouver, she was a least finally in a more respected field - working on sharing actual _news_ , at an actual _newspaper_ , getting the job based on her instincts and her skills. She was starting to be able to confidently refer to herself as a _journalist_. She wrote legitimate news that people discussed and learned from.

This was everything she thought she wanted. 

Keyword being ‘thought.’

More than ever, she was lonely. She was back to a new routine that was all too similar to her old one. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep. The biggest difference was that since knowing Carmilla and losing Carmilla, it was like life faded to black and white. 

Now, she wasn’t exactly basing her life’s enrichment on another person, but she hadn’t yet gotten over Carmilla. Being heartbroken was like having a damper on every sound, a filter over ever sight. Nothing felt right. And at this point, Laura didn’t necessarily want to get back with Carmilla (so she tried telling herself), she just wanted closure. 

But until then, she focused on work, as she always did.

Until then, she settled on making the absolute best out of her routine.

\---

And a month after her move to Vancouver, just when Laura thought she was getting closer to finally being over _her_ , another anvil dropped. New music by Non! Anon found its way online. 

They recently got signed to a new, respected indie label. They hired a new manager - someone named Mel Callis, who was a hugely successful musician in her own right, currently taking a break to focus on the business side of the music industry. She wanted to protect Non! Anon and let them create the music the band wanted to create. 

Laura could see it would be a good partnership.

This time, with the tools in place for them to succeed, they flourished. The first song was posted on their new website to great anticipation. It had the same vibe and energy of their covers - it was a throw to old pop music from the 80s and 90s, clearly LaFontaine’s influence.

But the lyrics? 

Laura knew right away they were Carmilla’s. 

She didn’t want to be so arrogant, thinking it was about her, but she couldn’t help herself. Not after hearing Carmilla sing, _“You, you hold my heart. You won't let up. After I am caught, touch turns into fisticuffs. It's all in your head, wonder if I'm fixed to cut.”_

It took a few days for her to recover from that one. 

Even weeks later, the buzz continued. After the twentieth message on Tumblr about it - in a day - she decided to unplug. She didn’t want to get swept up in it again. She’d gotten better, was becoming more of _herself_ again. She was almost able to flirt back with someone - not a woman she was seriously interested in, but for the first time in ages, she didn’t feel horrible at the prospect of dating someone new. 

So Laura finally cut ties and switched to a new Vancouver phone number -  deleting all her contacts (except for her dad, of course) and deactivating all her social media accounts.

It was the only way she could restore any kind of semblance back in her life.

It was a solid idea until she realized that the only people who actually texted her were her coworkers and her dad. Kind of sad, really; it only served to depress her even more.

\---

It’d been silence from Non! Anon in almost two months, and things had _finally_ faded. Laura was able to reactivate her Twitter and her Tumblr. She could post a blog and not be inundated with questions from Non! Anon fans. 

She’d been invited out on a few dates and she’d gone on a couple. Again, she was getting back to being an expert at the first date; no one really stuck around past that. When she _knew_ she _knew_. If no one made her feel like Carmilla had, what was the point?

Laura was also reestablishing a social life in a new city. While it was taking her a while, she’d begun making friends - people from work, from her yoga class, and a few people she’d known from her days in university.

Which led her to tonight.

She’d been invited by a few coworkers to go to some open mic. She’d gone to her fair share while working at _The Society_ , and historically, knew to set her expectations for new talent _low_ , but there were only so many times she could turn them down before she got a reputation for being a snob. Plus, the venue was a coffee house near her apartment - walking distance. She could escape easily whenever she wanted her to.

When she’d arrived - greeted by the Arts & Life writers at the paper and a newly opened bottle of craft beer for her - she settled in. She made pleasantries, trying to be as enthusiastic as much as she could. 

The first performer went up - a trainwreck of a dudebro, who was like so many other male artists out there (vaguely talented in an unremarkable way but also handsome enough in a harmless way, that Laura could see him getting somewhat popular locally) and she was able to drown him out. She scanned the room, who were giving the performer a mixed reaction, when she caught a familiar head of wavy hair.

_Wait_ …

She sat up a little taller and leaned to the side, to get a better look, when the dudebro finished his song. The applause from the crowd - mixed, again - caused Laura to look sight of who she was looking for.

It was probably no one.

When everyone settled back down and the next artist went up - a singer/songwriter type - and she was able to get a better look, the person was gone.

She took another swig of her drink and shook her head at herself. She needed to move past this, and imagining seeing Carmilla places was _not_ helping.

A few more amateur performers and a couple more drinks in her later, she started to relax and forget about her minor mirage problem from before.

Then the host came on stage.

“Let’s give a round of applause to everyone who’s come up on stage tonight!” She paused, letting everyone clap politely. “Well, tonight, I have an _incredibly_ special surprise guest. I’d like to bring up two people who have frequented Higher Ground for the last few weeks: Carmilla Karnstein and LaFontaine from Non! Anon!”

The reaction in the room was almost crazy. The crowd fell to their feet with raucous applause as the two bashfully came up on stage. 

And Laura gasped. She felt the eyes of her coworkers go back and forth between the stage and Laura. She knew they knew about her role in Non! Anon’s controversy; it's what got her the job. But they'd also heard the rumours; she’d definitely noticed people whispering about her, though no one had really tried to broach the subject with her.

But she didn’t care. Not when she felt like she’d been simultaneously sucker punched and revived. 

Seeing Carmilla for the first time in months was like being able to breathe again. Seeing Carmilla and LaFontaine’s smiles - _genuine_ smiles - made the weight that had settled on her shoulders disappear a little.

If this was all the closure she’d get, she was okay with it. If Carmilla was happy, _she_ could be happy. 

With the instruments they brought up on stage, they settled on the stools. Carmilla was on an acoustic bass, LaFontaine on guitar. And they sang. They _both_ sang.

They played the song they’d previously released - and hearing it in real life felt like a vice on her heart - then went to introduce the next song.

“Thanks everyone,” Carmilla said, giving the crowd a nod. “It’s our first time in over a year being on a stage, playing songs that we’d written and we’re really glad it’s like this.”

“Yeah,” LaFontaine agreed. “There’s a lot less pressure playing in front of all you instead of what ended up being Carmilla’s scary mom everywhere we went.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Ba-dum tssssh.” Everyone laughed, including Laura. “Alright, alright, now that we’ve acknowledged that fucking mess, let’s move on. We’ll play another song if that’s alright with all of you?”

The crowd applauded. 

“Great! This next song is about a girl, right Carmilla?” LaFontaine asked. “You know, _the_ girl.”

The audience laughed - her coworkers cautiously laughing, giving Laura unsure looks (she appreciated their support, but she was _fine)._ Laura felt a blush creep up her cheeks as Carmilla replied, “Whatever, LaF, just play your instrument.”

“No, no, set up the song for everyone, Carmilla. This is an intimate venue, we have to treat every song like it’s a songwriters circle at some folk music festival.”

Carmilla playfully glared (earning a laugh from the crowd) but acquiesced. 

“It’s basically the opposite of _Fixed_ , which I wrote when I was kind of pissed at _her_ ,” Carmilla revealed. Again, Laura felt the eyes of her coworkers bore into her. She stared straight ahead, ignoring them, feeling her face flush. “I wrote it with the idea that maybe if I got every cheesy, idealistic thought, maybe it would be cathartic enough to help me move on.”

“It didn’t work though,” LaFontaine revealed for Carmilla, who, again, just rolled her eyes. Laura was certain other people could hear her thundering heart beat. “But we got a good song out of it, so I’d call it a win. _One, two, three!_ ”

Then they played. And Carmilla sang. 

_“I'm following the sun that's setting in the west, we’re floating on a bed of fading lights. A canopy of trees bears witness to the breeze. I'm falling like a feather, soft and light.”_

While LaFontaine sang the bridge, Laura watched Carmilla’s eyes squint and scan the crowd. She knew she couldn’t see much from the stage - the lights usually made it difficult to see beyond the front row, at best. But it was a smaller room, less than a hundred people, and she knew Carmilla saw her when her eyes widened and she stumbled on the bassline. LaFontaine noticed, looking over at her with a little bit of surprise - but Carmilla recovered.

And Carmilla smiled at Laura.

And Laura smiled back. Fully and completely, not the approximations of smiles she’d been giving for the past few months. She smiled and felt it grow as Carmilla held her gaze and sang, _“A blade of grass, a grain of sand, the moonlit sea, to hold your hand. I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, I want it all.”_

Laura might've held her breath until the end of the song.

The crowd fell to their feet as they finished, a well-deserved standing ovation.

“Shout-out to our new manager, Mel Callis, who’s helped us fall in love with music again,” LaFontaine said, after taking off their guitar and thanking everyone for coming.

“And to Laura,” Carmilla said, eyes searching again to find her. When she did, Laura felt the eyes of everyone in the room. “Thank you for saving us.”

\---

Laura abruptly left her table - and her bewildered coworkers - in search of Carmilla and LaFontaine, as soon as they left the stage. She pushed her way to the back - if there was security, no one said anything as she entered the door to the _very_ small green room. All of the performers had already left, so when she entered, there stood LaFontaine, who was clearly excited to see her. 

“Laura Hollis!” LaFontaine yelled, throwing their arms around her. “Holy crap, what are you doing here?!” 

“I _live_ here! What are _you_ doing here?!”

“We live here now too! Well, just me and Carmilla - for the next few months, while we write and record,” they explained. “You never told me you moved, what the hell - I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for forever and you disappeared off Facebook and your phone number didn't-”

_“-Laura.”_

Laura whipped her head around and there Carmilla stood, stepping out of what looked like the washroom. Again, Laura felt her heart beat out of its chest and she was sure Carmilla and LaF could hear it too. She took two embarrassingly long strides towards Carmilla and threw her arms around her. 

She couldn't help herself.

“Hey,” Laura said, speaking into Carmilla’s hair.

“Hey.” Carmilla’s arms tightened around her. 

LaFontaine cleared their throat. 

“Uh, yeah, the third wheel in the room was _also_ excited to see you, Laur.” 

She pulled away, bashfully, Carmilla’s expression matching her own.

It was just so good to see her.

She missed her so fucking much.

Carmilla smiled at her - one of her small smirks that mostly came from her eyes - and Laura realized she had been kidding herself. 

She could never get over this woman.

“It’s good to see you, cupcake,” Carmilla whispered.  

“Okay, explain to me what you’re doing here!” Laura said, taking a seat, pulling Carmilla onto the couch with her. By reflex - muscle memory almost - she reached for Carmilla’s hand; but she pulled back.

She didn’t have any right to do that. It was just worth it to be in the room with her. She would take what she could get.

She couldn’t believe she was _here_.

LaFontaine explained that they were on hiatus to recover from the tour. Mattie helped them find their new label, even haggling a good deal for them, even though it wouldn’t even benefit her. They said Mattie wanted to do what she’d always wanted to do for them before her Maman stepped in.

They were still poor because they still had to pay out part of their contract with Glittering Diamond Records, so they decided to just focus on writing and working on making great music.

“Mel, our new manager, got us in on a sweet deal - we’ve been set-up with an apartment, and all we need to do is write and make demos,” LaFontaine explained. “Carmilla and I have been here for a couple weeks and Kirsch and Danny are coming as soon as we’re ready record. We’ve just been making music all day - it’s like the old days.”

Laura was relieved. She grinned and really took in both of their relaxed expressions. They both looked so...happy. She noticed it on stage, but she could really feel it so clearly, sitting there with them.

“That’s incredible,” Laura said. “I’m _so_ happy it worked out for you guys. You _really_ deserve it.”

“You always said we deserved good things, Laura,” Carmilla spoke up, for the first time since she sat down. “It took someone like you to believe in us before it actually happened.”

Laura disagreed and waved her hand, dismissively. “I wish it was that simple. I screwed up a lot along the way. I’m still _so_ sorry for how it all came to pass,” she apologized, grabbing both LaFontaine and Carmilla’s hands and squeezing them. 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” LaFontaine argued. “You did what you thought was best. You made mistakes, but we all did. And you helped us get out of it in the end. You, Mattie, Per - you guys took down a mega conglomerate!”

LaFontaine squeezed her hand back before letting go; Carmilla intertwined their fingers.

“Laura, I wasn’t joking. You _saved_ us. You saved _me._ ”

And again, looking into Carmilla’s eyes, her expression so earnest, so genuine, her breath hitched. She bit her lip to keep from smiling too broadly at Carmilla. 

“You saved me too in a lot of ways, Carm,” Laura admitted.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught LaFontaine’s eyes dart between the two women, smiling and looking a little mischievous. They cleared their throat, which caused Carmilla to break their stare. 

“Hey, so Carmilla and I have to get out of here, ‘cause we have crazy-early studio time tomorrow morning, but maybe you two should catch up or something? After?” LaFontaine pitched, like a perfect wing-person.

Carmilla looked expectantly at Laura, as if to ask if that was alright.

“That’s a great idea. We should talk, Carm,” Laura agreed, blushing as Carmilla’s smile grew wider.

“I think I’d like that very much,” Carmilla said quietly. 

“We can be done at 6,” LaFontaine interjected. “I can make sure Carmilla’s done and in a suitable state of dress and stench to see you by 7?”

Carmilla pushed LaF, which only made their grin grow. 

“We can meet back here,” Laura offered. 

Carmilla smiled.

“She’ll be here,” LaFontaine answered for her.

Laura helped them both pack up their things, LaFontaine asking a million questions and Laura catching them up on what she’d been up to. She explained that she worked in Vancouver now for a few months and that she’d deleted her social media after things got, “a little too intense.” Carmilla shot her an apologetic grimace at that. 

Finally, after gathering the last of their gear and guitars, the three walked back into the nearly empty coffee shop. There were a few leftover admirers who stopped LaFontaine and Carmilla. They were different from the crowd Laura got used to - the coffee shop audience was a little older than the ones they had amassed when they were on tour - but the two still excitedly and graciously posed for pictures when asked. 

Laura got some deja vu, watching them with their fans. It was like she was back on the road - but with a lot less stress weighing her down.

It was a nice feeling. 

Finally, after the last photo was taken, the three left the building. LaFontaine was able to hail a cab and Laura helped them load their stuff. LaFontaine pulled her into a hug.

“So good to see you again, Hollis. Don’t be a stranger. After you and Carmilla, ahem, _whatever_ tomorrow,” they said, clearing their throat, “you and I are catching up. Perry will be excited to hear from you too!”

“Sounds good, LaFontaine,” Laura said. She grimaced, then added, “Tell Perry I’m sorry for just...dropping off the face of the planet.”

They shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I get it, I’m sure she will. It was a messed up time for all of us.”

Carmilla nudged them, coyly, moving them aside to hug Laura.

“Tomorrow, then?” Laura asked, sighing into Carmilla’s embrace. She missed her too much. 

Carmilla’s smile was wistful as she pulled away. “I’ll be here tomorrow at seven, creampuff.”

And in a moment of boldness, Laura pressed her lips to Carmilla’s cheek.

One last wink, and Carmilla slipped in the cab next to LaF, both of them waving as it pulled away.

Laura stayed at the curb for far too long, watching the car drive down the street. She smiled to herself, finally feeling excited for her future, and made her way back to her apartment.

\---

@NonLaFNon: Who knew our impromptu performance would get this much attention?! We’ll try to do it again sometime. #VancouverIsAwesome

@CarmillaAnon: Thanks everyone for making our first performance in a while so great. We’ll get @KirschNonAnon @DannyLawrence on stage with us soon too.

@CarmillaAnon: Also nice to see a familiar face in the crowd. Best surprise.

@LauraHollis: @NonLaFNon @CarmillaAnon SO GOOD seeing you both again. <3 (It’s me! Laura! I changed my Twitter handle...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is _finally_ wrapping up. Thanks for the love. I'm [on Tumblr](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com/), if anyone wants to talk, and [my beta](http://platypiandi.tumblr.com/) is on Tumblr too. She deserves so much praise. (My wife also helps beta, she deserves praise too, but she's not on Tumblr.)


	15. Home

Laura couldn’t help it. As Carmilla walked up, she felt her face break out into the biggest grin she’d had in _months_. She took in Carmilla’s face and she stared at her unabashedly, the way she always wanted to since the first day they met.

It was the next day, 7 pm on the dot, and in a strange turn of events, it wasn’t raining in Vancouver for once. Like the clouds parted just for them.

Okay, Laura was being really corny, but she had every right to be, with how Carmilla looked.

Carmilla was as beautiful as ever, the same smirk that always graced her face when she looked at her. But she also looked more comfortable in her own skin. The usual air of mystery still surrounded her, but there was more confidence there and less of Carmilla’s usual...hostility. And again, she looked happy. Laura couldn’t say it enough, because she was so _beautiful_ when she was happy.

It kind of made her heart race.

And Laura didn’t even notice until she saw the blush rise up Carmilla’s cheeks, colouring her skin, but Carmilla was staring back.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

And just like that, it’d been like two old friends catching up.

They talked over a few too many cups of hot cocoa and coffee. Carmilla filled Laura in on more details about the band (Kirsch and Danny were happy to have heard that they’d run into Laura) and her mother (who was still in a messy legal battle with several companies and had not once tried to get a hold of her). Laura filled in more gaps about her life (mostly routine things about Vancouver and how her dad was, which, Laura noted, Carmilla seemed really interested in, despite the less-exciting subject matter).

“I'm glad you're doing well now, Laura. I read some of your work today when we had breaks; you're an amazing writer. Your latest profile on the nurses who monitor safe-injection sites downtown? It was...profound and moving and not sensationalised or opportunistic. You gave so many people a voice and so many others a new perspective. You're incredible at what you do,” Carmilla gushed. She propped her head up on her hand, elbow on the table, looking too adorable - and dare Laura say - smitten. Laura blushed under her gaze. “I knew you were smart, but reading your work and seeing how you've been doing...I'm proud of you. This is what you've always wanted, right?”

Her smile faltered a little, as she answered, “I...I guess it is.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? Isn't this your dream? You’re a proper journalist, sharing hard-hitting news? Giving people a voice?”

Laura thought about it, then came to a not-at-all surprising realization.

Yes, she wanted to make a difference in what she did as a journalist, and yes, she wanted to share people’s stories and the truth. But also?

Maybe her dream included Carmilla.

She gulped, then tried to play it off with a shrug.

“I just feel like something's missing, I guess.”

Something changed in Carmilla’s expression. She half-smiled thoughtfully, then nodded. “I get it.”

They continued to tiptoe around talking about their past relationship. Laura knew there was a great deal of subtext in everything Carmilla was saying and doing. From her attentiveness - little things like making sure that Laura’s drink was full - to her flirtation - the compliments, the teasing and the smirks - Laura knew all this was just typical of how Carmilla always behaved, but...

But more needed to be said. Laura felt like she had a million apologies she still needed to give and was sure Carmilla had a million more things to say to her.

But like classic Hollis, she choked. Despite being a _journalist_ , open communication in her personal life was never really her strong point.

As they approached 9 pm, Laura looked around. The coffee shop was becoming more and more crowded for a Sunday night, and she noticed that the lights were dimmed. Laura looked at the stage and saw people setting up.

“Tonight is slam poetry night,” Carmilla explained, pointing at a flyer near the cash register. “Should we...leave?”

More people came in, pushing Laura’s chair closer to Carmilla’s. She enjoyed hearing Carmilla’s breath hitch a little at their proximity; she couldn't help her gaze as they darted down her face to Carmilla’s lips. Laura could've sworn that Carmilla’s eyes did the same.

But then she looked around at the coffee shop and suddenly realized that there were too many people around and she didn't want the night to end.

She was selfish. She wanted Carmilla to herself.  

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Laura asked, finally finding her voice.

Carmilla’s eyebrows shot up.

“To talk!” Laura clarified, blushing. “We still have a lot of catching up to do, and we can't really talk while people are being all _cool_ and _earnest_ with their slam poetry, and it's crazy crowded in here anyway, and you haven't told me about Danny’s latest conquest or _conquests_ and I haven’t told you yet about my dad’s new vegetable garden...and my place is nearby.”

“Oh, yeah,” Carmilla agreed, eyebrows raised and chuckling, Laura’s monologue seemingly making her realize that they were in public. “Yeah. Let’s...talk more.”

Laura stood and grabbed her arm, apologizing to the cluster of people who had gathered around them and pushing past with an _“Excuse me, thank you!”_ , leading Carmilla out the door.

“I’m just this way - about ten minutes,” Laura said, taking Carmilla’s arm once again when they stepped outside. She led them down the block in the direction of her apartment.

They walked in silence for a block before Carmilla cleared her throat.

“So cards on the table: I missed you,” Carmilla said, following Laura’s lead, squeezing her arm a little tighter to her body, keeping Laura’s hand in place.

Laura breath hitched, not really believing what she heard. “Seriously? I’m honestly just shocked you don’t hate me.” She was surprised to see Carmilla’s incredulous expression. “I mean, I heard the song...”

Carmilla looked admonished. “Oh, god. I’m sorry about that. I mean, I was pissed-”

“-Understandably.”

“No - I should apologize to you for that; I wrote when I was in a bad place. I didn't mean most of it, not really, but either way, you didn’t sign up for all the attention and I’m just sorry it got out of hand,” she said, and with a shy glance at Laura, she added, “You got to hear the other song last night… _That_ song is probably more accurate about how I feel.”

Laura smiled, bashfully.

“I _preferred_ that song, sure.” She took a deep breath, then admitted, “I missed you too; I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about you for the last few months.”

Carmilla laughed, a little bitterly. “I know for a fact that I haven’t, Laura.”

Laura slipped her hand down, intertwining their fingers. “Well now we don’t need to _think_ about each other...because we can...be around each other?” Laura said, awkwardly. She looked over at Carmilla, who laughed.

“Cupcake, I don’t know how I ever survived the last few months without you.”

Laura blushed, nudging her shoulder into Carmilla and laughing.

This was easy. She missed this.

They walked, Laura pointing out random things around her neighbourhood as they neared her apartment building. It was almost surreal; after months of not hearing from her, not seeing her, _here she was_ , holding her hand, having a conversation that wasn’t rife with tension, as if the distance and time healed everything. As if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And maybe it was.

“I’m still kind of in shock,” Carmilla said. “Of all the people I expected to see last night, you weren’t on the list.”

“And to think, I almost didn’t go,” Laura admitted.

“One might call it destiny - if one believed in that sort of thing.” Carmilla grinned.

“One might,” Laura answered coyly. They reached her apartment. “This is me.”

Carmilla looked up at the building. She closed her eyes briefly, as if trying to find the nerve to speak, then said, “Thank you for being brave, Laura. Especially when I couldn’t be. When I was afraid to be… And thank you for not giving up. You put yourself in a dangerous situation and I still can’t believe you did; I can’t believe anyone would do that for me.” Carmilla let out a small, sad laugh.

“Carmilla, of course I would; I'd do anything you'd ask me to,” Laura took a step forward, bringing her hands to Carmilla’s shoulders and looking in her eyes, which were locked on her, focused and intense. “Look, I could’ve done it a million different - probably better - ways, but what I said before, I still mean it. You deserve great things; you’re _incredible_. I lo-”

The door swung open, as someone exited the building, startling them both.

And Laura took a step back, catching the rest of the word in the back of her throat.

 _Love_.

She was just about to tell Carmilla that she loved her. It’d been just her second time seeing her in _months_ and she was already _professing_ things.

Laura needed to slow down.

She’d just found her, she didn’t want to scare her off.

Laura took a deep breath then moved quickly to the unlocked the door. She held it open for Carmilla, ushering her in.

“Um, we should go in,” Laura said. “So, uh, follow me?”

Then Laura led them up two flights of stairs and down the hall to her apartment.  

“ _Chez Hollis_ ,” Laura said as she opened her door. “It’s not much but it’s...well, it’s not even home. But it’s mine, for now.”

The funny thing was, as she said those words she watched Carmilla look around her sparsely furnished and decorated living room and it had never felt more like home.

“Can I get you anything?” Laura asked, nervously taking off her coat and hanging it off the back of one of her chairs. Carmilla did the same. Laura shifted in place, and waved a hand towards her kitchen. “Water? I have hot cocoa, of course, and some wine, I could-”

Then suddenly Carmilla was in her space, her body against hers, her hands cupping her cheeks. Laura felt her senses become overwhelmed with everything about the woman.

Carmilla’s eyes searched Laura’s then she spoke, barely above a whisper.

“I have regretted so much since I let you go, Laura. I keep thinking about the show in Toronto and how I let you walk out and how I’ve been a coward. And when I finally realized what an idiot I’d been, your number stopped working and you disappeared from social media; I took that as a sign to just...give up. Which was wrong.” Carmilla’s eyes started watering. “And I think I deserve an award or a fucking medal, because I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you in the audience, and I’ve exercised an incredible amount of restraint until now.”

Carmilla leaned her forehead against Laura’s, her eyes squeezed shut, then desperately asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Laura felt herself nod before she even realized she was doing it.

And they kissed.

It was almost urgent, the way the two clung to each other, as if they were both afraid the moment would end suddenly, like either would disappear. Missing Carmilla as much as Laura had made everything feel more heightened. The tug of her hands on her collar and the press of her body against hers. Carmilla’s whimper, as Laura took her bottom lip between her teeth, before slipping her tongue past her lips.

She pulled Carmilla’s hips roughly against hers, almost feeling like she had to stop herself from tearing at her clothes.

A quiet but rational voice in the back of Laura’s mind was telling her to stop. It was too soon, the emotions were too high. It told her that maybe they should start from the beginning again, talk it out, be in a proper relationship first.

But the louder part of her was beating in her chest, hard and loud and steady.

It told her one thing: Nothing was stopping her.

The decision was made when Carmilla’s tongue traced against Laura’s bottom lip, licking past her parted lips, pulling a moan from Laura.

“Bed,” Laura gasped, tugging Carmilla through the living room.

Carmilla pulled back abruptly, her eyes searching Laura’s. “Are you sure? We’re not moving too fast are we?”

Laura barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes. “I have always appreciated your strangely old-fashioned sense of propriety when it came to romance, but it’s been too long, and I’ve missed you too much.” Laura pulled Carmilla back in, pressing their lips together once more.

Carmilla grinned. “So, bed?”

“Bed.” Laura nodded, their smiles pressing together as they tried to kiss through their laughs.

This was happening.

Laura, almost too eagerly, pushed Carmilla through her bedroom door. She would’ve been embarrassed, but Carmilla’s expression told her she wasn’t the only one who was excited.

As she laid Carmilla down on her bed, her dark hair fanned out beautifully on Laura’s yellow pillow, Laura had to bite her lip to stop it from quivering. She straddled Carmilla, cupping her cheeks, before leaning down and capturing the mouth she so desperately wanted to kiss, every day, for as long as she’d be allowed to.

They gasped against one another’s mouths, the anticipation getting to them as Laura laid her body flush against Carmilla’s, crawling her fingers up the hem of Carmilla’s shirt and flexing against the skin on her stomach. Carmilla’s fingers tugged at Laura’s hair, her other hand inching down her back, cupping her ass. Laura slipped her thigh between Carmilla’s, earning gasps from both women.

Their kisses intensified with every languid roll of their bodies against one another. A mantra kept repeating in Laura’s head: _More, more, more_.

This felt different than it had been before.

No more secrets, no more lies.

Just Laura and Carmilla, the way they both always wanted.

\---

Laura woke up, alone in bed. She yawned, stretching out - her body ached in a delicious way after the night she had. It registered to her why she woke up - the warmth in her bed was gone, but also there was a quiet, but happy, singing coming from outside her room.

She got up, an immediate grin on her face, threw on a tank top and underwear, and padded barefoot to the kitchen.

And there was Carmilla, in one of Laura’s t-shirts, barely reaching the tops of her thighs. She was rummaging through her refrigerator and quietly singing what sounded like _Can’t Help Falling In Love_.

Laura swooned.

Carmilla looked up at her and grinned, closing the fridge with her hip and leaned against it.

“I have two problems.”

“What are they?” Laura stood against the counter, arms crossed.

“One - you have clothes on,” Carmilla laughed at Laura’s eye roll, “And two - cupcake, you have no food.”

“I eat out a lot,” Laura explained, with a shrug. She blushed immediately, catching the innuendo.

Carmilla’s eyebrows shot up, then she slid back into that easy smirk, so coy and teasing. “ _Really_. I mean, you _have_ demonstrated a great deal of skill…”

Laura huffed. “Shut up. I literally go to restaurants a lot. I told you I can’t cook.”

“Well, lucky for you I can,” Carmilla answered. She pushed off the fridge, walking towards her. “This isn’t exactly going to solve my first problem, but let’s go for hipster breakfast and then get groceries.”

“ _Brunch_ , Carmilla. You can call it brunch.”

“Potato, potahto.” Carmilla took Laura’s hand, leading her back to her room.

“Do you have to write with LaF today?” Laura asked, as Carmilla picked up the clothes she wore the night before, giving them a sniff and flinching. Laura rolled her eyes and tossed Carmilla a shirt that she could wear.

“Thanks,” Carmilla said, taking off the other shirt - Laura outright oogled - and putting on the other. “Trying to get rid of me?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

She went to the washroom to wash her face, pulling out a spare toothbrush from underneath her sink and handing it to Carmilla, who followed. They took turns, washing their faces and brushing their teeth.

It was entirely too domestic and natural.

It was entirely everything Laura didn’t know she wanted.

“LaFontaine will understand if I don’t show up for a little while,” Carmilla said, breaking the comfortable silence while finishing brushing her hair with Laura’s brush. She reached up, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Laura’s ear that had fallen out of the bun she’d put up. “Now, let’s get food.”

“The quicker we get food, the quicker we can come back?”

Carmilla grinned. “And solve my problem of you being overdressed? Yes, please.”

\---

@CarmillaAnon: Look at who I ran into. Where’ve you been, cutie? << Attached photo: Laura grinning with a towering plate of waffles in front of her. >>

@LauraHollis: @CarmillaAnon I KNEW changing my twitter handle would confuse you!!!

\--

“Did you really need to get _three_ boxes of Chokoa Crunch, Carm?”

A delicious _brunch_ at Laura’s favourite place nearby and four bags filled with groceries later, Laura and Carmilla were putting food away in Laura’s scarce kitchen.

“Like I said before - I’m probably going to be spending a lot of mornings here. You know what I’m like when I don’t have breakfast.”

Laura grinned, putting the carton of Soy Tasty in the fridge. Of course she remembered; Laura just wanted to hear her say it again. Carmilla was buying the food she wanted, keeping it at her apartment - a clear message that she intended on sticking around.

A message that Laura was very happy to hear, loud and clear.

Carmilla’s text alert went off. She pulled out her phone and laughed. “LaFontaine just sent a back a few crude emojis and smiley faces.”

Laura grabbed the phone and laughed - LaFontaine very _imaginatively_ sent some emoji depictions as to what they thought her and Carmilla had been up to. They weren’t inaccurate.

“They’re okay with you staying?” Laura asked, as Carmilla put the last item, a package of cookies, away in the pantry.

“Of course they are,” Carmilla said, wrapping her arms around Laura. “They know how much you mean to me.”

Laura’s breath hitched.

“You know that, right? You mean a lot to me. Still. Always,” Carmilla said, eyes questioning Laura’s reaction. She kissed her forehead as Laura nodded with relief. “Now, I’m not sure if you remember, but I was _kind of_ upset earlier this morning. We solved one of my issues-”

“-By getting the food.”

“Yeah, by getting the food. But my other issue?”

Now, Laura never really considered herself to be sexy or seductive, but Carmilla just _inspired_ it out of her, she supposed. She pulled out of Carmilla’s arms, smirking at Carmilla’s confused face. She slowly walked into the living room, feeling Carmilla’s eyes on her as she moved away, then slowly lifted her shirt off.

“You mentioned something about me wearing clothes?” She looked behind her, at Carmilla’s shocked expression. “ _Well_ , I have been known to be a _great_ a problem solver,” Laura drawled, turning back around and unclasping her bra, turning and tossing it at Carmilla, covering her chest with her arm.

Carmilla rushed forward, wrapping her arms around Laura, lifting her and rushing her into the bedroom.

\---

@NonLaFNon: @KirschNonAnon @DannyLawrence come to Vancouver already. @CarmillaAnon found @LauraHollis so I’ve been left alone. I blew up our microwave.

@KirschNonAnon: @NonLaFNon @CarmillaAnon @LauraHollis LITTLE NERD IS BACK?! WOAH! Carmilla, you should do a vlog with her!

@NonLaFNon: @KirschNonAnon I have a feeling that what they’re up to is far from PG-13. Also, *whoa.

@DannyLawrence: @NonLaFNon @KirschNonAnon Gross.

@DannyLawrence: Oh, and welcome back, @LauraHollis! #TeamHollstein

@NonLaFNon: #TeamHollstein

@KirschNonAnon: #TeamCarmaura @DannyLawrence @NonLaFNon

\---

“ _Fuck_ , Carm,” Laura breathed out, as she came down from her orgasm. Carmilla pressed one last kiss against her centre, before replacing her mouth with her fingers, gently coaxing a few aftershocks out of her.

“We’re back together, right?” Carmilla asked, as made her way back up Laura’s body, inching up with her mouth leaving kisses against Laura’s fluttering stomach and chest. Carmilla stopped at her neck, laved her tongue against Laura’s pulse point and sucking the skin, causing a bruise.

Laura gasped at the sensation.

“After what you just did to me?” she groaned, lifting Carmilla’s chin and bringing her lips to her mouth. She moaned, still able to taste herself on Carmilla’s tongue. “We better be...”

Carmilla smiled. She propped herself up on her elbow when they separated, resting her head in her hand, trailing her other hand away from Laura’s centre and tracing up and down her torso.

“So, I realized a few things,” Carmilla drawled.

Laura quirked an eyebrow. “Like, just now? When you were going down on me?”

“Seriously, cupcake?”

Laura smirked. “Go on.”

“Well,” Carmilla traced her finger down Laura’s bare chest, drawing patterns from her clavicle to her stomach, “we need to be doing that a lot more times today, and probably even more in the next few days, you know, to make up for lost time.”

Laura agreed. She said so and smiled broadly. Carmilla was so cute.

(Laura knew Carmilla would’ve hated that that was her immediate thought, but whatever. It was true.)

“And,” Carmilla continued, the patterns feeling suspiciously like hearts on Laura’s chest. “I want it all with you. The nights, the _incredible_ nights, but also the days, waking up beside you and getting ready with you, getting the groceries and running errands. I want 3 am Skype calls when I’m on tour and I miss you too much, I want to have to beg you to stay _one more day_ when you visit me on the road. I want to write corny love songs and dedicate them to you. I want to talk about you but only in the context that we’re disgustingly happy. I want you to be part of my life again and I want want to be part of yours.”

“Me too,” Laura said, wiping tears from her eyes but still laughing a little because she just couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She pulled Carmilla back down for a kiss.

“I don’t want to run away with you anymore,” Carmilla continued when she pulled away, her lips still brushing against Laura’s. “I don’t want to run away from anything. I just want to be part of your every day and be able to love you every day. If that's what you want too.”

“It is,” Laura whispered, her breath hitching. She blinked, feeling another tear slide down her cheek.

In that moment, with the midday rain falling outside, the street sounds filtering into the room, and the light from the grey sky filtering in, highlighting beautiful Carmilla’s face and sparkling eyes, Laura felt a shift in her routine, in her life. She knew that from this day forward, Carmilla would be her constant, always with her.

And she’d never been happier with where her life was going.

\---

@LauraHollis: @KirschNonAnon @NonLaFNon @DannyLawrence I've missed you guys. I can’t wait to catch up! <3

@CarmillaAnon: Why must my bandmates talk about me behind my back in front of everyone on Twitter?

@LauraHollis: @CarmillaAnon @NonLaFNon @KirschNonAnon @DannyLawrence Carm totally tweeted that with a smile. She loves you guys! #SuchASap

@CarmillaAnon: Because of you, @LauraHollis #Fine #SuchASap #TeamHollstein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue will be posted in a moment...


	16. Epilogue - Maui

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this is it! Remember to read chapter 15 before this - I wouldn't bring this up if I haven't _often_ made this mistake when authors post multiple chapters at once on AO3. So yes - I'm posted chapter 15 and the epilogue together, so **make sure you read chapter 15 first!**

**A year and a half later...**

_Note: Hey J.P.! How are things in the office? I’m emailing you from my balcony overlooking the ocean in Maui, which is possibly the coolest sentence I've ever typed about myself, I feel very special. Anyway, thanks for volunteering to edit this video for me. It’s been kind of fun to do this again, but I do_ not _miss editing the vlogs. Holy deja vu, Batman! Anyway, the transcript is below. Let me know if you have any questions. See you in two weeks! <3_

_\--_

Me: Hi everyone! Laura here! I know I haven’t done one of these videos in a while, but Carm and I wanted to give you guys a little something - I mean, it has been almost two years since I posted my first Non! Anon vlog. Carmilla! Get in here!

Carmilla: Alright, alright, I’m here. Hey Laura’s viewers. It’s been a while. _< < I tried SO HARD to get her to smile here, she’s such a grumpus sometimes! >>_

Me: It has - I can’t believe you’re doing this.

Carmilla: Well it was _my_ idea, cupcake.

Me: Okay, well Carmilla and I are currently on vacation-

Carmilla: -Enjoying some time away from Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3-

Me: -Otherwise known as Carmilla’s beloved band mates-

Carmilla: -Right-

Me: -And like I said, we wanted to say hello to all of you and maybe show you a little of what we’ve been up to. Carmilla, say the thing.

Carmilla: No.

Me: Do it.

Carmilla: Roll the footage. _< < Aww she’s so cute and grumpy and whipped!!! >>_

_< < Cut to our vacation footage! You could totally do a montage here, J.P. I got some really nice footage of Carmilla and I on the Road to Hana and we got some footage of us learning how to surf (and failing at it). Is two minutes too long? It’s up to you, J.P.! >>_

_< <Cut back to me and Carmilla in the hotel >>_

Me: So we’ve been enjoying a relaxing holiday with each other after a crazy last few years - our first proper vacation, really.

Carmilla: A well-deserved relaxing holiday, cupcake. You were a finalist for the Canadian Journalism Society awards last year, you’ve started your own news website and YouTube Channel...

Me: Yeah, but you and Non! Anon have won a Polaris _and_ a Juno and debuted at number one a ba-jillion times.

Carmilla: But you have a staff who work for you _and_ you still write for the Toronto Star on the side.

Me: Well, it’s always good to keep your options open. Plus, you’re no slump - you’re the one who’s been nominated for a Grammy!

Carmilla: And yet somehow, none of that is as exciting as when we bought our place together in Toronto.

Me: That’s true. _< < Oh, god. My smile here is pretty intense, do I always look vaguely psychotic when I smile at Carmilla?! I’m just so happy! >>_

Carmilla: And even that isn’t as exciting as what happened yesterday.

Me: Why, Carmilla, what happened _yesterday_?! _< < I know I’m such a good actor, I’m so good at playing it cool. >>_ Okay, Carm, say the thing again.

Carmilla: Roll the footage.

_< < cut to - MV_5324.avi - J.P. - please watch this without crying. >>_

Carmilla: Hey, uh, Laura, can you come out here?

Laura: Yeah! Why do you have a camera out? It’s just us on the balcony... Wait, Carmilla, I told you I didn’t want to film us doing _that_.

Carmilla: Sweetheart, for the love of god, just sit down.

Laura: What are you doing? Oh, your guitar! Are you going to sing to me? Wait, what’s that behind you? OH! Is that a cupcake? Wait, what's on the icing?

Carmilla: You never fail to ask a million questions, these last few years have been like one long interview with occasional breaks for sex.

Laura: _Carmilla!_ Is that a ring?!

Carmilla: It is. _< < J.P., when she smiles at me like _that _, I just...ahhhh...I am so ridiculously in love with her...ugh, we’re gross, I know. >>_

Laura: Are you really proposing to me like this?

Carmilla: Yes?

Laura: Is that another question?

Carmilla: Well, _no_ , hold on, let me put down my guitar. Okay, I had a whole speech ready and basically memorized, and I wrote you a song, but I guess I should've said everything and then brought you the cupcake after...

Laura: Carm...

Carmilla: I should’ve known not to plan this out too much, I mean, part of why you’re so great is that _nothing gets past you_ , you’re so clever, so, ugh..

Laura: _Carmilla..._

Carmilla: But we can skip all of that - the song, well, it’s _great_ , but I can play it for you later. And the speech? It was basically ‘I love you, I want to be with you forever, you're my best friend, and I want to make you happy.’

Laura: Excellent condensed speech. _< < I am a little embarrassed by how quickly I started crying here. I barely understood what I said through my tears! And I said it! >>_

Carmilla: So will you marry me? _< < I can’t believe how nervous she looked >>_

Laura: Yes!

_< < It’s seriously the most bizarre thing to watch me and Carmilla kiss on camera. So awkward. I'm basically attacking her face. But look! The ring! It's gorgeous! >>_

Laura: Now gimme the cupcake! Oh! Wait!

Carmilla: Cupcake, what are you doing?

Laura: _(off-camera)_ Hold on! I’m grabbing something!

_< < Her confused face here TOTALLY made it worth her stealing my thunder. >>_

Laura: I'm back! Okay! _< < Carmilla is kind of traditional, so I had to go down on one knee. Plus, I was totally shaking, so standing was not a good idea... >> _

Carmilla: Cupcake, seriously?

Laura: I was going to propose tonight after dinner but now works, considering we’re already engaged - nice job, beating me to it. And I also had a speech - similar content: I love you, I want to be the person who makes you happy forever, I want to be yours. Will you marry me?

_< < And of course the ring fits! Nice guessing job, Hollis! And look, Carmilla's TOTALLY tearing up here! >>_

Carmilla: I can't wait to be your wife.

_< < Cut back to Carmilla and I in the hotel room - get to the part where we both hold up our hands and show off our rings. >>_

Me: We’re engaged!

Carmilla: We are.

Me: Be more enthused, Carm!

Carmilla: I am. I really am. My favourite person in the world agreed to spend the rest her life with me, Creampuff. I’m thrilled. But I’m also super cool, so I can’t be too excited. _< < Ah! There it is, there’s her smile! What a babe. >>_

Me: It’ll ruin your reputation?

Carmilla: Exactly.

Me: Ah, because I actually think _this_ will ruin your reputation.

<< _overlay IMG_2438.jpg - the SUPER adorable picture of Carmilla buried in the sand while she napped on the beach! >>_

Carmilla: I can easily just stop you from posting that damn picture, but you’re being way too dorkily happy, so I guess I’ll just deal.

Me: Whipped!

_< < cut back to Carmilla and I >>_

Me: Okay, so you might be wondering - why are we sharing this with you?

Carmilla: We do try to be pretty private.

Me: But we know that you’ve all been curious about us. So rather than having you guys hear it from some tabloid-

Carmilla: -Or my publicist-

Me: -We wanted it to come from us.

Carmilla: Plus, I _really_ want to brag about how lucky I am. Two years ago, I was such a mess. Then I met her. She's made my life so much better, in every way.

_< < If you look closely, you can see my face turn red here. >>_

Me: Caaaaarm. _I’m_ lucky.

Carmilla: I love you, Laura.

Me: I love you too.

_< < J.P., you can totally cut out this awkward kissing part too. >>_

Me: Ooookay, lady killer. Let’s keep this PG-13, Carm.

Carmilla: PG-13. How incredibly dull.

Me: Updating your fans now, smooching later.

Carmilla: I’m hoping for a _little_ more than just smooching later, sweetheart.

_< < My eyes sometimes get really tired from all the rolling  >>_

Me: Thank you, viewers, for watching and supporting us! It’s been...such a crazy last few years. But we’re thankful for every moment.

Carmilla: Yeah. Thanks for your constant support guys - of Non! Anon, of me, of _my_ beautiful fiancee.

Me: This has been Laura and Carmilla from the newly engaged club! We’ll talk to you guys later, maybe. Probably not for a while, actually - in the words of _my_ beautiful fiancee: otherwise we’ll lose our air of mystery, won’t we? But hey, if you want to - you can find us both on Twitter and Tumblr - links are in the description below! And of course, don’t forget to subscribe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my betas, [platypiandi](http://platypiandi.tumblr.com/) and my wife. And thanks to all of you. [Find me here, if anyone wants to talk.](http://uncreativenamefics.tumblr.com)


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